Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 7 of 7
Like Tree8Likes
  • 2 Post By Autismus
  • 1 Post By 1000stepss
  • 3 Post By Cody
  • 2 Post By BatMan

Thread: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

  1. #1
    topgunningit's Avatar
    topgunningit is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,514, Level: 42
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 30.0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    429
    Points
    4,514
    Level
    42
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    206

    Default She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    This girl I met a few months ago, we were cool, we laughed talked and exchange numbers. We talked a couple times but we end up stopped talking. I recently ran into her and she totally ignored me. At first I didnt recognized her but I made eye contact with her and realized it was her. I approached her and used an inside joke we used when we first met and she laughed. I asked if we were cool and she said 'no'. I asked her 'why' and she replied 'because you act like a player, in more modern terms a Pick Up Artist'. She continue to add, 'I see that you are actually a really nice guy, but this person that see is not the person I actually like; I like nice guys'. I laughed and played it off and told her I was the same person she met but to tell you the truth my game has changed since I came to PUAforum. I learnt a lot from I been here and continue to learn and add to my arsenal but I feel like I am losing something else in the process. Whats going on here?
    ------------------------------------

  2. #2
    Autismus's Avatar
    Autismus is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 10,566, Level: 68
    Level completed: 29%, Points required for next Level: 284
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    903
    Points
    10,566
    Level
    68
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    473

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    I don't thinks it's as simple as the old proverb of "abundance breeds boredome".

    Something I've noticed I've lost is a sense of wonder when I feel a true connection with a girl. When I used to be AFC I might meet a girl whose beauty takes my breath away (now I just adjust her relative value perception). Or I might strike up a great conversation and, in the luck of an AFC have met a girl who shares my genuine interests and talk for hours (now I talk for hours because I have enough material and routines to meet the 7-hour rule).

    It's like growing up watching Sesame Street all your childhood, and then working back stage at a puppet show as an adult.

    For me, what I've lost is that sense of Mystery. That fleeting moment when I feel connected to a woman, when I feel intimate and vulnerable, but I don't know why... (now of course, I know that feeling can be created, or at least the illusion of it).

    There is a cost/benefit balance within the transition from AFC to PUA. AFC's have a sense of wonder and luck - but they exist in the hell that is the friendzone. PUA's get closes - but those relationships are often based upon an illusion that we know so well how to create.

    There is a hope though, the moth that flutters forth from pandoras box (pun/reference intended). Sometimes you will meet a girl with whom you don't have to try so hard, who has stunning beauty and takes your breath away even though you did your warmups and are over aa. With whom a connection develops aided by your illusions, routines and tricks, but composed of something more, something elusive...

    Because we approach women for many reasons (sometimes just for sport) it can sometimes seem difficult for a PUA to fall in love or even "in like," but when we do fall, because we are PUA, it is easier for us to get the girl.
    DTF HB's omw 2 LTR

  3. #3
    1000stepss is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 185, Level: 3
    Level completed: 70%, Points required for next Level: 15
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    28
    Points
    185
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    I think this might be a simple case of incongruence from your part. You got the theory and the material down but you still need a conscious effort to behave accordingly. She could've sensed this.

    I get the feeling that you forced 'coolness' in the interactions with her. You said you laughed off her comment about you being a player. Why laugh it off? She's being sincere about her concerns and you laugh it off? This would have been a chance for you to show her some vulnerability from your part. Ask her what she means by it.. maybe tell her that you too are concerned about coming off as a player but that's only because you absolutely wanted to meet her because she intrigued you or something.

    IMO this is not AFCish. If done sincerely, and from a place of confidence it's powerful. I myself still struggle with the cold approach but when I do meet someone (randomly or through my social circle) I feel there comes a time for a more intimate connection. Even the mystery method explains that at a certain stage it is ok to express interest.

  4. #4
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    Be proud that you're at this stage. A lot of men will never get this far or have the enlightening moment that you're at. By a lot I mean some of the best in the game. I'm subscribed to both RSD and Daygame and just yesterday watched two videos, one by each. The one is a montage of Julian's in-field game, the other Andy Yosha explaining how the whole process is a self-feeding machine.

    I honestly think it comes down to who actually gets it and who doesn't. I can only judge based on how they teach seeing how I've never met any of them before, but just the same. I think AFC Adam gets it. He's married now and pursuing more in the film aspect of his life. Neil gets it by the end of The Game. Wygant definitely gets it. TD doesn't. Gambler I'm not sure. Etc.

