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  • 2 Post By Yolo007
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Thread: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

  1. #1
    Yolo007's Avatar
    Yolo007 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    I thought this would be a cool thread to start and hear how everyone one else has benefited from pick up. If we get some good stories maybe admin will lock it in the begainner's area to encourage the new guys. So I'll Start.

    My story:
    I have always been really good with flirting it was just always natural to me but I got into this stage where I would just from one oneitis to the next never getting anywhere with women. After about three years of this I got fed up and told myself I needed to become better with women. I started searching the internet for help until I stumbled upon this very fourm. I started reading every thread I could in order to get out of this beta behavior. Shortly after I stopped having oneiti (plural I think ) but that was just the tip of the iceburg. I read all the advice from the best on these fourms and knew exactly how be a Master PUA... but knowing and doing are two different things. Even with all this knowledge I wasn't getting much better besides the fact that I no longer had oniti. One day I came across a thread on inner game and started reading into it, which was when I realized without this none of the other shit mattered. So I forgot about all the other stuff I learnt (for the time being) and started working on my inner game. Until a few months ago my inner game wasn't near a level where I could start using all the other information I learnt before. Since then every weekend is better than the last with closes and interactions!

    My personal tip to anyone and everyone: "Inner game is #1" Im a scrawny dude which was the root of my terrible inner game, but as your inner game grows you start to see shit like that isn't important and when you can truely appreaciate yourself then and ONLY then is when you will start to be sucessful in Pick Up.
    In life you get what you put into it.

  2. #2
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    I'd essentially echo everything said in the OP

    Before Game/PUA I was genuinely clueless. I heard the "confidence" and the "be yourself" speech a million times and it never made any sense. Still need a lot of experience but in the end it all comes down to inner game and just not caring (to an extent). Havent mastered it, but its certainly coming along

  3. #3
    Yolo007's Avatar
    Yolo007 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    Quote Originally Posted by Swish View Post
    I heard the "confidence" and the "be yourself" speech a million times and it never made any sense.
    This brings up a great point. Before I never understood any of the advice people would give me. They would say do this or that "but why?". Now I understand why certain things work and why others didn't. There is a small percentage who are naturals and have solid game without understanding the mechanics however majority of us have to know why were told to do a certain thing.
    In life you get what you put into it.

  4. #4
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    Quote Originally Posted by Yolo007 View Post
    This brings up a great point. Before I never understood any of the advice people would give me. They would say do this or that "but why?". Now I understand why certain things work and why others didn't. There is a small percentage who are naturals and have solid game without understanding the mechanics however majority of us have to know why were told to do a certain thing.
    Easily one of the most influential things I picked up was a video by mystery about how guys gain confidence through competence.

  5. #5
    Zeeman646 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    Here's my story:

    When I was a freshman in high school, a girl in my class and I started dating. This was my very first serious girlfriend, she was beautiful, and I was completely infatuated with her. Now I'm a big guy. I play offensive line (american football) in college, which has helped me build a big upper body, and the gut that I do have (which has also been shrunk due to working out) isn't as unsightly because of my muscle mass... HOWEVER, I was one chubby kid in my early high school years. Because of that, my confidence wasn't very high at all. I believed that I would never get any girl as pretty as her, because I believed myself to be unattractive. I believed that i just got lucky and struck gold.

    We ended up dating for 3 1/2 years. From the time I was 14 til the time I graduated high school, She was all I ever known, as far as intimate relationships go. At that point, She was the only girl I ever kissed, had sex with ect. Because she was all I ever known, I was clingy, jealous, and insecure. This led me to being dumped, and I was crushed. She moved on and started being intimate with other guys almost immediately. I had no such luck. I SUCKED with women. I had girls that liked me, but my lack of self confidence wouldn't bring me to believe it, and I would never go anywhere with a girl. I would never show interest, because I was afraid that I would creep them out, or she would go "eww, no! never!". And even then, it was by luck that they liked me. I didn't know how to talk to a girl the right way. I was so nervous all the time, my words would never come out right. And often times, I just never talked to them.

    I never believed I would get another girl as attractive as her. And since I refuse to date a woman who I view as unattractive, I figured I would either get lucky and find someone, or just be single. I saw myself as fat and unattractive. I was so far in AFC land, it was scary.

