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Thread: Benefits from beng a PUA?

  1. #1
    Shark1804 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Benefits from beng a PUA?

    So, I'm new at this and I would like to know what other benefits has the PUA lifestyle had for you? Is there anything important or interesting that happened to you, not necessarily related to picking up women, thanks to the knowledge you've gained?

  2. #2
    Sleath5's Avatar
    Sleath5 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    Its about becoming a better man, a better person, and improving yourself. A huge thing about being here is improving your inner game, which is confidence of who you are, what you want, and what you don't want. By just having that, there will be a difference in how people act towards you in a generally positive manner. We go further, but I feel inner game is the most valuable asset you can get from PUA

  3. #3
    colinricharde is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    I totally agree. After my divorce I was left in a mess. PUA skills have helped me to become more confident and a nicer person as a result. I am better able to communicate with people in general and I think my conversations skills with women improve on a daily basis. Such skills should be compulsory - especially for slightly older males, like me, who have just come out of a very, very LTR.

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    So, I'm new at this and I would like to know what other benefits has the PUA lifestyle had for you? Is there anything important or interesting that happened to you, not necessarily related to picking up women, thanks to the knowledge you've gained?
    it has its advantages and disadvantages.

    advantages:
    -generally more confident in social situations.
    -a lot more comfortable at job interviews
    -better understanding of other people
    -more accepting of other people
    -better at public speaking
    -clearer communicator
    -better at dealing with nagging woman lol
    -a winning attitude that comes from facing failure after failure and not allowing it to hurt your self esteem.
    -a stronger willpower.
    -the desire to better other areas of your life
    -better at recognizing opportunities and exploiting them.
    -good stories to tell your guy friends
    -possibly more popular in general
    -and of course a better sex life.

    disadvantages:
    - objectifying woman makes you less sensitive to their feelings
    -pursuing multiple women while juggling work and friends can be exhausting (mentally and physically)
    - you will probably spend a good amount of money on dates, cover fees at clubs, alcoholic beverages, gasoline, condoms, books, expensive clothing and possibly even training (like how I took a boot camp that cost me roughly 2500$ altogether)
    -you may likely lose friends because of it.
    -it can be emotionally draining when you are having trouble with a woman, or when you hit dry spells.
    -you may end up overthinking about simple things that don't require much.
    - the possibility of having to deal with angry AFC's that want to fight.
    -possible alcoholism
    -possible sex addiction


    so before diving off the deep end into pua, think about how it could effect your life. if you already have an ok sex life, you probably don't need pua. also, if you aren't willing to put in lots of effort (likely several years of sarging once a week)
    every failure will eventually help fuel your success, just give it time and practice. learn from your mistakes.

  5. #5
    Shark1804 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    Thank you guys for your answers, they've helped me to put things in perspective. Especially what meteora said.

    Answering to your last paragraph, more precisely this fragment: " if you already have an ok sex life[...]", I have none and I get extremely nervous when talking to people I haven't met before (I'm starting to overcome that, but there's a long way until I overcome it completely), so I believe that the things I'll win are far more benefical than the things that I'll lose (also, I already suffer from most of the disadvantages you mentioned, so...)

    Once again thank you people, and get ready, because I'll be asking a lot of things from now on :P

  6. #6
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    I logged on here just to answer this, because I don't think I've ever responded to a question like this and wanted to.

    Xavier actually has a really good thread on this, it's old, but I still appreciate it and it deserves credit.

    Meteora also made some great points.

    I'm going to tell you, and everybody/anybody that ever reads this post, to leave "PICKUP" if you don't need it. It will ruin you. There is nothing awesome about getting 90% of the girls you want. Sure, awesome at first, but ultimately, horrible. Cody actually made a thread on it, which I love.
    It's all dark. Everything about it. A lot of previous "experts" have already talked about it, but one's time in this community and reading game is very limited. It gets to a point where you get it, and you leave.

    Meteora did a really good job of listing advantages. I'm going to expand on why PU is bad if you don't need it, mostly because it's easier and wanted it out there.

    Anyways, here is my list.

    Disadvantages

    1.) You will get REALLY REALLY GOOD at "getting" girls. It is impossible to get every girl, but that hottie in your class? Let's say 50% of the time, you KNEW you were going to end up hooking up with her in some way. Now let's expand that concept. Let's say with EVERY girl you talked to, you knew you were going to eventually hook up with her, 50% of the time.
    As you get better, and more experienced, with texting, qualifiers, just knowing how to handle situations, that percentage only increases, 60%, 70%, 80%. Sounds awesome right? NO. I don't even remember the last time I even felt excited from scoring a "hottie" Their is nothing awesome about knowing that you can manipulate a girl's feelings into what you want. I'll stop there.

    2.) Manipulation. You eventually get to the point where you KNOW you're manipulating a girl's feelings to get her to do what you want. Whether or not you're okay with that, is up to you.

