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  1. #1
    andro2.0 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    New to this site guys,
    Ive read ALL the books, from The Game to NLP. I know exactly what to say when to say it how to say it. I know how to build rapport, negs, dhv and dlv. Trust me Ive done my homework.
    However, my Approach Anxiety is so bad I cant even run game. I even get too worried to try and game Ive learned in fear that it wont work. I dont know what else to do. I even tried the money technique and gave my wing $200 and only got $20 back... I dont understand why its so hard for me. Im a good looking guy. Muscular, athletic, hell I play a professional sport but yet I cant approach women. What do I do to fix this? Im at a loss.
    Thanks.
    Andro

  2. #2
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    Stop thinking about it and just do! Okay dude honestly the first is the hardest after that you are good. Check some of the threads for treating the Approach Anxiety there are a lot on this subject in the forum. Here is one of many http://www.puaforums.com/how-approac...rejection.html courtesy of T-mal the guy is legit in my opinion. I hope this helps.

    Welcome the forums by the way!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  3. #3
    andro2.0 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pua_wannabe View Post
    Stop thinking about it and just do! Okay dude honestly the first is the hardest after that you are good. Check some of the threads for treating the Approach Anxiety there are a lot on this subject in the forum. courtesy of T-mal the guy is legit in my opinion. I hope this helps.

    Welcome the forums by the way!
    thats just it... im told that alllll the time but idk. i just cant get it through my head.

  4. #4
    Cruze29 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    This is what works for me. I'll talk to anyone. Guy, girl, grandma, grandpa, store clerk, whoever. Just a simple... "hey and a compliment." It kind of prepares my energy. Remember the 3 second rule. The worst that can happen is you forget a couple of scripted lines and just say "hey, I totally forgot what the hell I was going to say while I was walking over here, but I had to meet you." If you get shut down, it's all up hill from there. You can only learn while you're in the valley, not on top of the mountain top. It might help to approach a non HB to practice your scripts and get through the initial anxiety. Maybe make the 3rd approach a HB as you'll have increased your social value from talking to the other 2. As Andro said earlier, you just have to do it. The first one is always the worst, but once it's over I think you'll be surprised.

    I went up to one group of 3 chicks , stated I couldn't stay long, and pulled the truth or dare and are women better liars that men. Well, 2 of 2 were disinterested for the most part. Told them I had to get back with my friends. I left, but I kept a smile on my face despite feeling all this anxiety. Not to mention my ex-wife was in the same bar. So... I happened to lean over when I got back with my friends and there were two hb 6/7 and she caught me looking at her jeans (butt) and played it off and stated "hey, you caught me, I was totall checking out her butt," smiled, they smiled and laughed, and the talked to them for like 20 mins.

    Hope that helps. Just know that you can learn all the lines in the world, but if you don't approach the lines will mean nothing. Try what I said above with the random people. that might pep you up bro. to open a chick you want to.

  5. #5
    Atlas's Avatar
    Atlas is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    Most importantly you need to practice your openers extensively before going out. Don't just think that because you've read it twice that you'll be able to deliver it smoothly on your first attempt. You won't. If you don't believe me go to your bath room mirror right now, make eye contact with yourself a recite the jealous girlfriend.
    Didn't go smoothly did it?
    once you've got two or three crystallized in your memory so that opening your mouth and reciting them more closely resembles, a) getting up and walking to the kitchen, than it does b) summarizing a movie to a friend. (ie. reciting requires absolutely no thought), now work on your posture, facial expressions and voice while saying the lines.
    Now that you've put actual effort into your approach you will be much more enthusiastic about getting out there and doing it, as you have invested your time and energy. In addition you'll be much more confident in your ability to pull it off.
    when you approach just remember to basically shout "hey guys" to get their attention. Don't worry about interrupting their conversation, girls interrupt each other all the time, they're used to it. Besides they talk to each other every day. Their intention is not to pay cover so they can catch up with their girlfriends in a noisy environment. Their intention is to let guys hit on them.
    Don't worry about attraction for now, just focus on mastering opening. This means you should only be in set for a max of 2 minutes before you thank them and move on to the next set. open seven different groups back to back, should only take you 15 minutes, and then reward yourself extravagantly. Very important.
    Other than that just remember to abide by the basics; 3 second rule, smile, false time constraint, and you'll do fine!
    The only other thing I can think of is don't worry about getting a bad reaction. I used to worry about that but the fact is that not only are they very rare, they are also a lot of fun to tell your buddies about later!

  6. #6
    andro2.0 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    Finally some help! haha sounds great both of yall thank you!

  7. #7
    sidewinder89 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    Just think in your head what's the worst that can happen? you really do need to force yourself to do it!

    When you start you will suck! but you have to be prepared for that as you get a lot better with each approach!

    I got my worst response ever on my third approach, slap in the face lol ; ). But after that I figured it can't get any worse.

    Build up to it! When I started I simply started having conversations with random people. It was new year so I opened with "my new years resolution is to talk to ten new people a day" it worked pretty well.

    I only started properly flirting once I was comfortable holding a conversation with a complete stranger in a non-sexual context. It was a big sticking point in my life.

    Now get out there and start sarging!

  8. #8
    Atlas's Avatar
    Atlas is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Overbearing Approach Anxiety

    No prob man! Be sure to post a field report of your first sarge!


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