Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 7 of 7
Like Tree9Likes
  • 6 Post By BatMan
  • 3 Post By dave_xxx

Thread: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

  1. #1
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Attraction, when you think about it, is a pretty elusive thing. It's so broad and abstract that we know what it is, yet we don't understand why it works. Even as PUA's we have many labels and techniques for developing attraction, yet on a fundamental level, don't really know what it is. Is it a pull? Like one drawn to another? Is it a result of seeking validation, compliance, or curiousity? Or maybe from showing certain traits in yourself. Perhaps all of that.

    With all the definitions of attraction, I feel that none of them are really wrong. Just different perspectives of the same thing. I'm going to share with you my favorite explanations of what attraction is on a fundamental level and how to create it. Because with attraction there simply is more than one way to skin a cat. Tell me what you think and feel free to share your understandings of what attraction means to you.

    Attraction Switches:

    This was what I first learned when beginning PUA. It's very simple and a cookie cut out of what generates attraction in a woman on a universal scale. It's a classic, to put it simply. The trick with these is really pulling them off. Not learning what they are. You can do dhv storytelling. But if you've ever read Magic Bullets, they explain that the closer the woman is to discovering those things herself, without you telling her, the more impact it will have and generate much more attraction than a story you tell her. Like if her friend told her about you going to Europe vs your own buddy whom she doesn't even know. These were fun to learn. For those who aren't quite familiar, here are the main attraction switches:

    -Pre-Selection
    -Social Proof
    -Leader of Men
    -Protector of Loved Ones
    -Willingness to Walk Away
    -Willingness to Emote

    Push/Pull:

    This is a bit more fundamental in terms of building attraction. Let's face it, some of us don't have really exciting stories of doing amazing things. And we still have a code to not lie and make things up. I myself come from a very poor neighborhood filled with gangs and violence. I doubt any woman I'm looking for would find that attractive.

    Learning push/pull made me feel better and more confident about building attraction because it showed me that I didn't need fancy stories. That I could validate her in one way, then devalidate her in another way. Like a rubberband being pulled and released constantly. Building up heat and friction until it breaks under all the Tension.

    I'm still getting better at push/pull, but I've come a very long way since learning about it. It's a skill ANYONE can master and there is much room to grow with this technique since it is soooo dynamic. Yes you can prepare some push/pull lines, but most of it is just about understanding how it works and doing it on the fly. Some of my best lines came at the spur of the moment just because I wrapped my head around this concept.

    Frame Control:

    This was one of the biggest revelations in my game when I finally understood and wrapped my head around frames and frame control. I like to use the following analogy: It's like two people looking at the same sunset, but one is wearing orange shades and the other is wearing purple. Same view, different perspectives. The ability to hand that person a certain pair of shades that you'd prefer them to have is frame control.

    Ever since then I view people now as living in these kinds of bubbles of reality. Everyone has their own perceptions of the world around them and how they see themselves in this world. I see people imposing these "bubbles of reality" on each other all the time during an interaction. (In fact, if you think about it, I'm doing that with you right now as you read this.) And noticing that whoever has the stronger bubble wins. You see...when I realized that alot of things have nothing to do with truth, but power, a whole new world opened up to me. Hence the quote that's attached to my profile.

    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at any given time is a result of power and not truth."

    Do you know what it meant when I realized this? It means whatever a woman says or does something, I interpret it that she is imposing her bubble on me and I have to choose to accept it or not. When a woman says she thinks sex on the first date is wrong, many men may accept her bubble or frame as truth. And go out of their way to make sure she doesn't think that's what he is trying to do with her. Instead of questioning why you feel her view is correct in the first place. But it's not truth. It's simply her interpretation of the world around her. And if she has more conviction than you in that belief, it will seem to you as truth. Develop a strong reality and conviction of the world around you and you can suck her into you.

    Adam Lyons on Attraction:

    I read an article he wrote and he broke attraction down fairly simple. And I really liked it. It's less complicated and more abstract than the attraction switches, but concrete enough to not be viewed as pure speculation or theory. These are the elements of what attraction is according to that article.

    - Want
    Understand that we don't feel the real want or desire for something until we can't have it anymore. Taking it away and her realizing that she can't have you creates a "vacuum of thought and investment."

    - Unpredictable
    Watching the same movie over and over is boring. Don't be that. Women want stability in the relationship, but not in their partners personality. "People we can’t read or pin down, captivate us, they bring us into their world."

    - Breaking Comfort
    In order to break comfort you need to have it in the first place. "You need to have a certain amount of comfort to break and create the vacuum that causes her to want to have you as a partner."

    Vin DiCarlo on Compliance and Value:

    This is probably more of the darker side of PUA. This is potentially very damaging to women and should NOT be abused. But understanding the relationship between attraction, compliance, and value will help you view your interactions with women in a whole new light. It's a fundamental concept to understand.

