So a couple of hours ago I way tanning in my backyard and as that sometimes happens to me at quiet moments, a whole train of thought crossed my mind. It's often about PUA but I usually either write it down much later or not at all, so a lot of stuff gets lost. This time, however, I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it all down. This thread is the result of it. What you're about to read are my thoughts of this afternoon. It's partly practice, partly philosophy and partly philosophy which I will practice. I often think my stuff as if I'm writing it in a book, so that's why it reads as if it's addressed to people.
I realize it's a very long read so you can read/download the PDF version here (scroll down). If you're going to read it on here, prepare for the mother of all lengthy threads.
The alpha male is a leader. His most important trait is that he always takes charge at every time and in every situation and venue he finds himself in. He is always the leader and exhibits all the traits of a good leader. He automatically assumes and takes over the mantle of leadership in anyone's company. Even when he is in an established social group he is interacting with for the first time. This has to be expressed in speech, thought and body language. Also, a good leader always raises the value of those around him.
This leadership, as I said, is to be assumed at all times. You should always regard yourself as the loved guy in charge. If it helps, imagine yourself being a popular character like a superhero, movie star, owner of a company or idealist leader when you start out. It has to be someone that will be both followed and popular or deeply respected. This means you have to smile and say hello to your followers (which you should assume is everyone), just like your imagined character would, and, more importantly, like a leader would. Always treat people as if you are to lead them, but with respect.
When a good leader wants something to be done, he doesn't command anyone. No one likes to be bossed around and leaders who do lose the respect of their followers at an extremely fast rate. That amount of respect of the followers is what makes a man an alpha male and thus everything should be done to avoid the loss of it and increase it's gain.
When a good leader wants something to be done, he requests it in a friendly manner and when his request is fulfilled, he thanks the one who did so. “Please” and “thanks” are not words of weakness but words of strength, for the use of them by a leader increases the respect of his followers for that leader.
So say “Could you get me something to drink, please?” rather than “Get me something to drink”. Not only will you complete that sentence with more respect by the receiver, your request will also be more likely to be fulfilled.
A similar idea goes for giving your opinion. An alpha male should never be afraid to give his opinion. He should, however, adapt the way he gives it to the situation he gives it in and the person he gives it to.
Let's say a long haired girl cut it short and asks for your opinion while you're hanging out with mutual friends. You love long hair on women and dislike short hair. As an alpha male, you should always be honest but bluntly saying “I think it looks horrible on you” will hurt her feelings and lower her respect for you. If you simply say “I don't really like it. The long hair looked way better on you”, you're giving her a softer, still honest version which lets her know the exact same thing but doesn't hurt her and allows her to keep her dignity. Her respect for you will increase in this case for being completely honest while taking her emotions into account. This conveys that you respect her, too, and that's a positive thing. An alpha male always respects those who have done nothing to lose the starting amount of respect you feel for anyone he just met. You can't expect to be respected by people you don't respect yourself.
The third area where this applies is undertaking actions and telling people what the deal is. Let's say you're out clubbing with friends. They're mixed men and women. One of the women displays body language that tells you she is annoyed by the drunk guy bothering her. In this case a lot of protective guys would tell the guy to fark off. That will inevitably lead to an exchange of foul words and possibly even a fight. If you think about it, there's really no reason to approach the guy that way and since a leader is supposed to give the right example, you must come up with a better way to solve this. The guy in my example was offended because the protective guy came in guns blazing. What he should have done is come up with a diplomatic and friendly solution first; he should have asked “Hey, she's not really interested, mate. Would you mind to leave her alone, please?”. If that doesn't help, he should have kindly tell him to go away and only if all else fails, tell him to fark off. You'll achieve much more by thinking the situation over before acting.
The three traits of alpha males described above lead me to believe that the social alpha male (SAM) and egoist alpha male (EAM) from my journal number 4, often described and promoted by the gurus, are wrong because they are based on either socialness, dominance or egoism and the greatest alpha males are leaders. Thus the impersonality, the traits, actions, thoughts and abilities of an alpha male, should be based on leadership. Leadership should be the core of every alpha male, from which his personality stems, rather than from socialness, dominance or egoism. I believe that is the only way to bind the positive traits of both the social alpha male and the egoist alpha male together to become the complete alpha male (CAM). This is the highest alpha male.
So why assume that leadership is the core trait of an alpha male, rather than socialness, dominance or egoism? The problem is that guys, like myself, take that one word that is described by gurus as the most important trait for an alpha male, or even as a one word description of an alpha male, and get lost in that trait because they think that one trait is to be exhibited at all times and thus they become afraid of stepping out of that trait because they think it's not alpha. Over time, as they incorporate that one trait, they will go too far with it. Social alpha males will become extremely social but take less risks and make less moves because they are afraid errors and rejections will harm them. Dominant alpha males wil go too far in their efforts to dominate and suppress followers instead of leading them. Egoist alpha males will become too selfish and never take others into account in actions or speech, which will make them look like assholes. The only one word description of an alpha male that would always guide guys in the right direction when they're lost is leadership. A good leader has all the positive traits of the varying alpha males and adjusts to situations accordingly. When alpha-males-in-training don't know what to do in a certain situation, they can just wonder what a good leader would do and the right way to handle things will come to them. If they're in the same situation and think of the words socialness, dominance or egoism, they would often take the wrong actions or say the wrong things because their way of thinking is too one-sided and they don't adapt. That's why I think leadership should be regarded as the core trait and one word description of an alpha male.
A solid frame is very important to a leader. A good leader will always take situations, emotions and personalities into account and will therefore often act friendly, but can also stand his ground when he is tested or someone gives him sh!t. In these cases, it is extremely important that he is completely convinced of his rightful claim to the mantle of leadership and his own beliefs. A leader should only apologize of he really farks up and hurts close followers, truly regrets what he did or accidentally bumps into someone. When someone challenges his leadership, he should not give away an inch. He should stand his ground and admit making mistakes if he did, but never apologize for being the way he is.