I've Been Slacking
When I first joined this site, I had one goal and one goal only in mind: to get the girl of my dreams. I wanted to gain the skill to not only be successful with women, but to also be successful with men. All through February, I powered myself through the art, learning everything I could and overall becoming an even stronger and better person. I saw success, and I saw a lot of it, and this made me very happy.
When March rolled around, though, the success went away. There were no social events, and I stuck with my normal group of friends, not even attempting to get out and see something new. At the same time, college got a bit tougher, and I began to get depressed over all of these things again.
I all of a sudden became absorbed in two different things: studying and music. I studied when I had to, pushing myself into overdrive and attempting to try and get the grades that I needed. When that was all said and done, I reverted to music. In a time that I was mega stressed out, music proved to be a soother and escape route for me. For hours on end, I would get lost in my imagination as the music I loved to fantasize to rolled out into my ears. At night, the only way to successfully and comfortably get me to sleep was with relaxation tracks. I had become an addict to sound.
I was still seeing some success in the game. I was successfully opening the girls that I wanted to on Facebook. There is really no opportunity to go and open anywhere else, considering nothing ever goes on here, so I am forced to stick with online game for a majority of the time. I thought I was doing good. What I did see, but didn't feel like addressing, was the fact that even though I was getting women involved in the conversations and really enjoying them, they were doing absolutely nothing to try and initiate the conversation themselves. In addition, I began to attract, in a larger quantity this time, the same over-conservative girls that I had no interest in whatsoever.
In the end, all I saw were my grades going up, my stress going down, and my game becoming depressingly stagnant.
Here, I wasted a Spring Break, absorbed in a world where my stress was gone and I was free to finally take a break. Sure, I got my work done, and I was decently happy, but I didn't do anything that I really wanted to do.
As I was driving back to college today, I began to listen to 50 Cent's book, "The 50th Law". I listened to the first chapter, and by the end of it had gone through an awe-inspiring enlightenment.
In the first chapter, 50 Cent talks about his hustler upbringings and Greene talks about the mechanics behind the rapper's growth and success. In it, the most important thing he talks about is reality and how we perceive it. He says that those who are constantly sharp to it and constantly allowing their perceptions to change with it are the most successful ones. The part that hit me at home was how we could dull our perceptions. He said that through becoming comfortable or withdrawing from the outside world, we dulled our perceptions and actually become far weaker and more susceptible to breakage and failure.
As I was listening to this, I connected all of the dots, with my mouth hanging wide open at the realization of what I had done. I had in fact created a secure world where my perceptions were dulled by my constant fantasies, and my method of de-stressing was hurting me more than helping me. I could finally see where I was falling off, and what I had to do.
As 50 Cent says, life is harsh and everchanging, and you have to keep your wits about you. If you don't, then you're bound to failure. To be trusting and confident in your beliefs is false. To be calculating and skeptical is truth. Do anything which distracts you from real life, and you shall only find painful failure.
The ultimate lesson: Keep your head out of the clouds. Always make sure you know what is going on, and don't do anything that will throw you into the fog.
I can say that I have locked away my headphones in an effort to stay away from my unhealthy comforter. I have decided that as a more healthy alternative, I will begin to try and dedicate myself to the same intensive studying in the game I went through back in February, when I was happy with myself and stress free as a result of it.
In a Don McLean type of way, this shall be the day the music died. So bye bye music, and hello reality!
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X