Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree3Likes
  • 2 Post By afflixion
  • 1 Post By Cody

Thread: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

  1. #1
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    I was thinking that somehow the most respected and taken seriously people in most societies seem to be monogamous that don't sleep around, don't put girls high in their priorities and that often have solid families and/relationships around them.

    PRESIDENTS:
    Compare:
    Merkel/(most)US presidents: all in monogamous relationships with their "beautiful" families. All respected individual people listen to.
    VS
    Berlusconi , sleeping around, a joke to most European counterparties;
    Gheddafi: moving around with an army of amazons to entertain him, considered an idiot the whole world over (friend of Berlusconi, maybe not by accident)


    BUSINESS PEOPLE
    Warren Buffet: married a 60YO woman that her ex wife introduced to him, all 3 were good friends and possibly only had these 2 women;
    Ben Bernanke, current president of the FED, one long term wife two children;
    Alan Greenspan , former FED president, 2 wifes, certainly not the kind of guy you'd imagine sleeping around.
    Henry Paulson: former CEO of Goldman Sachs and Secretary of the Treasury during the financial crisis, one long term wife met in college.

    These are some of the most respected people whom you could hear talking.
    It's hard to think of any highly respected person who places women (plural) high in his list, sleeps around and moves on frequently with relationships.

    Of course if you think hard there'll be a few, but disproportionately the people that command the most respect and that are hold in the highest regards seem to have solid, long term relationship lives and don't bed hop even when they could do so very easily (because of fame, money etc.)




    I think there are several reasons for it, but I'd like to hear your opinion.

  2. #2
    afflixion is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 201, Level: 4
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    22
    Points
    201
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    It's an interesting topic... a couple of things spring to mind:

    1) You THINK those respected people in happy monogamous relationships are in happy monogamous relationships. But how would you know? How often do you hear of some "respectable" politician or other high profile person who has the wife of 20+ years, kids, dog etc., all "Mr Clean", and then BAM! they get caught in a toilet cubicle with another guy, or in bed with a hooker. And the ones who really don't stray - how do you know they are happy? Sure they may have wealth, power, respect - but how do you know they aren't fucking miserable, living a lie, waking up every morning, putting on their fake smile while secretly wishing they'd died in their sleep? Or the "respectable", "monogamous" guy and the woman he's been married to his whole life could really be swingers, lol.

    2) I'm not exactly clear what your position is here... are you saying it's better to be respectable than to sleep around? Or that if you sleep around people won't respect you?

    I'm sure there are plenty of examples of people who have achieved great things yet been thought less of because of their liberal attitudes to sex and relationships - but does that reflect more negatively on the individuals in question, or on society? And what's more important - earning the respect of wider society, or living your life your own way instead of according to everyone else's rules?

  3. #3
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    I'm not really taking a position, I'm more like "whatever makes people feel good".
    Even though in the PUA community there seem to be a stigma on long term relationship that I don't think should be there at all.

    About N.1
    Yes, can probably say that some of them are locked in unhappy marriages because of social norms, and that's possibly true for some of them.
    But that's the "negative view": you could shrug off players the same way by saying they're all looking for short term reliefs to their unhappy lives. And it might be true for some, but that's not the whole thing.

    I think long term relationship can tell more the qualities that are inherent to people who manage to have them:

    1. He was able to screen all the girls around to find the right one of his liking, similar to him with whom he had great chances to stay for the longer run.
    Someone who would support him in his other life achievements rather than hampering him (they say behind a great man there's always a great woman, but maybe behind a great woman there's again a great man who made her his )

    2. He was able to get her.
    And make her happy enough to stick around even while he was so busy doing his things (and a solid drama free relationship certainly was pivotal for him having success);

    3. He was able to make that relationship last for a long time, keeping dramas and short term whims at bay and making it through the hard times while still being happy together.
    It says a lot about how well adjusted a person is to keep a relationship for a long time: I know some people that need someone close by and are always in relationships but just can't manage to keep them.

  4. #4
    afflixion is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 201, Level: 4
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    22
    Points
    201
    Level
    4
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    I'm certainly not against long term relationships. I was married for ten years, and for most of that time I intended my marriage to last for ever. (And it didn't end because of lack of commitment or "short term whims".)

    What I AM (now) against is the assumption by many - including, until recently, me - that long term monogamous relationships are in some way superior or more desirable than every other type of relationship.

    None are inherently better or worse - only different. What matters is whatever makes the people in the relationship(s) happy. So in that, I agree with you.

    But for the rest I still think you're making a lot of assumptions... not saying I think those assumptions are wrong, necessarily, just that... I wonder what you base them on.

