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  1. #1
    Amadeus1 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Problem with a Girl in My Office

    This isn’t a thread about trying to pick her out but more so on how to deal with the damage she is causing to me.
    I am currently interning in legislative office and I nearing the end of my time there for the semester in the upcoming month. I feel like I’ve had a decent time there and its def something that I can put on my resume.

    However, I’ve had an equally rough one as well not least due to the other intern in the office who is a female. In my opinion over the past couple of months she has emerged from a minor annoyance to a major threat to my standing within the place I’m interning at.

    The Reason I say this is that she is hyper-competitive, a perfectionist to the point of annoyance, and routinely complicates the most simple of tasks amongst other problems-a typical type A personality. Also, I’ve noticed she has a tendency to point out my mistakes how trivial they be incl. in front of staff embers
    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an extremely diligent and detail oriented worker myself. I feel that her attitude is causing me problems and making me look bad.

    I don’t know if she has been doing this out of sheer competitiveness, malice, or just because she doesn’t know any better. From what I know about her personal background she was home schooled, goes to a strongly Christian College in the Midwest and overall seems to have had a very religious upbringing overall. I’m figuring that she lacks social/people skills due to her isolated existence?

    Additionally, given the fact that she is a woman a makes it more difficult since I feel I can’t be as upfront and direct in dealing with a potential threat then I could with a man.

    Ether why I view her as a problem that I’m trying to tolerate until my internship ends soon and perhaps better deal with people like this in the future.

    Any thoughts on my situation?

  2. #2
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Problem with a Girl in My Office

    sounds like she has something you want (skill wise), i can't pin point it exactly, why not make friends with her?

  3. #3
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Problem with a Girl in My Office

    Usually I'd say to just accuse her of trying to hit on you and that it's not working. But this is a professional environment.

    So looks like you'll have to be upfront. But how is more important.
    It's crucial you begin with a compliment. This'll make her more receptive for the next part. Just like in relationships you would do the same (Honey, I love you and what you do, but....)

    So start off with "I really admire your work ethic and forward personality, but..."

    Now the next part is also important. You have to say "I feel like..." because people get defensive when you accuse them. Such as "You always/never..." So stick to "I feel like."

    "I really admire your work ethic and forward personality, but I feel like you think you're my superior, which we both know isn't the case."

    Try and change the subject after this, but a discussion could take place. If it gets there then you want to focus on boundaries. Not about her and what she has to change about her personality or tell her she's wrong blah blah. Just let her know what you expect from her as far as boundaries. Hope this helps and good luck.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

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