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  • 1 Post By theBOB
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Thread: How do you motivate yourself?

  1. #1
    Foxes is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do you motivate yourself?

    I've encountered a slight problem with regards to myself and I wanted to get an opinion.

    Firstly I would consider my game fledgling yet mildly successful, got a date on Thursday with a 25yo teacher with a bachelors in psychology, another girl from just out of town and one of my friends from college, her boyfriend came up to me at a party on Saturday and said "Every time I see you you're with another girl"

    My problem however is not related to confidence at all but rather motivation.

    When I wake up most mornings my mind is fired up, want to do everything whenever I can with no regards to the fact that failure is a potential result, just want to go out do whatever is on my mind and nobody will stop me, even if it means I'm going to sit in my boxers and play football manager all day.

    But the problem is, sometimes when I'm in "Let's do this" mode, without warning or reason my motivation just vanishes like a fart in the wind. Nothing appeals to me for a day or two even talking to women I consider attractive. I wouldn't say my mind goes AFC because it keeps working but basically says "I can totally get her number for you man, but I'm not in the mood, check back tomorrow I might be fixed... but don't count on it"

    Am I the only one like this or is this a common thing?

    TL;DR

    I randomly lose my motivation to do things that include pickup from time to time for no reason, what do you do to motivate yourself in general?

  2. #2
    theBOB's Avatar
    theBOB is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you motivate yourself?

    I had that for a while and it was really kind of confidence lack. I said "yea I could" but wasn't and I told myself I COULD (and I PROBIBALY truthfully COULD). But I think it was a fear of rejection (especially in cases where I thought it would be easy) and Approach Anxiety in the form of avoidance. I would force myself to approach one girl and after the rush I always wanted ten more. I'm a bit if an approach junkie, and as scary as it can be (even for vets like me) the rush gets me hooked again every time.

    You can do any of the games with a friend (give them $100 and you only get $20 back every approach, etc.) or even TALK about game, that usually helps. I also keep an A-Z list of amazing stories in my phone (just letter and "name" of story) so I always have something to say. And if you can't find women, meet guys and get "chatty" nd in the zone. It's about networking too right? I've probably slept with as many women who I've met from dudes (mastering the social circle).

    As simple as it is, if your writing this post, lie to yourself all you want. You WOULD like to make those approaches. So do it. You'll feel much better afterwards. You cn do it! Go get em.
    --theBOB--

  3. #3
    theBOB's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you motivate yourself?

    If all else fails you can always think of yourself overweight in a stained wife beater on your couch with a beer in one hand and your shwang in the other. Crying watching "hope floats" and touching yourself. That visual gets me into women everytime...
    --theBOB--

  4. #4
    PUcowboy's Avatar
    PUcowboy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you motivate yourself?

    what gets me pumped up and ready to go can be some of my favorite music, something up beat, like some rock and roll that makes you want to go out and party or something like that. Just the other day I was on the lake with some friends, totally burned out for the day, just ready to go home, and this girl on a jet ski kept flirting with me, she was about a 8 or so, I just wasn't feeling it, and im always down for meeting beautiful ladies, hence why im here, however sometimes if you just aren't feeling it you aren't feeling it, nothing worse than forcing yourself to have to do something you don't want to do. However, here is where you can really diagnose your problem, if you really aren't motivated to talk to anyone, then you just aren't feeling it, however if you do want to talk to some chicks but "aren't feeling it" then id say that you are lacking a little of your previous confidence my man. Good luck! get pumped up, nothing better than talking to a smoking lady

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How do you motivate yourself?

    Just asking- how often do you drink? Even a few beers (and trust me I'm a musician, I can POUND em) or even bad food (too much/ low quality) can make me sluggish and apathetic. Alcohol os a depressant so you WILL fall asleep if you dont stay active. I'm sure you've bad a beer after work and passed out for a map. Not a coincidence. For this reason, pickup and beer don't mix as well as we would all hope (that and having too many and running your mouth. Or drunk texting. GAME KILLERS).

    For me it's still almost always rooted in confidence. If I eat crap and feel sluggish I don't want to talk to women, but I can't "explain" why.
    --theBOB--

  6. #6
    Swish is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you motivate yourself?

    I'm kind of in the same boat as the OP. My thought is: take a break. For me I decided to give online dating a try (which for all you newbs is a great way to help desensitize yourself from rejection as well as show the value of abundance) which may not seem like a big deal for some but for me it's a bigger step then I have ever taken (which shows you how AFC I actually am). Anyway I think I might be taking a short break from game try to regain some good habits when I wasnt as active in game

    Frankly I think success naturally comes with peaks and valleys. In my mind with success comes moments where you are content to not do anything but also moments where you are motivated to build off of the success. The range of these peaks and valleys rangers from person to person.

    I will say echoing your sentiment that I have certain parts of my day which I am less motivated to do than others, the gym in particular. Also I find that my online escapades mean less time on this forum which can be a double edged sword. I also stopped keeping my journal, another bad sign.


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