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Thread: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

  1. #1
    Rhodes21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    I figured this would be the place to put this kind of thing... I only have one real friend, he's my best friend and I see him probably once every two weeks if that. He lives about 40 minutes away. I'm only 19, I still don't have a car of my own.

    What do you guys suggest I do? I generally enjoy my own company but having a friend with me while talking to woman just makes me feel better, it's just depressing being by yourself ALL THE TIME.

    Do you guys have any suggestions?

  2. #2
    dave_xxx's Avatar
    dave_xxx is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    What do you do for work? Are you going to school? How are your social skills? Do you workout?

    If you tell us a little more information about yourself you will get a much more accurate answer here that will really help you out.

    For what it's worth, you have thousands of friends here to help you out with HONEST answers and opinions. Learn more of the game and you will have a LOT more FEMALE friends too.

  3. #3
    Rhodes21 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    Hey Dave. Well, I work as a plumber with my father, I'm a helper, he has a business and I go on jobs with him. Sometimes we'll work on a larger job site, with other workers but mostly male middle aged plumbers.

    I shouldn't say I dont' any have any friends. I had a large amount of 'friends' in high school, mostly people I talked to all day in school but never hung out out of school. Now I'm almost two years out of school.

    I have good social skills, I'm a confident person. I usually run on the treadmill but broke my wrist, I can't run for another week or so until it's healed or it might get damaged while I'm running.

    Thanks, Dave.

  4. #4
    PokerPlayer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    I don't know what your career plans are but I would say if you plan to go for a degree, certification, or there are courses that would help you in your career I would say now is the time to go for that even if you only take one course at a time. College or vocational courses are expensive so don't take them just to meet people obviously but you're likely to meet other people your age who have similar interests (especially in the specialized courses) at the same time you learn a skill.

    Another option is you could post in the "Find a Local wingman" section.

  5. #5
    Lunchbox is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    Seriously? Talk to strangers.

    One of my now best friends is a guy I met because I approached him randomly on campus and started yelling the words to "Angel of Death" by Slayer, because he was wearing a Slayer t-shirt. He didn't realise at first, we struck up conversation, had a coffee and now we're regular drinking buddies.

  6. #6
    Lazarus is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    I would say "learn to be by yourself." You may want to have friends, but if that isn't the case (I'm in the same boat actually), I would say just try to become comfortable enough in your own skin that you don't need other people around you. The whole "non-needy" thing, basically. Friends/companions should add value to a life that already has value.

    One of my roommates goes apesh1t if he's by himself for any length of time and the other has to constantly be entertaining himself with his phone, XBox, or whatever, whereas, I can sit by myself for hours and be entertained by my own thoughts, or a book, or [I]something.[I] I don't [I]need[I] to have other people around me, I [I]want[I] to have other people around me.

    We're all on this forum because we're striving to become "social artists" so if it's really an issue, then try to be more social. Talk to strangers. Start conversations with anyone who seems interesting or cool. Get a hobby that takes you around other people you might want to befriend. Just my thoughts.

  7. #7
    x Mojo x's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    I am a tad older so it's a little easier for me. I started this pick up thing, and realized that without knowing it, my buddy was doing what I was studying.. I showed him the book, and he reads the forums all the time and then we sarge together.. Pick a guy that seems to be good with girls, and ask him how he does it. There is no stronger common ground than the pursuit of beautiful women. Cheers.

    - Mojo

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    You are in the same exact problem I had 2 years ago. Even the same age. Creepy.

    I now have more friends than I can hang out with. Heres what you should do.

    A) change your mindsets. Believe people are already your friends when you talk to them. Theyll fall into your frame rather quickly considering near everyone is always looking for a cool high value friend.

    B) be a man of value. Add to peoples lives. If you are always giving why wouldn't people not want to hang with you. Doesnt mean buy them stuff. It means give value by giving out emotions of positivity, excitement or humor.

    C) the hardest one of all 3 is this one. Put up no barriers. Be 100 percent authentically yourself. Certain people will love you for you others will hate you and thats fine. Because the people that love you will love you 10 times more for the real you.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  9. #9
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    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    What Rooster has listed is a very solid guide to how to get friends. Another important thing that should be added to that is to be a leader in the social groups. Once you get some friends, be the one to make the plans and organize things. Prove yourself as a man who can get the group going, and they will flock to you like crazy.

    Right now, it also sounds like confidence is your biggest problem. Because you have only one real close friend, you don't think that you are capable of getting others. It's just a matter of taking that first step. You take that first step enough times and approaching new people will be a piece of cake.

    A recommended reading for you would be to check out Tyler Durden's Real Social Dynamics. It's all centered around inner game, and it did loads to revolutionize and boost my confidence.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  10. #10
    Magnum is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I Don't Really Have Any Friends

    As PokerPlayer pointed out, there is a category on this forum for putting up posts to find local wingmen. Makes sense, I mean, you're looking for friends, friends should have mutual interest with you, and you're clearly interested in being a PUA! Have you tried there?

    Not having a car really just depends on where you live. I used to meet a ridiculous quantity of girls (and interesting people in general) on buses and subways when I took public transit. I've also had people just randomly come up and start a conversation because of my bike. In rural areas where everything is far, not having your own transportation can suck, though. If that is the case, put all your efforts into finding a friend with a car. Offer him gas money if that's what it takes. When I was a kid we'd all pitch in a few bucks to the kid whose older brother had a pickup truck, and he'd haul us to all kinds of crazy places, and it got to the point where he filled up the entire truck with kids just because of the extra cash he'd get out of it.

    And you say you meet women but it's just easier with a friend along? True, but if you're somehow managing to meet all these women, why not take some of them and turn the uninterested (or uninteresting) ones into friends? Wingmen are great, but a good wingwoman is GOLDEN. social proof, through the roof. (Notice I said "good" wingwoman, though. Better to go solo than have a bad wingwoman.)


    BTW, if anyone has a chance, I have an open question in another thread:
    http://www.puaforums.com/ask-expert/...tml#post103797


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