    "It says a lot about how well adjusted a person is to keep a relationship for a long time". // Maybe for some, but I don't think you can generalise. People stay together for a lot of reasons, including people who aren't happy. And as for "well adjusted" - what does that even mean? lol.

  5. #5
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by afflixion View Post
    But for the rest I still think you're making a lot of assumptions... not saying I think those assumptions are wrong, necessarily, just that... I wonder what you base them on.
    Definitely doing some assumptions, not professing I found the final truth here, let's say it had been a while I seemed to notice this trend among some of the most respected individuals -many of whom I respect as well- and wanted to share some thoughts about it

    Quote Originally Posted by afflixion View Post
    "It says a lot about how well adjusted a person is to keep a relationship for a long time". // Maybe for some, but I don't think you can generalise. People stay together for a lot of reasons, including people who aren't happy. And as for "well adjusted" - what does that even mean? lol.
    Hmmm let's say that the people I was referring to that weren't able to keep a long term relationship were either dram queens, people with substance abuse issues, people with strong emotional roller coaster... You get the trend and you know what I mean: if someone is able to keep a long term relationsihp which happily goes on without anyone trying to (badly ) cause harm to the other, it is already a positive indicator about someone.

    It's not a final seal of guarantee, but it's a positive indicator.

    If you think about it, it's the same for careers: what's one of the bad indicators an HR person is wary of? Job hopping.

  6. #6
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,106, Level: 19
    Level completed: 6%, Points required for next Level: 94
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    139
    Points
    1,106
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    56

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    Taking celebrities and specially politicians as an example for this is the biggest proof it's not true.

    Just like they said before me, those people look like Mr. perfect for a living.
    Yes people aren't used to players, they're trained and brainwashed to want and admire stability, monogamy and safety. Most of them live miserable lives only because they're afraid to jump out of their comfort zone.

  7. #7
    lucifer7 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 473, Level: 9
    Level completed: 46%, Points required for next Level: 27
    Overall activity: 31.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    130
    Points
    473
    Level
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    28

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyOnPurpose View Post
    Taking celebrities and specially politicians as an example for this is the biggest proof it's not true.

    Just like they said before me, those people look like Mr. perfect for a living.
    Yes people aren't used to players, they're trained and brainwashed to want and admire stability, monogamy and safety. Most of them live miserable lives only because they're afraid to jump out of their comfort zone.
    Again, some of them might be miserable, but that's a bit too judgmental I think, some of them can also be very happy about their meaningful lives (Paulson and Bernanke I mentioned can take pride of having contributed to avoid a second Great Depression).

    If you think about it, it would be almost obvious that people in highly respected position tend to be in relationship with women who are supportive and add value rather than being in fleeting relationships who suck the wind out of them...

  8. #8
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
    DirtyOnPurpose is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,106, Level: 19
    Level completed: 6%, Points required for next Level: 94
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    139
    Points
    1,106
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    56

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    Yes, I thought about it so many times. There's different paths you can take, their path requires stability on the relationship level that's why they seek those "supportive" partners. This is completely robotic of them, they just pick the mate that fits their lifestyle best: A supporter, an understand[er], a loyal fan.
    In other words, someone secondary. Like another employee that works for them.

    They let their well hidden inner issues suck the wind out of them instead.

    That's the way I see it.

  9. #9
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
    Points: 23,461, Level: 94
    Level completed: 12%, Points required for next Level: 889
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    CF, IA
    Posts
    1,097
    Points
    23,461
    Level
    94
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    994

    Default Re: Most respected people are in monogamous long term relationships

    Most respected people are happy. That's why people respect them; respect in the sense of admiration, because most people respect those of whom they wish they could be--but lack the courage to do so.

    *Courage. People respect and admire virtues, one of which being commitment. It doesn't have to be in a relationship, that's just the most easily identifiable and attributed.

    (tl;dr) People respect commitment, however that is shown.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:



Similar Threads

  1. any other long term travellers in here?
    By longdistancedrifter in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 05-19-2013, 07:11 PM
  2. RB - Guide to MLTR (Multiple Long Term Relationships)
    By The Red Baron in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 02-11-2013, 04:11 PM
  3. MLTR: Multiple Long Term Relationships - tips!!!
    By Sniper NYC in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 02-11-2013, 03:43 PM
  4. Ended long term relationship..
    By Gordo in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 7
    Last Thread: 07-11-2012, 01:33 PM
  5. Are You Her Fun Sex Guy, or the Long Term Settle Down Guy?
    By Girlwithnoname in forum Self Improvement And Health
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 09-19-2011, 06:16 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com