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Thread: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

  1. #1
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    Default xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    This thread is for aspiring pua's. I think you should all know what real PU is all about: it's ups and it's downs. I'm goona talk about the most common and explain how to overcome them. Keep in mind that the downs will happen during the first few months of it, probably before your first f-close and even your first n-close, almost all of them are about your innergame and the effects of it changing. The ups are the result of month of work and overcoming the downs.

    Downs:

    Overwhelming:

    AFC's have a slim to none understanding of social psychology. It is normal to feel overwhelmed by just dipping you're toe in it sometimes even get depressed which i will talk about. You'll start to notice IOI's, IOD's,amogs..., you'll know everything that is happening around you through subcommunication and why it's happening and that my friends will scare the shit out of you at first don't worry this will go away on it's own with time. Another way to get overwhelmed is with all the different techniques, terms and knowledge. You can weed out some of the techniques easily just take your alpha male example/role model think to yourself would he do that? If he were to do something along the same line as that what would it be? Beeing overwhelmed with the terms and knowledge will also go away by itself with time.

    Obsession:

    I remember when I first started, I was 17 and I was blindsided by the "power" of it. What negs, IOD's, challenging, roll offs and above all punishing and rewarding
    (aka push/pull) could do to smoking hot 20 something year olds i could only dream about talking to much less kino and believed me my hand would get sore in the shower
    after a long day of kinoing . I didn't go for N-closes at first cuz I was afraid I would get caught abou my age. Anyway, I started to skip school and the days i went
    to school I could only think about PU hoaning my skills, learning new techniques, coming up with my own, beeing the AMOG wherever i went (Thank God I didn't join any
    forum until later)...I didn't do any homework,didn't pay attention in class so my grades started to plummit fast. My parents got a call to come down to the school and
    i didn't care. The only thing that stopped me was the realisation that if I continue like that i was not going to graduate. I don't want anyone getting to a point where
    they have to take a break from it. Guys, manage your time, know u're limits, don't over exhurt yourself and above all priorities here is a list of my priorities in order:
    -Mother
    -Me
    -Brother
    -Religion
    -University
    -PU

    Loosing friends:

    Understanding what an amog is and the importance of beeing one combined with the self esteem you'll get (especially after starting to get over your aa) will cause your friends to start seeing you in a different way and some of them will not like it so, they will try to demean your DHV's they will argue with you and sometimes if they are really stubborn it will come to blows and u'll find you're group of friends split in three some with you, some against you but most will not wan't any part of it and will want to calm things down. It is normal, you are taking away there dominance in the tribe and they will fight for it. I'm goona say a quote here, you may not like it but it's true, humans are violent in nature no matter how much you dress it up and try to disguise it, it is still there, life is all about dominance. If they are not ready to accept your new dominance they are not truly your friends. Drop them, you will make new and better friends, ones that will not stop your growth.

    Harassement:

    You'll get harrasement from guys and girls. The guys will want to know what's your secret (never tell them unless they are total AFC's and you trust them with your life) and will want advice and when it works they will want more and more and won't stop. Draw them a line, don't let them harass you put your foot down and say "NO".
    Some girls will start seeing you as a player and they will do there best to cock block you from there friends. If you have a girl that is your friend and that has dominance over you (knows you have feelings for her but you don't talk about it) she will start busting your balls about it just like any other amogs, you can't fight her, just turn your back to her and she'll come running back.

    Depression:

    Especially if you are sensitive by nature. You will start to see what humans truly are and how primitive and animalistic we really are, I started doubting my faith, you will start feeling that you are changing and you might not want that. The way to overcome theese things is by first accepting the human nature, we are flawed and still primitive. Second you are not changing, you still like what you've always liked and believe in the same things you've always beleived in. You are becoming more confident, powerful and dominant.The only thing that is changing is your "social mask", that means the only thing you are changing is how you are percieved and not who you truly are. The moment the game changes who I truly am I will leave it for good and never look back.

    Difficulty:

    This won't happen over night it will take time, determination and drive: "DON'T GIVE UP!". Only the ones with the strongest wills will get to the point of mastery. Never loose focus.

    Ups:

    Bigger social circle:

    You will notice people wanting to talk to you more and more just because you are who you are. They will want to go out with you and will want to be your friend. You
    might even get to a point where you won't be able to keep up to everyone. You will start getting free invites to classy places you can't afford.

    Respect:

    Almost everyone you meet will like you and everyone will respect you. You will become the MAN you always wanted to be.