    And that is that people are usually attracted to others who they see as having equal or more value than themselves. That when a woman is attracted to you she will automatically be compliant to certain things. And that you can slowly build enough compliance within her that you not only get sex, but for her to buy you things and do things for you. Even as far as to lay her life for you or go into prostitution. Again, this is NOT to be abused.

    Through a system of punishment and reward you can build heavy compliance in a woman. DiCarlo states how many men view things in a way that if he takes her out and buys her things that she will kiss him. That if he gets into a relationship with her she will give him access to sex regularly. While on the other hand you can build enough compliance in her that you not only get sex, but you don't have to buy her anything or even take her on one...single...date.

    "Attraction is the result of withheld compliance. Whatever compliance a girl feels she deserves but doesn't yet have, produces attraction to you, the source of value. Screening and qualification is what makes her feel as though your compliance is worth pursuing. The best way to engage a girl, therefore is to demonstrate high value and produce relevant qualification."

    It's an illusion to think that being more compliant creates compliance on her part. Think about it. How many times did you do something for a woman because you had the belief you'd get something out of it? How many times have you broken your back to do something for her only to get a kiss on the cheek? And then you feel like some kind of winner for getting such a great reward for all your hard work. We value what we feel we have earned. If you create the perception that she has to earn you, she will value you. Simple as that.

    I know this was a bit long, but hopefully it was entertaining and enlightening enough that you didn't notice Hope this helps and, as always, good luck to you guys.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 5,203, Level: 46
    Level completed: 27%, Points required for next Level: 147
    Overall activity: 40.0%
    Achievements:
    5000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Vancouver, Canada
    Posts
    466
    Points
    5,203
    Level
    46
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    237

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Excellent post Batman.

    There are so many great things in your posts that can help any pua.

    I like what you posted about the first date and the girls saying that they won't have sex on the first date. This happens ALL the time and guys will just accept that as if it's written in concrete. It's very easy to change their opinion.

    When I go on a d1 my f-close rate is about 90%. Many times a girl will frame that she won't have sex on the first few dates. I will then re-frame it. I like to use this:

    "So you're telling me that if you were feeling hot, passionate and so alive inside that you would rather deny yourself? Rather than act on your passionate feelings because you feel that sex shouldn't happen during the first few dates? So who is the one that is really getting the raw deal here? The guy or you? He's going to get sex with you after what, the 3rd? 4th, or 20th date anyway right? But you would rather punish yourself ? Yup it makes total sense to me"

    I say it in a really cocky ,funny, sarcastic way. If any guys plan on using it they should practice saying it about 20 to 30 times until you feel it sounds right. Practice changing the tonality or how fast or slow you deliver it.It will totally change the frame in your favor and you will know have control.

    Don't bring yourself into the conversation at this point or imply that you want to have sex with her on the first date. Talk in generalities at this point to re-frame it in your favor.

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Haha I like that! Usually if she says that I just say "Ok. Sure" or "Who said I was going to sleep with you on the first date?" All with a sly smile.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,917, Level: 26
    Level completed: 17%, Points required for next Level: 83
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    350
    Points
    1,917
    Level
    26
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts
    Rep Power
    97

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Bro, I'm speechless. Beginner, intermediate, pro doesn't matter. All should read this, great round up. Thank you!
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #5
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,497, Level: 42
    Level completed: 74%, Points required for next Level: 53
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Back for a limited time.
    Posts
    437
    Points
    4,497
    Level
    42
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    207

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Great job BatMan. I know your advice on frame control, though really hard to get my head around helped me get a better handle on it. I think the hardest thing is being able to spot it when it happens so that you can reverse it.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,552, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,151
    Points
    31,552
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 12 Posts
    Rep Power
    1389

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Quote Originally Posted by Blistex View Post
    I think the hardest thing is being able to spot it when it happens so that you can reverse it.
    Definitely one of the toughest parts about mastering, really any, of this stuff. I have known about this for awhile now, but still find myself accepting frames without knowing it until afterwards. But realizing one in the moment is such a giddy feeling lol.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    Roadwarrior is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 161, Level: 3
    Level completed: 22%, Points required for next Level: 39
    Overall activity: 8.3%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    25
    Points
    161
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: BatMan: Thoughts on Attraction

    Incredible post Batman, you've hit the nail on the head of the general aspects of attraction and it's basis within other categories such as frame, Re-framing, Kino etc.
    It's funny to think that all of our efforts are focused on attraction(That's what it boils down to) and yet we are barely at the tip of the iceburg.

    \M/


Similar Threads

  1. Batman Opener
    By Smokey in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 10
    Last Thread: 12-06-2013, 09:19 AM
  2. What is Qualification? - BatMan
    By BatMan in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 11-14-2013, 09:45 PM
  3. BatMan: Dance Game Debunked
    By BatMan in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 33
    Last Thread: 08-01-2013, 12:56 PM
  4. Question from BatMan
    By BatMan in forum General Questions
    Replies: 13
    Last Thread: 05-29-2013, 05:56 PM
  5. BatMan in Jersey- Wingman
    By BatMan in forum Find a Local Wingman
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 02-02-2013, 07:34 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com