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  1. #1
    Chris4937 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    So long story short. I was always a heavy set/fat guy. I decided to get my act together April 2011 at 300lbs never even lifting a weight in my life. I had done a few fad diets in the past for 30-40 days and then slipped back to old habits. Well this time around I got motivated, and determined like no other. Beast mode was turned [ON]. I now weigh 185lbs and have stuck to lifting weights, eating clean and supplementation.

    My biggest problem when I was a big guy was my weight, and yes I was morbidly obese. Now that I have shrunk down I get compliments all the time, from friends, co-workers and people in my gym and it boosts my confidence...tempora rily.

    My weight is no longer the issue. I was born with Strabismus, which is commonly confused as 'Lazy Eye'. I have gone through 2 operations as a kid to re-align my right eye and it is still not straight to this day. The misaligned eye is most noticeable when I look to my right. Therefore, when I talk to people or women I feel very uncomfortable when they are standing to my right. I can't hold eye contact and the only thing I think about is how unaligned my eyes are, and it kills my confidence. I am only comfortable talking to people when I look straight ahead or to my left.

    I have talked to my optometrist and he says that going through another operation could make the eye 'worse'. So I'm currently on the fence about going through this procedure for the 3rd time. There is nothing wrong with my right eye or my vision. I can see pretty clearly but my Dr did prescribe me glasses. My vision in the right eye is a bit weaker than my left eye but not by much. Most of my honest friends say its not as noticeable now that I have lost 115lbs, but I'm still skeptical.

    Any tips or suggestions you guys recommend to help me out with my problem? I seriously feel this is the root cause to my problems, being that I can't keep eye contact for fear of being judged or the person asking 'are you talking/looking to me?'

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    My suggestion would be to "point out the elephant in the room." Just straight up make a couple of jokes about it, if you're comfortable enough. Only do a couple though. Overdoing it could come across as insecure.

    By calling out the obviousness of it, it will relieve any unnecessary Tension that might have been built if she noticed. If you show that you accept everything about yourself, that's alpha.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
    Chris4937 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    I have thought about doing this, just didn't know if it would work in my favor or not. I am very open about it and don't care even if someone notices it I do joke about it, but when talking to girls I guess bringing it up wouldn't be a bad thing. I guess now that I think about it, it could help fuel a conversation.

  4. #4
    Chris4937 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    I've been trying to think of a way to address it, any ideas? Wont take anything personal, for cereal lol.

  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    I actually did some homework on this one. Wasn't easy, but here's what I came up with. (Some may seem like you are giving her more value, but at least it will release any Tension. Remember to not overdo at the risk of it being stale and looking insecure. Hopefully it helps.)

    - "Hey make sure to stay to the left of me otherwise we'll both feel awkward"

    - " You know what they say about a guy with a cock/lazy eye?"
    Her: "No what"
    "I don't know. That's why I asked you. Duh"

    - "As a warning: If you are on my right I will see you as a set of twins and get really excited. So don't do it!"

    -"Wanna know what my superpower is?"
    Her:"What?"
    "I have the ability to make you jealous by talking to you and checking out another woman at the same time!"

    Please feel free to be skeptical. I have never used these in the field and am working purely off of what I know about women.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    Chris4937 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My biggest problem when it comes to eye contact/confidence *Strabismus

    Damn brotha, I can definitely use those. I had been thinking about saying something along the lines of 'Superpower' but the way you used it was pretty damn creative.

    For the most part I go from work to the gym and then call it a day..I have been thinking about trying to approach some women at the gym but I am there quite often and not sure if this could make things awkward. I think approaching women as they leave or walk-in past me would be a great time....opposed to opening them up while they are working out. Thoughts?


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