Re: Wolf on Ego and Value
This is pretty interesting. Definitely agree with the explanation on ego, and I definitely agree with the explanation on value; both are very solid. I wouldn't say that without confidence, you can't display value. You can display value when you are timid, but it won't come across as good.
I think of value as a racing car, and the ego is like your octane: the more you have, the better your car will perform. Speed is everything in a race, and a high amount of octane will allow you to smoke the competition. If you have low octane, you will still go a decent speed, but it would be like driving a compact semi versus the competition. So when you think about it, a small ego won't stop you from showing value, but it will seem like you aren't doing anything compared to someone with a very large ego.
I also wouldn't say that because of our parents we become bestowed with a small ego. Some kids will revolt against their parents, and that is when they develop massive egos, and some parents raise their kids to have massive egos. I have seen both.
Take me for example. I used to be very humble because of my autism. Because I could not socialize normally and I had no idea how to be like my peers, I would often work to appease everyone and try to fit in with multiple groups. Some people saw me as high value because I was a great athlete, I was smart, and I had talent in music. However, in an effort to gain the acceptance and approval of everyone, I kept my ego at almost zero. It was not a lack of parenting, or over-parenting for that matter, that caused my low ego. It was the lack of knowledge and ability that caused it.
One last thing I can add to this is the line on being arrogant and selfish. I 110% agree with this. Indecisiveness, shyness, and a whole lot of other bad traits can be caused by a lack of selfishness. We have become so worried about everyone else and how they will react to something that we have abandoned our own desire to appease ourselves. A true leader is not only able to think about himself, but think about others as well.
With my dorm room for college, I took on full charge. I told my roommates what I wanted, and then I took what they wanted and put forward the option best for everyone. When somebody tried to back out, or pull some moves that would result in the rest of the group getting screwed over, I slammed my foot down and said no. People who are self-centered all the time are hated, but those who are never self-centered are considered weak. Like an Aristotlean Ethic, there are two extremes to this equation, and the answer is an appropriate balance of both.
Overall, this is some pretty good stuff. I would like to see what you have to say further on this matter in the tangent you have proposed.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X