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  1. #1
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    my friend went to school with this cute girl but never managed to ask for her number. he is normally pretty good at this stuff but he got in his own way with her. she is special. tonight i had tickets to second city as a student and so i gave him the other one. it turns out she is also a student and she sat behind us. she talked like she knew him and saw him all the time. while they talked i talked to her 2 hot friends. whenever her hot friends were separate, they talked to me but when they were together, they were weirdly all over each other. after the show they got away from me and i didn't get their #s so i got hers, figuring i could shoot for one of them through her. i knew it was a long shot since they were so much more interested in each other. i also figured she was pretty cool and if he changed his mind or things didn't work out, well, who knows. I've never wanted a girl that a friend was interested in but like i said, she is special. still, he's known her a long time so he should AT LEAST decide if i go for it (given how the drive home went, id say i have my answer). it turns out that when i got her #, i blocked him.

    I need help getting him a window. I texted "The 3 of us should grab drinks next week. When are you free ?"
    it appears to be a real #, he was concerned, though the one thing i can say, despite being 23 and never being on a date or so much as kissing a girl, is that I've never gotten a fake #.

    what is my next step to help him? how long should i wait? if you have any advice for the 2 i was talking to, id welcome it but I'm not holding my breath.

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    Not too much to do at this point. That was a basic rule on wingmanship that you broke. It would have been hard to get the other girls' numbers through the friend. At this point, you should have no communication with the girl, and your friend should ask for her number though you probably have a better chance since she's known him longer and has already friend-zoned him.

    It's really cool you're 23 and starting this. That's when I started. I'm going to write a post tomorrow about when I lost my virginity after finding out about game. Think you'd appreciate it.

  3. #3
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    i would like to say not really wingmanning b/c every time he helps me he ends up flirting instead. still we are tight, its just his habit. as for what i did, i shouldn't of. i live in a suburb near chicago but no one ever wants to go anywhere that is good for meeting people with me so even though I'm always looking i never find any, hence my determination with those other girls i told you about and my tendency to overthink. this was this first night in ages that i saw a cute girl in a social setting and probably the only night with more than one in ever so i kinda jumped on the opportunities presented. I'm not sure what happened with this 2 girls. when it was just us we talked and they were engaged but the moment the 2 were together, i could NOT get their attention and i knew if i tried to hard id blow any shot i had.
    after the show they wandered off holding hands and the only way to keep up would be to literally run after, heir go plan b - her #

    i could actually use some advice on how to get a girls attention without appearing like I'm trying to, if you have it. try to avoid a repeat of that

    i would like to hear this story, it could only help

  4. #4
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewkrs27 View Post
    i would like to say not really wingmanning b/c every time he helps me he ends up flirting instead. still we are tight, its just his habit. as for what i did, i shouldn't of. i live in a suburb near chicago but no one ever wants to go anywhere that is good for meeting people with me so even though I'm always looking i never find any, hence my determination with those other girls i told you about and my tendency to overthink. this was this first night in ages that i saw a cute girl in a social setting and probably the only night with more than one in ever so i kinda jumped on the opportunities presented. I'm not sure what happened with this 2 girls. when it was just us we talked and they were engaged but the moment the 2 were together, i could NOT get their attention and i knew if i tried to hard id blow any shot i had.
    after the show they wandered off holding hands and the only way to keep up would be to literally run after, heir go plan b - her #

    i could actually use some advice on how to get a girls attention without appearing like I'm trying to, if you have it. try to avoid a repeat of that

    i would like to hear this story, it could only help
    I've had a wing that always went for my target once I started getting her attracted. After a lot of conversations, I stopped gaming with him. You need to talk to your buddy about that. It doesn't matter if it's his character to flirt. If my wing is in set, I leave to give him Isolation and if that isn't possible, I shut up and say virtually nothing witty if she asks me a question. It's his set, and I respect that. Even if she's showing me more interest, I will let him game the girl. It shouldn't be any other way.

    As far as getting their attention ? The answer is both simple and complicated. Be more fun, exciting, witty and flirty. The dynamics of how to do that is a much much longer post.

