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  1. #1
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Question Recurring deep rapid attraction???

    OK, here's a little background info on how I came up with this question:

    I started thinking about all the girls I've: been in serious relationships with, dated (casually or exclusively) or even just met with / gone out with once or twice.

    *Side note- most of these girls have been completely different from each other too.

    What I mean is, I haven't been with the "same type" of girl over & over again. They've all had different personalities, upbringings, shapes, financial situations, interests... etc.
    But, there has been a common theme / occurrence with most all of them:

    They become ultra attracted to me VERY quickly; So much so in fact, that they develop strong emotional connections which get them hooked deep, almost instantly.... even when I don't sleep with them.
    (This has been both good AND bad, by the way.)

    What I'm wondering is: Does anyone else have the same experience? (Or have you had that happen more than just once or twice?)

    I've noticed this for quite a while, but hadn't really thought about "WHY" until recently.
    So, I figured I'd ask Y'all this question to see if we might be able to pinpoint specific reasons/actions behind it?

    This thread will absolutely be a Q&A discussion in order to dig deeper into the cause & effect factors. (seeing how I merely presented an experience, and haven't provided any specifics because I don't really know what questions to ask, when it comes to isolating a possible trigger.)

    All your input is greatly appreciated!!



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  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recurring deep rapid attraction???

    I wouldn't say that this would happen to me with every woman I come across. But the ones that I take a few steps towards building something then yes this can happen. Something about being able to make a connection with them on a level that not many (if any) men have had before. Then they feel that you are "perfect" at which they get a rude awakening in a few months lol. Not entirely sure why though. Something about getting them to feel like they can tell you anything while still being mysterious to them. Or maybe being able to show your vulnerable side which makes them want to as well. Or maybe we display a quiet confident that doesn't seem cocky or weak. Like we are actually happy individuals and they have a hard time believing that. Well now I am at a crossroads lol.

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recurring deep rapid attraction???

    Ahhhn yes!
    You brought up something about them possibly feeling like we're "perfect"...and open up enough to tell us anything.

    And combined with that deep seeded connection because their emotional triggers were sent into hyper-drive? (so to speak)

    This may require some deep drilling into my own personal brain & attributes.



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  4. #4
    liukang75 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Recurring deep rapid attraction???

    I've heard that women will subconsciously search for a partner with an immune system that is opposite from thier own. I think this has to do with giving her offspring the best dna possible. I know that there is alot going on behind the scenes when two people are connecting and maybe your putting out the right signals with your hormones as well as your game.
    ďThe great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.Ē -Bruce Lee

  5. #5
    Autismus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recurring deep rapid attraction???

    (I'm imagining Dr. House saying all of this in my head)

    So you have multiple females with diverse background and no significant commonalities.

    They become enamoured.


    Experience

    I knew this chick-friend of mine (before I studied PU or she'd been more ) who once expressed that she found it difficult to date casually because whenever she dated someone they would fall madly in love, so to speak, with her - be obsessed about her. An attraction black-hole if you will. (Ooh! How's that for a name for this phenomenon? The Black-Hole of Attraction... I digress).

    I myself fell into her black hole, and not in the good way mind you. And she wasn't even that hot - probly an HB6 on a good day.

    Data Synthesis

    I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess these women often look deeply into your eyes and their expression softens. They feel that they can trust you with their secrets, yet they still want to look good in front of you and don't let it all hang out. They text you constantly - or at least regularly almost begging for you to give an IOI. Accurate at all? (feel like I'm cold reading - no homo.)

    Analysis

    Since these women have nothing significant in common - what can be said of all women? They have confidence as well as insecurities, they have secrets as well as a public image, they have desires as well as fears. Lets run with those.

    In your push-pull if you "push" her or Neg her on something she is insecure about (intelligence, pronunciation, style, social prowess, whatevs) then follow up by "pullung" her for something she is confident about - or simply by gracing her with the chance of redeeming herself - she thinks:
    "He knows the flaws that I know about myself, but he still is interested in me!"
    Thus YOU become a source of her confidence and a shield against her insecurities.

    If you are good at giving her what she wants of quality (companionship, excitement, sexual stimulation, thoughtful and insightful responses to her quandries, etc) then you are a source of her desire. And if you are good at catering your Comfort Building to the specific chick you are gaming, then she whenever she is near you she will have no memories of fear (which is an extreme of discomfort).

    As for secrets and public image... not as sure for that one. Maybe if you have rock-solid dhv's and high social proof and tightly executed preselection, then she will feel that her association with you increases her public image - thus making you two a team unit - and because she realizes/believes that her self-perceived value of her public image depends on you AND if she already has had the "...he knows my flaws but accepts me..." thoughts, THEN she will feel an overwhelming desire to tell you her deepest secrets, secondarily out of trust that you will accept her for them, and primarily to make sure that you understand how important you are to her as the main source of your (your-as in the two of you as a unit) public value. This is the "why do you want to be with me?" experience to the extreme... That convo where after you've DHV'd and the girl has to rationalize that you're not just using her... it's referenced in MM and I'm sure we've all had it... but I digress.


    Conclusion
    Basically if your game is mad on-point in any one of the broad categories of skills we use (DHV, CB, Neg, Social Proof, Push-pull, Disqalify / Qualify, Compliance etc) then you'll get closes. But if you have the prescision of a sniper on any four of these - you'll get girls falling desperate.


    In Epimetheus
    I gotta say this post gets into some deep Psychological sh1t. I'm almost hesitant to post to prevent it ever being used to generate major attraction and then hurt women. But I suppose learning how the heart works is knowledge which can be used either for CPR to save a life or for sliding a blade between the ribs to end one. No such thing as dangerous knowledge only dangerous people... gettin all Nero and Aristottle up in here!

    P.s. Though in hindsight, I doubt that any people who might be maliciously emotionally "dangerous" to women would be able to be THAT good at customizing their game in-feild per chick.

    P.p.s. I'm a geology major btw. O.o ...no, lol, no, I'm studying Psych.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR


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