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  • 1 Post By Grey2fox
  • 2 Post By meteora
  • 5 Post By Kyl3

Thread: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

  1. #1
    Hawksley is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    Alright, here's one a little different for you guys. I have a friend who is really into this girl. He has been for 6 years. However, he is a nice guy. He doesn't get it. And he gets frustrated that nothing ever comes from his advances with women. He is 35. I'm 24.

    I keep trying to give him pointers on what women don't like (since he does a lot of them) and tips on things to try. But he never listens. He never asks questions about it. He instantly brushes it off and says "nothing ever works", or "i just can't find the right sites" and to be honest, I don't think he's looked very hard because I have never once seen or heard him use any sort of neg or teasing at all. He dresses like a chump. Blue jeans and either a navy or black tshirt. ALWAYS.

    He has a lot going for him. He is funny. Great at acting, improv and accents. A fantastic cook and I've heard he gives good massages but that was from a 20 year old a few years back. Don't ask me why he was massaging a 20 year old. She left that evening pretty creeped out for some reason. I wonder why.

    Here is an example of something that happened the other day at one of our mutual friends bday. This friend, Nicole is her name, is the girl he has been into for several years. She is 29 and beautiful. Now, this part takes a bit of imagining. Nicole was sitting in a booth at a bar. To her left was another girl, and to the left of that girl was my friend, Darren, the hero of our story. The girl in the middle gets up to use the washroom and leave a gap in between Nicole and Darren. Nicole starts complaining about how cold she is on that side now and what does Darren do? He instantly slides himself over to fill that void, leaving his beer and food one spot away from him. What does Nicole do? She doesn't thank him or even turn to speak with him. She goes right back to her conversation with the friends on the other side of her. Then he justs sits there.

    If I was him, and she started complaining I would probably start teasing her and say something like "ohh, was that a hint? You think I'm just going to slide over there and fill up that hole? Nuh-uh! I'm not your slave" (holy shite now that I think about it, that is nearly perfect for sexual innuendo)

    So, how do I break it to him? I've tried, I really have. I want him to have the same sort of success and understanding that I do. But, he thinks he's going to turn into a jerk. Into someone he doesn't want to be.

    I'm also into this girl but it has only been this past week that we started getting closer. I think I need to tell my buddy to shit or get off the pot before I move in though. Out of respect really. She has been showing me some nice signs so I don't want to drag this shite out.

  2. #2
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    Are you a jerk? Does he know of your successes? Use yourself as an example and tell him he needs to change. He's 35 and he still hasn't realised that he needs to change. Everybody has faults and the successful ones are those that come into terms with their faults, accept them and learn to either live with them and or change for better.


    You say he is good at acting, improv, accents and not to mention he's a fantastic cook. I would kill to have any of those. From the sounds of it, he treats the women like they were the prize and ignores those amazing attributes that make him the best prize that most women would crawl through broken glass just to spend a few minutes with him. If he's afraid to turn into a jerk then you need to show him examples of people that are successful with women but aren't jerks.


    He has problems with self-esteem and self-confidence which have repercussions on his personality and identity leaving him four steps behind every opportunity as he's too busy contemplating the "What If". As a best friend, you're the only one equipped to snap him out of it and it will involve tough love and if he doesn't accept that then cut your losses as you don't really need to carry his luggage.

    Don't hold yourself back and introduce him to these types of forums. Basically show him the door and you turn around and walk away. Now it's up to him to walk through that door.

  3. #3
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    [QUOTE]So, how do I break it to him? I've tried, I really have. I want him to have the same sort of success and understanding that I do. But, he thinks he's going to turn into a jerk. Into someone he doesn't want to be.
    [/QUOTE]

    you can't fix everything, people have to want to change in order for them to change. you can't help everyone.

    i wouldn't waste my time helping him. most likely he just wants sympathy from his friends. he probably complains all the time about how he can't get the women he wants despite not doing anything to change.

    people like this are doomed to be unsuccessful most of their lives.

    you want to send him a message? bang this chick he's obsessing over. then tell him all about it down to every little detail. if that doesn't make him want to change, nothing will.

  4. #4
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    Meteora is right on the money.
    You can't change people who don't want to change. My twin brother for example, is really really bad at girls. He doesn't realize it, but I see the mistakes he makes. The sad thing is, if he just listened to me, he would seriously SLAY THE PU$$Y. HE WOULD GET WAY MORE GIRLS THAN ME.
    But that's because, he's 5 ft 10, 230lbs of solid muscle, and has crazy genetics.
    Ever hear the saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it? This applies here.
    You can sleep with that girl, but you will lose your best friend in the process. Debate whether or not it's worth it.
    Personally, I value my best friends over a girl, no matter what, it doesn't matter. TRUE best friends are super hard to come by, especially when you start getting to the top.

    Now, if he was just your friend, then that's where you decide. Personally, I think you SHOULD fark this girl. Or try to. It'll teach him a lesson, and possibly change his life. 2 years ago when I was still a chump, MY BESTFRIEND went behind my back, gamed my girlfriend at the time, she dumped me, then fucked him and had him take her virginity. I thought i loved that girl at the time and it broke me.
    But it made me the man I am today. So think about that.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    Damn Kyle, that's pretty intense. Do you still talk to that guy?

    Do what you need to do, if he is truly a good friend he will get over it. I banged my best friends cousin, and my other best friends little sister. I was upfront and honest with them the whole time, they appreciated it, and don't hate me for it. One of my best friends banged this girl I was dating (she wasn't my girlfriend) when I was gone for the weekend. He told me immediately, I called her and told her what I thought of her, and she CHASED me for three months! She said she would do ANYTHING to hang out with me again. I said HELL NO. Her pathetic attempts made me smile.

    I'm still great friends with all of these people, because I was upfront and honest. I didn't go behind their back. That's the moral of my story.

    I do want to add that women are not like men. They don't necessarily have this code of honor that men do. That's why Ex GF's will sleep with their ex's good buddies if the buddies are down for it (It's the excitement, women love excitement and doing things they aren't supposed to do). They will also try to seduce one of their friends boyfriends if they like him. It takes awhile to get used to that idea, because we are socialized so heavily that women are "good girls". It is what it is. There's nothing more true than this quote from a Mac Lethal song "The thing about your friends is they like to f*** your ex's. The thing about ex's is they have half your cd's."

  6. #6
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    As soon as it happened, I called him and told him I was beating his ass. Than he begged me not to & I told him to fuck off & to never talk to me again. Every time he saw me he would look the other way or avoid me at school. & we were co-workers. So yeah...
    I heard through a friend he fucked her. Whatever, it really hurt at the time but there was nothing I could do.
    He ended up going away for college by himself, since he slowly turned on and betraye all of his friends by the end of senior year. Went to the university, had a mental break-down between the stress of school/work, & everybody from our home-town still talking shit about him & hating him, & killed himself.

    So that's that. Do I feel sorry? No. He did it to himself, & no I didn't attend his funeral.
    Life isn't all rainbows and stuff, it is what you make it. If you want to be a shitty person, than you suffer the consequences.

  7. #7
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: OMG! My friend won't listen to me! Help!

    This thread is turning to the dark side 0.0


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