Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
Like Tree5Likes

Thread: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with girls?

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with girls?

    Every time I don't make a move I can't help but feeling haunted by the idea of "what could have been".
    It becomes worse if I see the girl ending up with someone else.

    Just as an example, tonight (just for information, it's morning here but since 11:30 I've only had 4 beers.. OK, for those who don't drink it's no that few, but what I wanted to say is that since it's now 5:30 this post is not an alcohol-induced rant).

    This cute red-headed was standing close to me with her female friend. They were obviously on the prowl. She was a bit taller than I am (not difficult as I'm short) but not much and she was wearing heels.
    She was looking at me several times and, I believed, giving some nice IOIs.

    I waited, and not much because I was shy, but because I wanted to wait for a better opportunity (a guy had just approached her and I didn't want to go too soon giving the feeling of "here it comes another one", and I was also hoping her friend would have left her alone for a second) and thinking that by standing there all cool I was "playing the prize and the cool guy". Once a friend came to talk to me and showed me upstairs to get a drink, I followed him, thinking I'd introduce myself to her later and believing that with my snubbing I was DHVing her (this guy is one of those dancer with the moves, always present in the club and very popular).

    But later.... She was with a guy, and later than that she was making out with the guy. And later than that she left with the guy.

    Now:
    -On a romantic level, I have a quite good prospect with a good looking girl and very good prospect lined up;
    -On a work level, I have a fixed term contract expiring in less than one and a half month and, in spite of giving me slightly more than 50% chances I'll be able to get a new contract, I have no offer and no serious prospect so far , which is obviously very farm from an ideal situation in crisis-stricken Europe.

    So I'm not that desperate on a romantic level and I would have something quite serious to worry about on the working front.
    And what is the bane of my life?
    Not having made a move on a girl
    I'm not even sure e I was going to be successful with. As far as I know she could have very easily given me the could shoulder.

    And still, what torture me, as often happens... Is not having tried, not having the comforting certitude I did my best (or at least just tried something).
    If I had gone there and been blown out, I'd be fine.

    I don't think this is good for me and I don't think this is OK.
    Am I normal? Does this happens to you guy?

  2. #2
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 343, Level: 6
    Level completed: 86%, Points required for next Level: 7
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    250 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    102
    Points
    343
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Hell yeah it happens to other people, I'm still thinking about a situation from two weeks ago, maybe not haunted like you.

    From your description you sound like you got some wheels in motion which is good. IMO, depending on your level, you should always try and find a way of taking one or two key positive traits away from an interaction. Even if they are little things

  3. #3
    BigLova71's Avatar
    BigLova71 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 6.3%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
    Posts
    18
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Yes man this has happened to me alot, I wish I could grasp this material more so I could get the girl. I am very outgoing and friendly, talking to lots of people especially women but when I really like a girl I am intimidated, the more I like her the more nervous I am. Sometimes I just wish I could walk up and just be myself without pretending I'm Alpha or always together but women are wired a certain way and they seem to need an Alpha guy. If I am not thinking I have much chance or just having fun I can flirt and be really charming but when I really like her and there's more to loose I Loose it.

  4. #4
    Helix is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    8
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Swish put this very well. Take a positive from the situation and try and learn from any mistakes you may have made.

    I am trying to gain confidence with women, especially in my day game. I have had only a hand full of proper interactions during the day this last week but a bucket full of "what could have been" moments. I, like you, was haunted by these. Only today I was sat at my Uni library, and some girl opposite me was giving me lots of ioi. I could not bring myself to approach her but for the first time managed to gain eye contact and smile, which she reciprocated.

    Maybe I could have approached her. But at least she showed interest in me. That's at least a positive. One day I'll get there! One baby step at a time...

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Quote Originally Posted by Swish View Post
    Hell yeah it happens to other people, I'm still thinking about a situation from two weeks ago, maybe not haunted like you.

    From your description you sound like you got some wheels in motion which is good. IMO, depending on your level, you should always try and find a way of taking one or two key positive traits away from an interaction. Even if they are little things
    Oh yeah, I agree, lessons learned are very important .

    The good thing is that the bulk of the bad sensation goes away very quickly, the day after I usually wake up with a sour taste in my mouth at the thought of the missed action but after that it doesn't ache anymore .

    Still, to different degrees, I think it might be something not uncommon among PUAs or "girls-centered guys", but not really that common among "normal people", which is both an advantage and a disadvantage for them

    Anyway, I think it's something that us people who feel like this should work to lessen the negative impact on the mood (even though it might be only short term).
    Going out is supposed to be fun.

