Hey guys, first post after following PUA advice on and off for many a bit under a year now. Thanks to everyone, you've helped me a lot so far!
My current problem is that I don't understand my purpose in my old friendship group.
I've changed since leaving for university several years ago, but when I'm with my old buddies it seems like I quite quickly revert back to my old self and I hate it. In one to one interactions with them, I feel more in control and myself but when we gather into a group, I feel like I'm reverting.
Something that I've noticed is that I'm holding back on my true, confident and much preferred personality just to fit in with my old 'nerdier' friends. I also noticed that I'm quite self conscious about sounding braggy and tend to be secretive towards them when it comes to jobs, women, etc. It's annoying as it's holding me back and I feel like I'm DLVing myself for no reason. I don't have this problem with my newer friends and feel much more comfortable about myself around them.
So I thought that my problem is that I'm scared of them feeling jealous towards me and what I want to talk about. I keep thinking that they're less successful in these fields and having been a sensitive person myself, don't want to hurt their feelings.
One of my 'friends' (who I don't bother talking to anymore) in the group seems to try hard to AMOG me every time we're with the others and I've concluded that he's just jealous of certain things about me and sees my potential as a threat. I don't like hostility and I want my buddies to feel good around me, not jealous or defensive and I shouldn't have to engage in a power struggle each time.
So what is the Mindset of coping in this group of males, should I just assume more of a leadership role and use my knowledge from an advisory angle? But then unless I'm advising confidently , I just feel like I'm being too humble and DLVed but I feel less guilty about potentially hurting their feelings.
Obviously I'm a little confused about male social dynamics
Do I be more of an awesome dude and stop holding back or is it better to just be the nice guy? As a group we don't go on nights out or even hang out with women, so I'm not quite sure how I should be behaving and what I'm trying to achieve. Once I understand what my purpose is, it might help me carve out an approach that feels natural.
Thanks in advance for any useful feedback, you guys are awesome