Ok, I want to completely own this woman's passion and soul. It's not just a friends with benefits I'm after. I call upon any and all experts on making the most of a relationship with a connoisseur (NDR) to put the information on this thread and make this thread something of value to anyone wanting to make the most of relating with this type of woman.
I struggle with her shyness about sex and her making it SO important and having so many specific hoops to jump thru. She has so many conditions it's hard for her to get thru them all herself and open herself up to her own libido let alone guide me thru her labyrinth of conditions.
I really want her chasing me instead of the other way around too. So much of the time she's off in her own private little world of self entertainments and the thing is I know she's not getting the fulfillment she deserves in her life from them, but that's the other thing, her sense of personal deserving isn't really high.
So first question, how do I teach her to make her personal gratification more of a priority? That's its ok to go after what SHE wants and to actually WANT something for herself? That would include making time for personal physical pleasure seeking. She just doesn't make it a priority right now. When she loses her sense of self worth she flounders in all aspects of her life. She just turns into a workaholic. She's made pleasing me so important and investing in me so important that she undermines herself or so it seems to me. It backfires.
My experience is that I can't really get her turned on when she's undermining herself for whatever reason she thinks something else is more important. If she invested 1/10th as much in herself as she does in others her whole life would be transformed. Getting her to do that is like pulling teeth.
Somehow I have to completely restructure the rewards system in her life and find how to push her buttons in the right direction and sequence. I welcome practical suggestions to that end and thanks in advance.