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Thread: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

  1. #1
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    So here goes been in my LTR for 6 months we recently went long distance seeing each other every 2 weeks this was about 2 weeks ago. I have already been to see her at uni and the best freshers night she had was the night I was there (so she told me). Any how I had a sh1t week my mum and sister being in hospital plus a crackhead stabbing me with a needle at work. Spending half a day getting myself checked out at the hospital. (all clear by the way)

    Basically I have messed up I caused an argument saying I didn't want her to join the swim team so we could skype more (yeah i know i should have just let her be what she wanted to be) basically sort of took my anger about the past week out on her not to badly though. Now she wants to break up I said give it time she said no she doesnt want a relationship. I said well the lest you could do is break up with me in person (which she said she would do this Saturday) and she said give her space.

    So over the phone I said to her did anyone tell you what a great guy i was (thinking I got bf destroyed) and she said yeah they did actually so i'm not sure if shes met someone else. Anyway I cried over the phone real beta like all the things ive done for you and sh1t and just give it another chance we wont argue again and shes adamant that she doesn't want a relationship anymore.

    How can I regain my value and sort this out by Saturday?

    I plan on gaming other girls and going out in the mean time but need a second opinion on it? What could I do to get back in there and get my value back. Yeah I know I have oneitis but this is because I have met and games other girls, not because I havent.

    NT

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    All I can relate is because of situations I've been in that have failed and what I should have done in heindsight

    So here's my try

    First and foremost when you meet her you have to be alpha, you MUST
    If you beg for her to stay you've lost it

    Stay alpha, stay calm, talk slowly and confidently

    You can say something like
    "look, I had a horrible week and I was in an insecure mood when I told ya not to join, and was pissy because of it, that wasn't right and it's not me. I like you and I like where this has been going, and I know we are gonna be busier, but it doesn't mean I want to be done"

    You can't apologize any more than that or it will be beta, but obviously you need to explain slightly what happened, and tell her you don't wan it over because you've already told her that, but you must stay strong, secure, and alpha when you do it

    At no point revert to begging, or mass apologizing, or crying
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    All I can relate is because of situations I've been in that have failed and what I should have done in heindsight

    So here's my try

    First and foremost when you meet her you have to be alpha, you MUST
    If you beg for her to stay you've lost it

    Stay alpha, stay calm, talk slowly and confidently

    You can say something like
    "look, I had a horrible week and I was in an insecure mood when I told ya not to join, and was pissy because of it, that wasn't right and it's not me. I like you and I like where this has been going, and I know we are gonna be busier, but it doesn't mean I want to be done"

    You can't apologize any more than that or it will be beta, but obviously you need to explain slightly what happened, and tell her you don't wan it over because you've already told her that, but you must stay strong, secure, and alpha when you do it

    At no point revert to begging, or mass apologizing, or crying
    If I'm honest I have said all this stuff already but when I said it I said it beta plus she just keeps brining up past arguments saying we argue all the time, and it just pushed her away more as to she said "I'm going to break up with you. I don't want a relationship right now." She had her say this before freezed her out for 2 months and she came back this was 6 months ago but we're in different cities now. I think a Freeze Out till Friday as this is time sensitive then when she re-initiates (she most likely will) just be alpha? No crying sh1t. Any more advice feel free to give.

    NT

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    Dandylion - have you been causing miscief agian, jokes jokes i kid,

    Nah umm RB got it. ALpha male usually works, be a little late, say you bumped into someone, look at your phone every now and then and laugh, have some one text you alot and keep it loud, laugh at the texts. face your body language away from her (hips especially) then after ten minutes, change everything i told you, then after about 2 possible 3 minutes, do it all again
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  5. #5
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    As far as we both know its going to end saturday so obviously I don't want that to happen so how should my text game be? Or is it a Freeze Out?

    NT

  6. #6
    V0x
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    Just a word; the only person who boyfriend destroyed you was you. Don't worry about crying or any of the emotional stuff. As long as it's not OTT and constant and totally pathetic, you can get away with it. Vulnerabilities aren't attractive as such but as part of a characteristic they can be. I've got girls back I've cried down the phone too. I've also just been in your situation with a girl at Law School... (Are we the same person?)

    Since you mentioned freshers, I'm guessing she's new to Uni, which means she's much more susceptible to freezing out. She's in a new, unfamiliar place (Hopefully for you she is, anyway.) and she'll be missing home and things from home. Freezing out will have a positive effect. She's also certainly subconsciously shit testing you. She'll be seeing guys and girls hooking up on an industrial level and in all honesty she'll be tempted by the pie and asking 'Is my BF worth keeping?'. Your behavior will answer that question for you. Maintain an alpha frame, as close to the frame you had when you first started dating.

    Peace and good luck.

  7. #7
    Bandit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    I take it your a freshman in college which is why I'm going to tell you...long distance relationships don't work, especially when they're caused by going to different colleges. There's so many new people and new things to do that it just gets overwhelming. Only a very small percent of freshman relationships last past the first few months. So I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with yourself.

    With all the new girls and new opportunities you have at this new college...is she worth it?
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  8. #8
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    BANDIT said it.

    Tyrone1991 agree's ^^^^
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  9. #9
    No Touch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    Well I have been at university for a year anyway it just wasn't that far away. We broke up before because she got jealous about me gaming other girls. Anyway I had another beta moment man called her up trying to explain to her LOGICALLY when obviously women don't think logically. So all she really says to me when I try to talk to her is. "I don't want a relationship" "I don't want a relationship" Constantly constantly. She will pop that line out every opportunity she can get. I read somewhere that when a girl says something over and over again like that it means she does but she is just shy and doesn't want to make the first move. This combined with stubbornness is a serious fuck up though. Any more advice?

    NT

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Think I've been bf destroyed/Losing value.

    You never answered my question
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”


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