    I went the rest of my senior year in high school without getting laid, a kiss... I didn't even have a date to my senior prom! And the funny thing is, I was considered a "popular kid" in high school. Everyone knew me, and now, looking back on it, i had attractive girls that liked me. I was just too far in to my lack of confidence to realize that other girls DID like me.

    So i graduated, and went off to college immediately, going to first summer session, taking classes and training with the team. Still not getting anywhere with my self confidence issues, or with women.

    It was when I went home for my July break that i got fed up with it. I got on my computer, and looked up these exact words "how to attract women". You know what came up as one of the first results? these forums. I began reading everything I could find. Guides, videos, ect. Then, I picked up Style's book "The Game" and read it. That's when i realized... I am a high value male. All I have to do is show it in my actions, the way i talk ect. I was capable of attracting women, and keeping them attracted. When i read about ioi's, i began to realize the girls in highschool that were attracted to me. How my own lack of self confidence has been holding me back. I knew I needed to change the way I viewed myself. Reading the articles on here, watching the videos, all of that stuff helped me over come that.

    My ex dumped me almost a year ago, and I joined these forums 6 months ago (as of the time of writing), and since then my self confidence has soared. I can approach sets now, and get them interested. I know i'm a high value male, and can demonstrate that to women now. I can ATTRACT women, and KNOW that they are attracted. I will never again let go of a women whos attracted to me because of my own confidence issues. And my ex? she's no longer the only girl i've ever "known". Thats always a plus

    And what comes with the confidence i gained with women, moves to other areas of my life as well. I am no longer shy when meeting new people. I can look people in the eye, talk to them with confidence, and just be an overall likable guy.

    These forums have changed my self confidence, my skills with women, my life more than anyone would realize.

    to anyone having trouble approaching, take this advice:
    For me, all it took was one. Once i forced myself to approach my first set, it became easier and easier everytime. The aa is still there, but it is not near as strong as it once was. Force yourself to do the approach, you will thank yourself later.

    Hope this wasn't too long. I feel terrible every time i write a novel on here. But i hope you enjoyed my story, and i hope it inspires a newcomer to go out there and change his life for the better!

  6. #6
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    My story (and hopefully an inspiring one to you all):

    I am what you called a late bloomer, coming from what I call a chump upbringing. I call it an AFC upbringing because that's how I was unintentionally raised as.

    I grew up in a sheltered upbringing. Strict Chinese mother who placed high value on education and getting good grades over all else. She forbade any relationships during high school and even went as far as sending me to a Catholic all boy school. She figured I didn't need to worry because if I have a good job like being a doctor who has money, I can get women. *Roll eyes*

    She later had the gall to say that her son is shy. (Gee I wonder why)

    I got further emasculated when she tried to hook me up to girls by putting me on the spot "Jxxx, come, come, meet some girlies!"
    *FYI - this is a fine example on how not to raise your son unless you want to turn him into a queer*

    Suffice to say, I lacked social skills and was clueless with women. If there was any chump who made every mistake, it was me. This is how bad it got: My first dance, 3 girls asked me to slow dance because they thought I looked attractive enough (lucky!). All 3 girls, all I did was slow danced WITHOUT saying a single word, no introductions, nothing. At the end, the girls said 'thanks' left and probably thought I was weird. I still laugh and kick myself over this.

    Back when I was in HS, there was no cellphones and no internet. So information was pretty much limited to libraries. That didn't help my cause. I thought the best way to get women was to be the nice guy, be the knight in shining armor riding in on a high horse., treat them like princesses, buy them flowers, gifts...I might as well travel back in time or buy a harlequin novel and call it bible.

    In college, I got struct with oneitis over one hot girl for 3 years. I made the chump mistake of sending her gifts without her knowing who I was. Ended up creeping her out. Her friends thought I was creepy, but my high value friends was what saved me. My buddy was great at attracting women - a natural who can make them laugh and show them a good time. He even had the hottest girl on campus HB10 (who turn heads and cause accidents) hang out with us because she thought he was fun. When he confided in me that some girls are saying "Why are you even hanging out with xxxx, you guys don't even seem the right type, he backed me by saying "because he's my friend." That was one moment of wakeup call, but I was still in self-denial, thinking I can be like him if I put my mind to it. Deep inside, I wanted to do something, but had no resources. No leads. No internet existed yet. Male ego prevented me from asking advice from any other guys who were successful. I wanted to learn on my own.