    Women:

    You will get to a point in which you will be the selector and you won't be able to keep up with the girls and you will give some of them rainchecks which is a wonderful burden to have and the reason you started this journey.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Fantastic post, man. Reading this put a lot of the thing's from my past in perspective. Well done.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    i defenetly have to agree with you, pua has its ups and downs, but i feel that the benifits outway the costs. pua is like an investment in your future success with wemon, the more time you put in the more you get out,but there comes a point where it can take over your life (use up tons of your time) i hate to say it but i should be typing on my college paper right now pua is adicting

  4. #4
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    pua is like an investment in your future success with wemon, the more time you put in the more you get out,but there comes a point where it can take over your life (use up tons of your time) i hate to say it but i should be typing on my college paper right now

    I feel you, Meteora. Actually, I'm simultaneously watching a movie that the professor let me borrow because I missed class, and surfing The Forums. Just goes to show how PU can be used in all aspects of life, because not anyone could borrow her personal DVD and get an extention on the paper over it.

    Xavier, I appreciate this a lot. I have a journal that I carry around and write my ideas in and whatnot. This concept parallels one of them. AFC Adam has a speech where he says if you don't NEED to get into game, then don't. Just stick to the fundamentals: Confidence, Abundance, and the Ability to Sexually Escalate.

    I think what's most interesting is that, whether you intended to or not, you wrote this as a progression that goes even further than just beginning. At first, everything is overwhelming. Then it becomes an obsession so the overwhelming aspect doesn't matter anymore. After the obsession, you start to lose friends. Then you get harassed out of envy. Last, everything is kickass for a long time until you start to realize that women don't validate you (though that's how it seems from other's eyes).

    Honestly there are more cons than pros, but the weight of the pros is what matters. Success with women and the respect of men.

    A couple weeks back I went to a bonfire where my ex and old best friend showed up (they've been dating for over a year now). Whenever we're in the same vicinity everyone holds their breath. I went over to talk to him like an alpha because that's the kind of guy I am: no hard feelings, but I am better than you. We talked about different sh*t, how successful he was becoming even while still in college, which was true. The dude's going to have mad success and will probably end up marrying my ex, but they aren't happy and probably never will be. He asked what I was up to and I said pickup. He said it was a joke, and that just because a guy is good with women doesn't make him a leader of men. To which I said, yeah, coming from the guy who lost all of his friends when he started dating his best friend's (ex) girl. Now you only have each other and are both terribly lonely. He denied it, but they both know it's true. Not everyone at the fire liked him, or even me for that matter, but everyone there did respect me as most people do.

    Things got quiet so I started talking to the girl next to me, who heard our entire conversation. Yes, about pickup. I got her number right in front of my ex. I know she b*tched about it the whole way home.

    So yeah, it's worth it.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  5. #5
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    One of the downsides I feel is over analyzing social situations. the burden of the social mask you mention can wear down an AFC, he will think more before talking/texting to not break the rules of the game( dlv or appear needy/insecure/player etc). the other downside is getting addicted to the help from community to respond in every situation with girls and losing the ability to act on their own.
    If it frightens you, Do It!

  6. #6
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    i defenetly have to agree with you, pua has its ups and downs, but i feel that the benifits outway the costs. pua is like an investment in your future success with wemon, the more time you put in the more you get out,but there comes a point where it can take over your life (use up tons of your time) i hate to say it but i should be typing on my college paper right now pua is adicting
    Of course cuz u're at a point where all u can think about is improving more and more which is natural cuz pua improves u exponentially. Be happy with the progress you've made and the objectives u've accomplished, seek more of course but don't get greedy and don't loose focus you NEED your degree, do you really wanna take 6-7 years to get yur degree? You can focus on PU in the summer holiday and on week ends.
    PRIORITIES.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  7. #7
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    pua is like an investment in your future success with wemon, the more time you put in the more you get out,but there comes a point where it can take over your life (use up tons of your time) i hate to say it but i should be typing on my college paper right now

    I feel you, Meteora. Actually, I'm simultaneously watching a movie that the professor let me borrow because I missed class, and surfing The Forums. Just goes to show how PU can be used in all aspects of life, because not anyone could borrow her personal DVD and get an extention on the paper over it.

    Xavier, I appreciate this a lot. I have a journal that I carry around and write my ideas in and whatnot. This concept parallels one of them. AFC Adam has a speech where he says if you don't NEED to get into game, then don't. Just stick to the fundamentals: Confidence, Abundance, and the Ability to Sexually Escalate.