    As already said by both you and Helix, focusing more on the positive sides and less on the negative ones can be helpful.

  6. #6
    BigLova71's Avatar
    BigLova71 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 101, Level: 2
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 6.3%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
    Posts
    18
    Points
    101
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Wow totally agree with you, just curious lucifer7, did you like girls when you were very young and when other little boys thought it was strange and even girls not yet decided they liked boys. I liked girls and had crushes on them as young as I can remember. I wonder if other PUA's liked girls at a young age? Just curios guys. I remember being in kindergarden being infatuated to a student teacher.

  7. #7
    scguitar is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,301, Level: 21
    Level completed: 1%, Points required for next Level: 99
    Overall activity: 3.6%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    180
    Points
    1,301
    Level
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    66

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    You clearly are the type of person who expects a lot of themselves, and then you beat yourself up when you know you could have done better. I'm the same way in many aspects in life. Especially when it comes to

    The problem is thinking you can control everything in life. You can't.

    If you do miss an opportunity, and get upset about it, use that as motivation to go up and talk to the very next attractive girl you see.

  8. #8
    Helix is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 124, Level: 2
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    8
    Points
    124
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    If you do miss an opportunity, and get upset about it, use that as motivation to go up and talk to the very next attractive girl you see.
    I like this. I'll try this next time myself!

  9. #9
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    Quote Originally Posted by BigLova71 View Post
    Wow totally agree with you, just curious lucifer7, did you like girls when you were very young and when other little boys thought it was strange and even girls not yet decided they liked boys. I liked girls and had crushes on them as young as I can remember. I wonder if other PUA's liked girls at a young age? Just curios guys. I remember being in kindergarden being infatuated to a student teacher.
    Yeah, first crush in kindergarten .
    Some of it is genetically embroiled I guess, part of it also the culture I guess, where I come from the culture tends to be quite girl-centered (and possibly also a lil bit male chauvinist but I try to drop that ).

    Quote Originally Posted by scguitar View Post
    You clearly are the type of person who expects a lot of themselves, and then you beat yourself up when you know you could have done better. I'm the same way in many aspects in life. Especially when it comes to

    The problem is thinking you can control everything in life. You can't.

    If you do miss an opportunity, and get upset about it, use that as motivation to go up and talk to the very next attractive girl you see.
    Yeah, you are also right, it's not just about caring about girls, it's also about setting high standards for oneself, another reason why not everybody feels like this.
    Those who "I don't care about anything" attitude will hardly ever feel bad about any miss .

    Good suggestion on how to release the accumulated anger/energy!!

  10. #10
    FaithfulRaider is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 408, Level: 8
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 42
    Overall activity: 22.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    15
    Points
    408
    Level
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Default Re: A missed move always torture me.. Am I normal or am I obsessed with gir

    When I first started fishing I would often make lots of mistakes. One time I was in a hurry to get fishing because the fish were all jumping that I didn't tie a very good knot for my lure. Figured it didn't make a difference. And wouldn't you know it, I ended up losing a fish because of it.

    Another time I was fly fishing and didn't set up my line very well. Spend most of the day fighting with my reel instead of the trout.

    I have plenty of stories like this. Each time I learned a lesson but I never got so worked up that I gave up.

    Keep fishing!

    Oh and btw... What was it you learned from that experience? What did the other guy do, that maybe you wouldn't have done? Sure it sucks to get skunked at a day fishing but if you're not catching and someone else is, you could get mad at yourself (ie what were you doing wrong), get mad at him (why is he so lucky) or you could learn from him. Was he using a different bait? A different rig? Different cast or jigging action? Better location? What did he do that you didn't? Try using that information on your next outing and see if you're more successful.

    And if not, any day fishing beats a day at work!


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Girls flakes last second. Psycho or normal?
    By mark223 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 7
    Last Thread: 01-30-2015, 12:03 PM
  2. should I act as if Im pissed off or like everything is normal
    By Shadowcomplex in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 01-19-2013, 02:14 PM
  3. I really need to act normal
    By mangofraky in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 08-18-2012, 07:13 AM
  4. Dealing with girls obsessed with their cellphones
    By DennisBear in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 08-17-2012, 04:14 AM
  5. Meet "normal" :) girls on facebook
    By angelamatozo in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-12-2008, 09:16 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com