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  1. #1
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    Hello Guys,

    First of all I would like to say that after reading quite a few guides from here countless times I am still quite new to all the PUA stuff.

    Anyway I have searched for a relevant topic, but unfortunately I couldn't find what I'm about to ask. Before I go any deeper, here's a short story about myself.

    I am 23 and I am from Poland, I moved to the UK 8 years ago without any knowledge of the language. Managed to get through schools and got a bachelor of arts degree. In the meantime I was enjoying student life almost to the maximum, slept with around 15 girls about 12 of them was English. Anyway, then I met my ex(polish girl) been with her for two years, moved for her to Leicester, it stopped working so we broke up. I hardly know anybody in Leicester, found a decent job but that's about it. My social life is almost dead outside of work which probably makes me quite a boring person

    And here I am back in the game, though I feel a little bit lost. Thank to puaforums I have managed to get going a few conversations on POF, and although not got any numbers yet and dates, I am enjoying the conversations and they seem to do so as well, or Im just thinking they are.

    Here's my profile description from pof:

    my interests: film, graphics, photoshop, 3d modelling, architecture, history, technology, computers, football, sports, travelling,

    I moved to Leicester to work as a Developer/Graphic Designer and I really like my current job, however in the near future I would like to have my own Graphic Design Studio.

    I am independent. I do things on my own, the way I want and so far it loving it, but I also do take other people words into consideration if they have a good argument of course. I am an easy going, friendly, ambitious guy with good manners and gentleman attitude. I'm really down to earth, so I do take important things seriously, but on the other hand I get entertained way too easily

    If you want to know more, just get in touch
    I am not a shy person, quite the opposite really, laid back and relaxed but also trustworthy, responsible, reliable and what's probably a downside for girls, a bit too serious, and perhaps naive and impatient, I do tend to think people are nice, they dont wanna hurt you and play you, even though I know its not true I kind of find it hard to think that way.

    I've used a chat up line, got the conversation going, but sooner or later it starts to run out of topics once we get through all the what do you do, what do you like etc things. how can I learn to banter and Bullsh1t basically when I am a very open and honest person and find it hard to take the piss out of somebody for fun.
    I am not a native English man, my sense of humour is a bit different than all the guys/girls around here, which means that not speaking English perfectly, not knowing some funny/clever words puts me in quite a disadvantaged position. Is there a way to overcome this somehow? learn it?


    The above probably isnt structured very well, so please forgive me, trying my best

    Any help, guidance, basically anything would be highly appreciated.


    Thank you

  2. #2
    s0ft's Avatar
    s0ft is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    from the experience I remembered 2 things which possibly will help you:

    1. in Russian it sounds similar to this phrase "power topics"

    what is it?
    subjects for conversation on which you can speak more than 20 minutes without stopping.
    f/example (me):
    i can speak 20+ min about:
    cooking, computers, start business, travels, life in St. Petersburg, about my childhood, about Israel and Hungary, about swimming, running, about my clubs events, sex, dreams, about learning English (yeah it is actually for me), about banking system (my profession), psychology and gypnosys, about study and universitet, about space. funny cases in my life.

    result: i have 18 power topics

    common topics:
    cookery
    dreams
    travel
    funny cases
    childhood
    unusual hobbies
    dreams
    sex

    write your list of power topics (15+ items)
    and build your conversation line near of your topics. Many of these can not be pleasant for your girl. therefore you must to have the big list of topics on which you can freely talk.

    if u have less than 10 power topics, excuse me, but u are not interesting person.

    2. next way is mute date
    you are must be mute all date! No one word from your mouth to your girl.

    u can write phrases on your phone or sheets, better to show words hands or movements. include the imagination!

    You try it, then criticize!


    ______________

    really i don't know what u want, but i hope that could help you

  3. #3
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    thanks mate

    I know what you're saying. I can talk for ages about different things, but I'm not too good at talking banter so girls laugh and banter as well.

    I do often get a feeling when talking to girls on POF for example that they are simply not interesting from the character point of you, physically only, so its extremely hard to hold a decent conversation with them.


    I dont quite get the 2nd point '

    you are must be mute all date! No one word from your mouth to your girl.'

    could you explain please

  4. #4
    s0ft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    sorry for my English…

    I will try to explain what is a mute date with girls:

    you shouldn't say words during the date!
    you can talk to other people (waiters, taxi drivers, etc.), but no one word to your girl.
    only to write phrases or to show gestures.

    Its ok?

    she can talk to you at the top of the voice)))

    Yes, she may ask u "why are you silent?".

    I usually answer (write) with this phrases:

    I am hurt by a throat, but very much wanted to see you
    you were late for 5 (1,2… …15) minutes and today I won't talk to you

    think up the reason for yourself)

    try 2-3 mute dates (w/different girls) till Wednesday then you will tell us what was interesting and what you understood, ok?
    Sorry for my English!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    Wednesday is today.

    whts new?
    Sorry for my English!

  6. #6
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    today is wednesday.

    im quite busy first of all but got a few numbers and will slowly try to meet up with them

  7. #7
    s0ft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    u r right! i was lost in time!)))


    admit to yourself honestly: you were really busy, what couldn't allocate a couple of hours?

    to spend some hours in FB or to look the TV more important?

    if you were really occupied with an important and useful occupation, it is good! but it happens in FB or TV in 90% of cases … don't deceive yourself

    will slowly try
    why slowly?

    U can appoint all dates to this weekend.
    3 dates per day it is normal)
    Sorry for my English!

  8. #8
    cesar3003 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by s0ft View Post
    u r right! i was lost in time!)))


    admit to yourself honestly: you were really busy, what couldn't allocate a couple of hours?

    to spend some hours in FB or to look the TV more important?

    if you were really occupied with an important and useful occupation, it is good! but it happens in FB or TV in 90% of cases don't deceive yourself

    why slowly?

    U can appoint all dates to this weekend.
    3 dates per day it is normal)
    i was busy at work and with personal stuff im afraid. dont watch tv and rarely on fb cuz its boring..


    why slowly?

    because I have only seen like 1-2 girls on pof that were actually attractive in physical and mental way, and i was talking to them but after a few days they've deleted profiles and didnt get a chance to take their number.. currently Im mainly talking to girls just to banter etc but to find a girl in Midlands UK you can have a really nice chat with followed by a date is like winning a lottery...so in 99% cases I just back off, cuz I simply find them not worth the effort. Met with two nice girls but they both wanted relationship and thats not what I want so we're still talking and will probs see eachother at some point.

    3 dates per day? are you talking about a date that lasts like 5 mins or 10? if its a date where I will see them for the first time, then I want to get to know them a little which takes at least 2-3hours to get a rough idea, so one is definitely enough at the time being we will see how it goes

  9. #9
    s0ft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Go around a language barrier? learn to banter? fancy talk?

    i talking about a date that lasts about 1 hour. I think to spend 4 hours in weekend on dates is good intensive training (if you have 4-5 hours of free time)

    why 1 h?
    in 1 hour you won't be in the friend-zone and it is enough this time well to communicate
    Sorry for my English!


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