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Thread: Narcissism VS. Being humble

  1. #1
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Narcissism VS. Being humble

    Ok, so I've always been slightly narcissistic, but apparently with my new found reality it has gotten worse. A friend of mine I hadn't seen in 3 weeks pointed it out. It can't be too terrible to be this way cuz we still had fun later that night. My question is are there pros & cons to being humble and/or being narcissistic? Is there something i need to watch myself doing since i am becoming narcissistic? So far, i don't see a problem with it, lol, but that could be my brain saying, "Don't change homie! It's working."
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  2. #2
    Az007 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    it'll only be a problem if it starts affecting all areas of your life and all you think about is how you can gain something from any given situation and what's in it for you. it's good to be slightly narcissistic (called cocky) as long as you do it with a devilish grin/ smile. Everything is to be done in moderation buddy.
    Az

  3. #3
    Beedlejuice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    Narcissism is good when you have passion and ambition for something. For example, I tell women that I am going to be a God at (insert subject). Then I give a devious grin. I met this artist girl, and I tried to draw a realistic photo of a famous painter, and it didn't come out that well. I said to her... "I am going to become a God at painting, you'll see!"

    I've gotten better, and now I am tagging her every weekend.
    So I mixed being humble with great confidence and narcissism.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    True narcissism is an illness and it's a terrible personality trait to have. A real narcissist will never have any real, long lasting relationships because he can't feel sympathy or empathy. Further, a narcissist will never grow and become a better person because he lacks the ability to be critical of himself and be self-reflective.

    Being cocky is not narcissism. Cocky is a state of being, whereas narcissism is a personality trait. Confidence is not narcissism. Some of the most confident people in the world are also the most humble.

    IMO the person with the greatest inner game has no need to be cocky or narcissistic. If you are fully and completely comfortable with who you are this will radiate from you. This is the most attractive man, one who does not need to tell others he is great. The truely confident man freely gives social value to others, whereas the narcissist is constantly looking to take social value from others.

    Being a narcissist is a disease and it is not something PUAs or anyone should aspire to.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  5. #5
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    Narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic self love are two different things.

    Merriam-Webster Search for iPhone

    Narcissistic personality disorder - MayoClinic.com

    Just because words have a negative connotation doesn't necessarily mean they're negative. Like the word, "manipulate."
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  6. #6
    fleetersamuelli is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    narcissism is no bueno - you should go do something that you will fail at to re-set your ego.

  7. #7
    The Elitist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    Ok, so I put forth some thought toward this and tried some different things.. When you give your self narcissistic traits your ego begins to identify with that, making it harder for you to learn and try new things, while being humble and admitting that you aren't the best at anything and could always learn new things helps you in take a lot more value.

    On the inner fulfillment side, if you like where you are at in life right now, it's ok to have narcissistic traits, if you are still trying to make yourself better and forever seeking bettering yourself, being humble is the better idea.
    Caveat: Just because I feel a certain way about my journey doesn't mean you should feel the same about yours.

    If you can't say that you would rather die than not do it; you don't want it bad enough.

  8. #8
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Smile Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    There is a very fine line here. I want to tell a quick story from my personal experience (as I always do).

    I was dating a girl out of my league. We worked together. I was making a steak for her table. I handed her the steak and said "here, this should do it". She glared at me and said she wanted it right. I told her "it is right...sometimes you just have to have faith". She laughed and told me it was kind of hard when I said things like that. She was referring to "that should do it".

    Moral of the story, I showed a lack of belief in myself. There would have been nothing wrong with being a little less humble and saying "here you go, it is perfect" because I actually knew that was the best I could do.

    There is a very fine line between cocky and confident and it requires calibration, which requires failures. She showed me something I had never noticed before, but other women have. Shew knew me well enough to know that I do believe in myself, but she felt the need to bring that observation to light because she saw the need to make that investment in me, and it is something I have been working on.

    So make sure your friend is using the right word, ask him to validate his observation, and perhaps even lightly challenge it (don't over do it you will just reinforce his observation). He may think that because you have a different perception and you go after what you want that you are a narcissist. I have self esteem issues but my female friends always talk about how big my head is. Truth be told, most of them just can't cope with my new found belief in myself.

    When I KNOW that I'm cute and fun to be around and that people enjoy my company, I'm in a better mood. I'm happier. I'm attractive, despite my physical appearance. That doesn't make me cocky. That doesn't mean I'm full of myself. That only means that from their cues both verbal and non verbal I know I'm an awesome dude, which helps me reinforce that belief into myself.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    Its ok to be into yourself and say so. But dont overdo it. It does help show your cocky side and will make you stand out. Just dont act too serious about it. You can either be nonchalant about it or cocky funny. But it does help to do it.

    Let's face it... most every guy acts nice and never says anything cocky about himself. He tries to be humble. So humble that it gets boring. Being cocky once in awhile shakes things up. It also plants ideas in a women's head. If you say "because im awesome" in a funny way, she may roll her eyes. But if you have been doing well gaming her, than you just supplemented any good feelings she has about u. Verbalizing a women's feelings is very powerful. Most guys would never attempt it for fear of being rejected.

  10. #10
    linking is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Narcissism VS. Being humble

    I love the 'because I'm awseome' line. I use it if a woman is being awkward about something just to shrug it off. For example
    HB: where are we going?
    Me: back to mine
    HB: really? Why would I do that?
    Me: because I'm awseome (said in a sorta 'isn't that obv' tone) come on

    Generally the responses you get are then either 'haha your funny (and comes with you)' or 'haha your funny but it's not happening' so even if she doesn't come with you its still high value and you just carry on building attraction this is why I like cocky funny as opposed to just being arrogant. If it gets turned down then it's just a joke

    Linking x


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