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  • 2 Post By Xmrider
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Thread: Rejections are not a bad thing

  1. #1
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Rejections are not a bad thing

    I am just wondering at times when I read a request for help and the replies are to move onto the next one or she is not worth your time.
    Most of the time I do agree that it is not worth the effort and that there are nicer girls around. But don't you think that at times we say next too easily?!

    There are girls which are really not worth the effort and when we do say to move on quite often the AFC does not listen, goes after her, gets rejected, gets depressed, etc.

    However persistence done in the right does pay off at times. Now of course the girl might not be relationship material, but trying to crack a nut can be at times a useful experience even if you get rejected (as long as you can deal with rejections).

    Myself... even when I know that I do not want anything from a girl I still go for it for the experience to improve on my skills. This way
    a) I know how even the toughest girls play
    b) I have had quite a few rejections, but having had them makes me care less to future rejections.
    c) Easy girls, are no fun. I like the challenge. Tell me something is impossible and that motivates me (ok this is my own personality so it does not apply to everyone, and I am not yet willing to have an LTR)
    d) Hardly anything surprises me these days so practically I guess I can deal with any situation


    It is good that here on this forum you get advice to move on, but some people really need to go through the learning phase. Like a child being told by the parent not to touch the hot stove cause it will get burned. It still does it, but the learns (or at least hopefully learns).


    Lets look at this the other way. Guy meets girl, everything is going ok but then problems arise. Guy writes on this forum. We tell the guy next. He goes for next in fear of rejection. Finds another easy target, gets her and really has not learned much of PUA.


    I might have learned it the hard way as I was not a member of a forum before, nor did I have anyone to mentor me. But honestly trying to get something out of hopeless situations gave me a lot of experience. Sure I was depressed at times after a rejection, but now after so many rejections not anymore.

    Some of you will say that this forum is there to help AFCs, for them to avoid the mistakes and do what is right which I totally agree to. Just that some need to make those mistakes to learn from them and some need to get rejections for them not to fear rejections.
    Make the impossible possible!

  2. #2
    makaveli0130 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Rejections are not a bad thing

    I agree that being persistent through rejection will sharpen a guys skills. However, I think that many attractive women take for granted the effort and amount of non reciprocated giving it requires in order to even keep a girl interested. They seem to write guys off too easily and flake without caring about a guys feelings. Women like this typically aren't worth my time, and in this case, I reject THEM by moving on.

  3. #3
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Rejections are not a bad thing

    Well said XM. I agree with you, it can only be a good thing to practice practice practice. Like any skill in life. You also learn the most about things at the worse of times, not the best. You learn more about yourself when you are challenged and being rejected, etc. Takes a strong dude to do what you do though. It's easier said than done for most.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  4. #4
    KingDaVinci's Avatar
    KingDaVinci is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Rejections are not a bad thing

    What you don't want to forget is that women test, and test, and test some more. One test that 9s and 10s like to give is to reject a man to see if he's just like the 99 other AFCs that tuck their tails and walk away or is man enough to pass her test and not put up with her bs. Most of the time, these women aren't even consciously aware that they're doing this.

    For example, to make a long story short, one of the hottest women I ever laid eyes upon did this very thing. While outside on the back patio of a bar, I saw her, without hesitating, I sat down next or her and her friends at a table, as an opener I said "sorry Im late guys, traffic was terrible! you at least could have waited for me before ordering your,drinks." The girls laughed except for her, she grabbed her purse that was in front of me, rudely turned her back towards me, and pretended to be pissed. I KNEW deep down she was intrigued. I whispered to her friends, is she always this sweet, and I was in. Within 20 minutes, everyone had left the table except her and I. I kept teasing, busting on her, sending mixed signals, and she couldn't keep her hands off of me. To top it off, I did NOT ask for her number as she hugged me goodbye. I dont know why but something told me she would be back. She ended up having her friend track me down on Facebook because she doesn't have a profile. To give you an idea of just how gorgeous she is, her friend told me that she had been asked out by 4 other guys the night her and I went on our first date, she chose me. Why? I'm willing to bet that 50% of the reason is because I passed her rejection test and those other guys did not.

    I tell this story because it's just one example of how women can test you by seeing how you handle her initial rejection. It doesn't mean this will always happen, but if you initially get rejected and she isn't too bitchy in the process, KEEP YOUR COMPOSURE, and play her rejecting you off as cute. Have it in your head that there is no such thing as a woman rejecting YOU. You'll be amazed of how well it works and how much attraction it sparks.