    I think what's most interesting is that, whether you intended to or not, you wrote this as a progression that goes even further than just beginning. At first, everything is overwhelming. Then it becomes an obsession so the overwhelming aspect doesn't matter anymore. After the obsession, you start to lose friends. Then you get harassed out of envy. Last, everything is kickass for a long time until you start to realize that women don't validate you (though that's how it seems from other's eyes).

    Honestly there are more cons than pros, but the weight of the pros is what matters. Success with women and the respect of men.

    A couple weeks back I went to a bonfire where my ex and old best friend showed up (they've been dating for over a year now). Whenever we're in the same vicinity everyone holds their breath. I went over to talk to him like an alpha because that's the kind of guy I am: no hard feelings, but I am better than you. We talked about different sh*t, how successful he was becoming even while still in college, which was true. The dude's going to have mad success and will probably end up marrying my ex, but they aren't happy and probably never will be. He asked what I was up to and I said pickup. He said it was a joke, and that just because a guy is good with women doesn't make him a leader of men. To which I said, yeah, coming from the guy who lost all of his friends when he started dating his best friend's (ex) girl. Now you only have each other and are both terribly lonely. He denied it, but they both know it's true. Not everyone at the fire liked him, or even me for that matter, but everyone there did respect me as most people do.

    Things got quiet so I started talking to the girl next to me, who heard our entire conversation. Yes, about pickup. I got her number right in front of my ex. I know she b*tched about it the whole way home.

    So yeah, it's worth it.
    Of course i intended it to be that way.
    yeah your right even though the cons are more than the pro's the latter is more important. I would much rather get seldom blue and respect and women than be a happy idiot whom no one respects and only gets action from his right hand
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Quote Originally Posted by dgmortal View Post
    One of the downsides I feel is over analyzing social situations. the burden of the social mask you mention can wear down an AFC, he will think more before talking/texting to not break the rules of the game( dlv or appear needy/insecure/player etc). the other downside is getting addicted to the help from community to respond in every situation with girls and losing the ability to act on their own.
    Yes i know i've adressed theese two issues overwhelmed and obsession.
    Yeah and you wouldn't beleive the questions i sometimes get asked. Don't get me wrong I love helping out others i really do and in a way it helps me progress but, it's like they want me to give them words that will instantly get the HB's pants off or they want me to analyse a situation that they should'nt have gotten into in the first place. Guys if your in a rut and you've over DLV I can't get you out. I can help put you on the right track when u're starting, ican motivate you when your down, i can help if she has intrest, i can give u awsome first texts and conversation starters, i can help you get through lmr, i can teach you how to get around her deffensive walls HELL! I can teach you how to fuck her but i can't do it for you.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Nice work man!
    That's a great breakdown.

    When I started researching this stuff, I was basically looking for information on "How to win back an ex". But I discovered a LOT MORE.... like a whole new world of information I didn't really know existed.
    So I dove in & studied everything I could find.

    It was definitely an obsession for a couple months. (However, I had plenty of time since I had recently moved into an apt by myself.)

    Luckily I began having success right away & started having real interactions & building a new social circle. Otherwise I might have become addicted to studying PUA material. LOL!!

    But...my philosophy changed from wanting my ex back, to wanting lots of women. (That didn't last long though.)
    After a couple months I realized I just wanted to be the best version of "me" I could be.... and to find ONE special girl to connect with on a deeper level than I ever have.

    But one thing is for sure...
    With every step closer to becoming the Man you want to be, other people DO notice & your life improves in soooo many aspects; NOT "just with women."



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: xavier - What to expect when becoming a pua

    Well I feel the best approach to PUA at the AFC and Aspiring PUA level is to master the inner game. When you adopt PUA, its not about the techniques and lines you throw at girls and your approach...first thing I did was change as much factors as i could in my life to turn it into a more positive stress free enviroment. I moved rooms, lost a few "friends". Then i got back into the gym, got a new hobby- Mixed Martial Arts, i feel it really boosts your confidence and its something fun to talk about, gets the guys to respect you and boosts your overall threat threshold. Started writing poetry, just for the heck of it....

    After making such changes, you really feel like a brand new person bursting with confidence, and being busy and all, you don't exactly get addicted to PUA Forums and theory....you just end up using your game in everything new you are doing without even planning to because so many new things are going on and you're meeting so many new people.

    It all starts in your head, change your state of mind, then change your enviroment to suit it.......then everything just falls into place. UNLEASH THE ALPHA INSIDE!


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