    What I mean is this: There is one giant lie that lurks around every corner of the community and that lie is this: Success with women will make you happy, content, and fulfilled. It's a lie. A giant, huge, bold-faced lie. Not only is it a lie, but the top companies use it to their advantage in marketing. I remember one of the first videos I received from PUATraining in which Gambler discusses how working the stock market wasn't fulfilling to him so he wanted success with women, which is fine, but when do you stop? (Admittedly, he also just wrote a blog post where he openly says that he doesn't know what he's doing with his life anymore and renounces the name of PUA as applying to him. I have mad respect for the dude, trust me I do.) These guys keep pushing the limits, thinking that being better will make them happier, but look at them. As I watched Julians montage I wasn't impressed, I just felt sad; sad because newbies will watch it thinking that'll make them happy, which, as I said, is fine going in, but shouldn't be the same going out.

    How good is good? It's up to you, but don't lose yourself in thinking you will find fulfillment. Andy explained it well in saying the better you get, the harder you are to please. It's true, and I'll be the first to agree. People bore me. Women bore me, but just like how we are the exception to every man, there are exceptions to every woman...but don't bank on that. That's still seeking validation and fulfillment in women and it'll get no nowhere but depressed.

    Today's my birthday and I turned 21. Last night at midnight I was playing Mario Kart Wii with three of my best friends. Did I want to go out? Nah, not tonight. Did I want a drink? Nah, maybe some chocolate milk though. It sounded good. and some waffles. So that's what I did. On my 21st birthday I had chocolate milk and waffles. Why? Because it made me happy. Eight hours later and I've had birthday sex twice with two different girls, but if I'm being honest I was happier to see them go.

    The ideal is happiness, so practice with women until you're happy then stop. Why else would you keep going? Guys like Virgil and I have been around long enough to see that the average PUA has a active membership of about three months, then they're off because they found what they were searching for. Those of us who stick around do so for the sake of others, not ourselves :P

    Damn, that was long. Hope it was good.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  5. #5
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    Well this has turned into quite the enlightening discussion. I like everyone's opinion on the subject. But of course being someone who HAS to have an answer for everything, I can't let this one go

    I'm a firm believer that whatever you put your attention on you give it power. So when spending so much energy to get better with women you add to the idea that you AREN'T good with women. Same thing applies to people who want to quit smoking. They believe they are smokers in the first place which makes it difficult to quit. Well.....how are you suppose to get better if you don't think there's an issue to begin with? I mean it's not like you can just feed yourself positive reinforcement continuously and think you are the perfect ladies man. Then you wouldn't be in "student mode" and actually learn anything. Here's where I want to talk about something called "mushin." (moosheen)

    Its a Japanese term that means "No mind." Its a state that martial artists enter when in combat or even in every day activities. It is the point that they no long meditate on what moves they should do, but the moves are seamless and flow naturally without any heavy thought into what the next move should be.

    This level of consciousness could only be entered after years of training. Someone just studying martial arts for a few months cannot gain the sense of mushin since they haven't had the training of such discipline. If he tries to behave like he has entered mushin then he will just look foolish when he fails every combat match he enters. They have to respect the natural progression of their evolution onto mushin.

    So i think every aspiring PUA should strive to reach this thing called "mushin" where its a point of no mind. Where they are no longer thinking, but it is instinct. And it is always on. Its also a place where you humbly accept that you still can always learn, but are content where you are. At least that's my opinion.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  6. #6
    Shakeshi is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 1,565, Level: 23
    Level completed: 65%, Points required for next Level: 35
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    82
    Points
    1,565
    Level
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    72

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    The correct answer is often the most obvious one.
    Re read what you wrote. She thinks that you are
    trying to play people. Perhaps she sees you as losing
    your humanity to become more gamey and less
    sincere.

  7. #7
    Tempest is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 597, Level: 11
    Level completed: 94%, Points required for next Level: 3
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    50
    Points
    597
    Level
    11
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    31

    Default Re: She said I am acting like a PUA or a Player

    Yeah, I had something similar happen to me when a girl asked me if this was some sort of game as I had been chilling with my friend before I approached her. I asked her what kind of game I could be playing? I was honestly just genuinly intrigued by her and had to meet her. Then the conversation flowed really well after that. Even if it was a game, me choosing to talk to her instead of some other girl makes any of her concerns irrelevant.


Similar Threads

  1. GF is acting disinterested
    By jarlragnar in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 02-07-2012, 09:19 PM
  2. Girl acting very sketchy- friend zoned or not?
    By Chatt525 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 01-29-2012, 01:48 PM
  3. acting class scene partner was hot girl
    By bartm in forum General Questions
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 10-23-2011, 04:02 PM
  4. why is she acting like this?
    By SleekB in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 02-28-2010, 11:30 PM
  5. Best way to game is when acting natural?
    By PUA JOMS in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 09-22-2009, 11:09 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com