    Later in college, a hot girl who was the gf of a baseball player showed interested. I did everything AFC, the nice guy, paid for meals, drove her around because I was afraid of losing that rapport I never had with a hot girl. Turned out I got played and she was only using me to copy homework and study tests with. That was the ultimate wake up call that something had to be done. There were nasty man-eating women around preying on nice guys and I needed to protect myself. It was embarassing, I was pissed, and I was not going to let that happen ever again.

    I wanted to find out that big "why?" Why fugly guys were getting hot women. What did I do to deserve this?

    After college, I moved out of state to start fresh. Upon residing in LA, my looks helped and comedic talent gave me social value and helped me attract women from acting class, but I didn't have the PUA knowledge to keep them interested and being picky didn't help.

    Before "Mystery method" innovated the PUA, I had to do my own research and learned some basics of confidence. I had to spend most of my years RECODING myself by overwriting all the bad crap and working on innergame without overcompensating for arrogance. It worked. I was able to attract women on film sets while other men came off as creeps but I still didn't have enough in my arsenal. Missing escalation skills.

    Then later, network marketing training and sales training helped with aspects of overcoming the fear of rejection.

    When ebooks on PUA came out, I engorged myself in knowledge and decided on making the transformation. I started practicing on strippers. If I can Number Close them as a customer, I know I'm on a good track.

    So in the end, how did PUArts helped me? Well, I look at it as the same as learning martial arts. A physically weak person who doesn't have a size advantage who always gets bullied and picked on, picking up a skill set and is able to fvck up guys x2s his size who tries to mess with him. Conversely, in terms of the Venusian arts, I was that socially inept meek guy women find unattractive at the core to attracting women just with confidence and a learned skill set.

    Some people are fvcked up because of abused upbringing, well I was socially inept from an AFC upbringing. So if you think you got it bad, heh. I was better off being neglected. But rather than blaming parents, I had to take the initiative of re-transforming myself.

    My PUA knowledge and experience spans over 15 years. Today I still am fighting the good fight because my line of work is anti-PUA. Writing requires solitude, solitude breeds introvertism. A good way to dull your wit (your mental dexterity). So it's like going out training your dexterity with juggling one month, and the next month laying in bed shooting yourself with anti-atropy drugs in a clinical test trial.

    Bottom line, despite all these challenges, if I can do it, I think any AFC can too if they have the desire to put forth the effort. And it's a worthwhile endeavor because the art of attraction is a life-long skill that is highly leverageable in all aspects of your life - it will help you increase your network of contacts (your networth is equal to your network), get better jobs, and of course date hotter women.

  7. #7
    Banners90's Avatar
    Banners90 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    Zeeman646 I know your struggles. I've never been skinny always had a bit of meat on me. At my heaviest I was buying XL clothing, 38' waist jeans and weighing close to 16 stone. I am now 3.4 stone lighter and healthier (apart from the booze and cigs ) but that is another story...

    ****

    I remeber the exact night I investigated 'Game.' Was out at late night bar my friend had attracted a girl HB8. I moved in and just couldn't get anywhere with her.
    Later in the night a Natural friend of mine mentioned 'The Game' to me (this Natural I had only recently discovered has actually read it, even though he said 'a mate' of his read it.) I read it and found it all fascinating.

    Few months pass, I don't really use it much. I get a number develop severe oneitis for her. Got farked up terribly by her. Since early January I have started reading and posting on this forum. Picked up some kool tips and tricks. Not to mention the Text game articles, absolute life savers.

    In the last 3 - 4 weeks I have managed to K-Close two hot girls, N-close one of them and N-close another. If you compare that to 2012, I didnt manage to do half as much as that in the entire year of 2012. I now try and venture out at least once a week and at the very least talk to random birds. It is my absolute minimum now.
    PER ARDUA AD ALTA

  8. #8
    fleetersamuelli is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Share how Pick Up has changed your life

    the key to having good ' game' is overcoming whatever you view as your main weakness.


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