  5. #5
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    he and i barely talked the whole night. at the end of the night when we were leaving she told him she sees him all the time and she'll talk to him soon and they'll see each other soon and a bunch of stuff like that. they way she talked i thought that they actually did and i figured he already had her #. i definitely thought he would have gotten it sooner. while the 2 girls that i was working on were distracted by each other, he was talking to her. it would have been easy for him, he had her attention. so i thought that he already did. i figured i couldn't get either of my girls #'s cause the window never opened long enough so i got hers figuring she might open it.
    now that i think about it the platitudes she was giving him at the end could speak for themselves. idk, what do you think i should/could do to help him. He made it clear he's actually in to this girl. I wouldn't go for her if I could. Though I would like to know if you think I could, my ego really needs the boost. Also do u think there's anything I can do about those other 2 girls?

  6. #6
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    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    Do not talk to your friend's girl. Her giving the number shows she IS interested. What you can do for him now is not talk to her. Just because you assumed he already had her number was not a valid reason to get her number. To see those girls again, you need to be physically present in front of them or find them on Facebook, friend them, then message them.

    Or, you can text your friend's girl this one message. "Hey [her name], I thought Gina was really cute. What's her number?" Then, she'll message her friend whether or not to give you the number, and everyone will know you like her, and you'll put undue pressure on the situation, but... it's your best option if you think you'll NEVER see the girls again otherwise. In the future, get the number when the set is in front of you.

    Feel the pain of screwing up and embrace it, so next time a situation similar to this comes around, you know what to do. This is all learning. None of these women are special. They are just lessons to be learned from.

  7. #7
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    i kinda figured something like that.

    he was paranoid that she gave me a fake number so last night he kept hounding me to text her and find out. i ended up sending "The 3 of us should grab drinks next week. When are you free ?" from the car (though my gut said it was bad) and i haven't heard back. when he dropped me off (he drove this time) the last thing he said was let me know what she says. is there any kind of save?
    based on your text i was wondering if i should send some kind of follow-up: "Hey Ashley, I thought Cassie was really cute. You, Cassie, Ian, and I should grab drinks sometime" though as i type i wonder if the only way that would work is if it were ambiguous enough that she didn't know who she was for, just so she could get in a room with him and he could get a window. maybe remove the part about Cassie being cute and let them make assumptions.

    my biggest concern, though, is that the text i sent last night blew it for us both

  8. #8
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewkrs27 View Post
    i kinda figured something like that.

    he was paranoid that she gave me a fake number so last night he kept hounding me to text her and find out. i ended up sending "The 3 of us should grab drinks next week. When are you free ?" from the car (though my gut said it was bad) and i haven't heard back. when he dropped me off (he drove this time) the last thing he said was let me know what she says. is there any kind of save?
    based on your text i was wondering if i should send some kind of follow-up: "Hey Ashley, I thought Cassie was really cute. You, Cassie, Ian, and I should grab drinks sometime" though as i type i wonder if the only way that would work is if it were ambiguous enough that she didn't know who she was for, just so she could get in a room with him and he could get a window. maybe remove the part about Cassie being cute and let them make assumptions.

    my biggest concern, though, is that the text i sent last night blew it for us both
    Leave it for 2 weeks, unless she texts back. The only way to fix it in person by having your friend talk to her and set up a date. You can ask her about Cassie.

  9. #9
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    he has no way to set it up b/c he never sees her apparently. he was complaining to me after that it was 1 in a million that he saw her again

    so if i follow right, unless she texts back, i should wait 2 weeks and then text what i said 2 get the 4 of us together?

  10. #10
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I accidentally blew it for my best friend and i need help fixing it

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewkrs27 View Post
    he has no way to set it up b/c he never sees her apparently. he was complaining to me after that it was 1 in a million that he saw her again

    so if i follow right, unless she texts back, i should wait 2 weeks and then text what i said 2 get the 4 of us together?
    Post in 2 weeks and I'll answer; otherwise you might be tempted to text sooner, in meantime game more women. Doing great!


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