This is a post about something that underlies your skill set. If the skills or method of game you use is the house, then this is surely its foundation.
It's about adopting a philosophy of abundance, and why that's important.
I was first exposed to the concept in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Cove, but the idea predates even the Bible.
Essentially, there are two positions or "philosophies" people tend to have about material things in the universe. (By things I mean money, possessions, cars, friends, women, anything that has a form.)
1. A Philosophy of Scarcity
People who have a philosophy of "scarcity" believe that there's a limited amount of "material things" in the world. They believe there's a limited amount and try to grab as much as they can. If you want to watch this in a practical situation, head to an all-you-can-eat buffet sometime and watch the sparks fly from the serving spoons. You'd think people were eating their last meal. And in some respects they believe they are.You can also watch insecure guys(beta males) stick like white on rice to a set that's practically begging the them to go away. The guys act as if this is their last chance to get laid....ever, and still try to hang on to the set even after being completely blown out.They see everything as scarce. In short supply. Dwindling.
A Philosophy of Abundance
People who have a philosophy of abundance firmly Know that there is plenty to go around, no matter what it is. They're not hoarders because they know there's more where that came from, whatever it may be, and they are aware of how to acquire it. In biblical times, farmers were asked not to cut (harvest) the "corners" of their fields -- there's enough for everyone, so let others have some of yours. They were supposed to leave some for people who didn't have much.More recently, the personal finance expert Suze Orman found that the clients of hers who consistently gave to charity had portfolios that significantly outpaced those of clients who gave little or nothing to others.
I've also observed this myself in politics... in ways that would be a departure from this thread and this Forum if I tried to explain it. But my philosophy over the past few years since I've been apart of the community has been this:
Give it away and it'll come back just like a Boomerang.
How Do You Apply This to Meeting Women?
One of the consistent themes in threads throughout the Forum is the frustration of guys who see a target or set slipping away, and grab desperately at the smoke and fumes to try to get it back.Big mistake.That shows your belief in a philosophy of scarcity It says, to anyone who can perceive it, "I must have this target right now, because they're in short supply! I have to get this one, I just have to!"It's at the core of blown sets and one-itis ... hanging on when you should move on. It's the idea that...
"if I don't get this one, there will never be another."
I know it's strange to see that in text -- because it looks silly sitting out there all by itself. But that's what many of us tell ourselves all the time. Do this simple test: I want you to remember the first girl you ever kissed. For most of us it's easy, right? Because she was the first, you remember everything -- where you were, who she was, what you were feeling, all of the circumstances that surrounded that event in your life.
Now, I want you to try to remember the 5th girl you ever kissed. You can't do it. She's just another thread in the fabric of your life, and your memories, another girl you've kissed. One of many. Not unimportant, just one of many.
The point is that when you adopt a position of abundance regarding women, you realize that there are countless beautiful, sensitive, exotic, funny, smart, serious, secure, and happy women in the world. There are millions, of them, in fact.
After breaking up with my first real girlfriend, I was moping around the house. My grandmother was there and asked me what was wrong. I told her, she said, with a slight Brazilian accent -- "Don't worry about this one girl ... girls are like buses -- if you miss one, another one will be right around the corner."
She was right. And she didn't mean any disrespect to women.
You don't have to grow old before you realize how powerful it is to adopt a position of abundance, not just when it comes to women, but in life. It will change your frame because it changes your values. It changes your life, too, in ways you can't imagine.You won't sweat the next set because you know there are endless sets after that -- as many as you'd like in fact. You won't sweat getting blown out, because you know that while the chicks in that three-set are sitting at that little table laughing in your face, they are but a few people in the whole club or bar, in one club/bar among many in your city, among thousands of cities in this country, in just one country on this big farking planet. They are literally a speck of dust in a huge universe that you've yet to realize.
That moment doesn't mean a thing. Will you or these girls remember that moment in a week, a month, a year, ten years down the road?
With a philosophy of abundance, you'll walk away from that set energized to know that because they weren't the ones for you, the "real" ones are still out there ... you just got another dud out of your system and have come one set closer to finding your dream girl. I'm not advocating thatyou shouldn't work on skills and that you shouldn't have the alpha mentality that you have the ability to fark ANY girl in any set that you approach. You should. But when you have a philosophy of abundance underneath those skills and mindsets, it's like gliding instead of walking along.Don't just apply it to pick-up, or you'll be missing an opportunity to improve -- not change -- who you are. Someone trying to get in front of your car in traffic? Let them. There are studies that show when people let others in front, those people drive more courteously, too. Apparently a philosophy of abundance can be contagious.
Show up at the bar door at the exact same time someone else does? Let them go first. Do it just because you can. There are plenty of other doors to walk through. Look for ways to improve the world with even the smallest of actions or inaction. When you do that, the world will pay you back in abundance. In your social life. Your love life. Your work life. Your whole life.
Abundance is golden.