So I just learned a couple of stuff that hit my confidence right in the nuts, and have to vent about it.
I was in a relationship until the beginning of June with a girl, and it was on the point of starting to get serious. It was a bit difficult, as she kept saying that she didn't want anything serious, but showing that she actually did (starting the pill one week after the start of the relationship, talking about positions regarding abortion, proposing to keep my cat for a while, etc..) I tend to be a really good reader with girls I know well, so I was ok with it. I knew I was starting to fall in love, and was 50% thinking she was just interested in sex (seriously, first thing we were doing all the time - she was bad at it, but heh)
Then, sh1t kind of hit the fan. I learned that my father died after his bowels more or less exploded while he was alone because of sickness, and my mother was the one finding him two weeks after he died. Not really good times. So I went back to France for the funerals, and she got super clingy/sentimental before I left, was worried i would forget about her, etc.
I stayed around 4-5 days in France, and when I got back, she insisted for me to come at her place even though I was tired as sh!t after the jetlag and stuff. Had our first unprotected sex, didn't really go well but not horrible either, just average. Left with a kiss in the morning, chatted/flirted normally during the day, and then she just stopped replying to anything all of a sudden. Given that we were litterally chatting 24/7 before, I noticed, but decided to let it go, it happens sometimes, and just initiated conversations every now and then, still with no reply.
Then, 2 days later, as I try to have her talk, she just goes "I'm not sure when i'll see you again" (through gtalk, so classy). I try to find why, and she says she actually doesn't have time for dating. Once I see she's serious, I just say that I think it's a waste for both of us, but ok, have fun with everything, and left with my dignity somehow intact. I had big doubts about her reason, as "brutally stops answering" usually means "other guy" in my book, but whatever. A bit depressed as it was right after my father's death, but didn't hold a grudge on that (other option was for her to wait for a good moment, but there is never one). Just glad I didn't let her take care of my cat haha
That was 1.5 months ago. I've met other girls since then, some actually better than her, and though I haven't moved on completely, I still consider it a part of the past
Now, the news. So as I thought, there was another guy. But unlike what I thought, that she met a guy after I went back from France, it appears they actually dated right after I left for France. Yep, she actually did the "hey, my bf is away for his father's funeral, let's hook up!"
I also learned that they are moving together next month. So much for the "I'm not ready for anything serious" heh? And to top it off, he seems hot as hell haha (Think Matthew Fox - Jack in Lost). And in the street next to mine. Yeah, it's as ridiculous as it sounds.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, but I needed to vent out. I believe venting out is the worst solution when faced with bad stuff, and it's better to just do nothing, laugh about it, or find the positive aspects. But now, it's hard to laugh about being dumped through gtalk by the girl you liked after she cheated on you during the funeral of your brutally deceased father. Hard to find the positive aspects of it too.
It's quite an impressive story, so I'm sure it will have value in the future as an interesting past, as it's my second worst break-up ever (first one being when my fiancee disappeared in China, and reappeared one year later married to another guy, hard to top this one). Also, a girl keeping you only for your sex skills is good. But overall, it pretty much shot my confidence down.
So that's it, just wanted to share. I have to admit it I'm impressed - almost disgusted - than people, normal, average people, can do that kind of stuff, and still look at themselves in the mirror. I'm probably going to stay away from dating (but not gaming) for a while because of that. I wonder if they realize that behind each distant and closed man, there is a story like that.
Also, if you see how to get positive aspects out of it, or even how to turn it into a dhv, I'm all ears
Quite a long read, but there was a lot to say.