  5. #5
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Field report: Rejections are not a bad thing

    Quote Originally Posted by makaveli0130 View Post
    I agree that being persistent through rejection will sharpen a guys skills. However, I think that many attractive women take for granted the effort and amount of non reciprocated giving it requires in order to even keep a girl interested. They seem to write guys off too easily and flake without caring about a guys feelings. Women like this typically aren't worth my time, and in this case, I reject THEM by moving on.
    field report:
    Just yesterday I met a girl that I talked to on the phone over 2 weeks ago through meeting online. As we do live in different towns (around 80kms apart) it is not that easy to meet. So we agreed to not to push for a date, but when one of us would be close by to call and then to meet up. Knowing that I was going to drive by her town I texted her the day before yesterday to meet up. She replied that she would not have time. I then texted her that I would not know when I would be the next time close to her town so I will insist that she should visit me. A little later she wrote back that she will change her schedule to have time.
    So yesterday during the day I texted her that I would be late for our date and that I would call her to tell her when I can make it.
    Got out of a meeting and called her. She said that she texted me to postpone our date to a later date (received the text only after our tel convo cause I was out off network coverage during my biz meeting) as I would be most probably tired driving the whole day. I told her that I am fine, and so we did meet up.

    How flaky does that get? I kept my frame and was persistent never showing neediness. Remember that some flakes are shit tests!

    Next point:
    When we did meet yesterday she mentioned that she had been to my town, so I asked why she had not gotten in touch. She said that kind of wrote me off as I hadn't been in touch with her for 1 and half weeks. I told her that that is a very short period and now she has a minus in my books and that she would have to make it up to me now. I told her that it is now her to turn to come to my town. Did some push pull and told her that I am not that easy. Today I get a text that she will on thursday afternoon in my town and would like to meet up. I replied that I can meet only after 6PM as I am busy before that. She then wrote back that she will have to see whether she can meet me later on.
    After the date and her text I know now that I can f close her. However I do not know if I want to. She is like the beauty and the beast in one regarding her looks If the she has a serious face she is an HB8, but when she smiles she is a 4. I have never met someone that looks so f-ugly when smiling. Not that she bad teeth, but her eyebrows change... kind of go up and her cheek bones expands. I have never met anyone previously where there is such a drastic change in looks from one moment to another.

    Concluding:
    Flakes can be shit tests.
    Writing you off means that either she has something else going on in her life or you have not caused enough attraction previously, but it can be undone.

    How to deal with this is to give her a taste of her own medicine or give it some time before you go for her again. Always maintain your frame, stay alpha and never show neediness.

    Quote Originally Posted by makaveli0130 View Post
    ..........many attractive women take for granted the effort and amount of non reciprocated giving it requires in order to even keep a girl interested.....
    That is true, but turn it around. Use their weapons agains them. Tell her to keep you interested. Nag on her about her being boring. Be a challenge.
    I get girls (not as often as I would wish ) to come round to my place and clean my flat. Do the ironing. Or when I am hungry I call and ask them to cook a specific dish for me. Basically I get them to invest and I do not reciprocate always (definetly never when they demand it). At times when I want to fuck them then I tell them that for the nice thing that they did to me that we will fuck. They think that sex is a reciprocation from my side.
    Remember that this can only happen when you have caused enough attraction in the first place.
    Make the impossible possible!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Rejections are not a bad thing

    Mistakes build character. And going through the process of making those mistakes makes you a better PUA. So I completely agree that too many times has it been suggested that guys just next women. At this point everyone does that now so why not stick in there a little longer. Especially if you have free reign to try a new technique since you have nothing else to lose. I feel as long as she is not verbally telling you "I'm not interested" then you have the ok to keep going. (Unless it's within the first 20 min lol. We know those don't count.)

    KingDaVinci has a great story. She had her "Bitch Shield" up which most guys don't pass. That is her SCREENING process because no matter how much we would like society to flip on it's side, women are always going to be the natural sexual choosers. We only learn to flip those roles during the interaction. So most guys fail that simple little test and BAM she doesn't have to worry about them because they walk away with their tails between their legs. It works for most guys so that's what she'll keep doing.

    Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. The experience is burned into our minds so we will never forget the lesson. It was only when making mistakes that I realized that I can NEVER have the perfect game where I don't "screw up." Only if I treat it as such. I found that it's not so much about messing things up with her, but how you handle it. Do you apologize constantly and make things awkward, or do you shrug your shoulders and say "Hey, I'm not perfect and sometimes I'm an asshole. That's life." ??
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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