    3.) Expensive. Getting girls means taking them places, doing fun things. This adds up, even if you do mostly free dates. Whether it be time invested, energy, emotion, money, it's expensive.

    4.) As for emotion, forget about it. Once you get to a certain level, you're going to just stop feeling things. Rejection doesn't even phase you in the least. Approach Anxiety? What's that. You don't get nervous, you don't feel anxiety, you don't feel excitement, you basically become an emotionless robot. It becomes nearly impossible to really connect with a girl, because you're constantly trying to run game, or you already know how she's going to react, and how to play out the situation to get what you want. You basically become a Sociopathic, ass hole. I am a sociopathic ass hole, and I don't like it. Lol
    Regardless, you will become more sociopathic over time.

    5.) You will lose all sensitivity for peoples feelings, like number 4. Which makes it hard to connect. It's not that you don't want to care, it's just, you don't, because you know that by caring you're losing power in the situation.
    Whoever cares the least holds all the power.

    6.) You will lose a lot of friends and I mean that. You will start to un-intentionally AMOG all your friends in social situations, or the people around you, and they won't like that. Only the guys who are okay with you being the leader, will be okay with that. Guys will start using you, just to hangout with your girls. Guys won't genuinely be your friend for you, they will be your friend because they admire you so much, and want to hangout with who you're hanging out with.
    Real friends are hard to come by at the top, so keep them close.

    7.) If you haven't lost all emotion yet, it WILL BE emotionally draining like Meteora said. Over-thinking situations, thinking about all the possibilities and how to play them out.

    Then when you have a girl come around that you genuinely like, and care about, and can't seem to close, it will drive you crazy, because the techniques aren't working. Make you feel like you're not doing something right, or that you aren't good enough.

    8.) Eventually you will burn out and leave anyways. You will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and realize girls aren't shit, and don't validate you in any way, and leave.

    9.) You will become way more socially aware in situations. Classrooms, workplace, etc. You will begin to see who the alpha males are, who the dominant males are, and who the pussies are. You will quickly learn how to play rooms, and win these guys over, to get the hottest girls. dhv stories, body language, etc, you will use it all to become the "alpha male"

    10.) Last but not least, it will make you feel like somebody you're not. If you're genuinely a natural, then this doesn't apply to you.
    But negging, running dhv stories on purpose, AMOGGING, routines, qualifiers, disqualifiers, etc, is all fake. It's all you, trying to make her feel special, and you not being yourself. I hate it when I see genuinely nice guys trying to neg girls to get them interested. It doesn't work, and even if it does in the short term somehow, good for you. You manipulated a girl into somehow kissing you. (pat on the back)

    The list got weak by the end, but that's because I got distracted half way through and half-assed it to the end. If you don't agree with them, I just want to let you know that I don't care in the least.

    Will be interested in how other experts respond. I hope you guys appreciate my list of negatives, and can hopefully expand on them with your own lists as well, if not copy paste and add to mine.

  7. #7
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    I logged on here just to answer this, because I don't think I've ever responded to a question like this and wanted to.

    Xavier actually has a really good thread on this, it's old, but I still appreciate it and it deserves credit.

    Meteora also made some great points.

    I'm going to tell you, and everybody/anybody that ever reads this post, to leave "PICKUP" if you don't need it. It will ruin you. There is nothing awesome about getting 90% of the girls you want. Sure, awesome at first, but ultimately, horrible. Cody actually made a thread on it, which I love.
    It's all dark. Everything about it. A lot of previous "experts" have already talked about it, but one's time in this community and reading game is very limited. It gets to a point where you get it, and you leave.

    Meteora did a really good job of listing advantages. I'm going to expand on why PU is bad if you don't need it, mostly because it's easier and wanted it out there.

    Anyways, here is my list.

    Disadvantages

    1.) You will get REALLY REALLY GOOD at "getting" girls. It is impossible to get every girl, but that hottie in your class? Let's say 50% of the time, you KNEW you were going to end up hooking up with her in some way. Now let's expand that concept. Let's say with EVERY girl you talked to, you knew you were going to eventually hook up with her, 50% of the time.
    As you get better, and more experienced, with texting, qualifiers, just knowing how to handle situations, that percentage only increases, 60%, 70%, 80%. Sounds awesome right? NO. I don't even remember the last time I even felt excited from scoring a "hottie" Their is nothing awesome about knowing that you can manipulate a girl's feelings into what you want. I'll stop there.

    2.) Manipulation. You eventually get to the point where you KNOW you're manipulating a girl's feelings to get her to do what you want. Whether or not you're okay with that, is up to you.

    3.) Expensive. Getting girls means taking them places, doing fun things. This adds up, even if you do mostly free dates. Whether it be time invested, energy, emotion, money, it's expensive.

    4.) As for emotion, forget about it. Once you get to a certain level, you're going to just stop feeling things. Rejection doesn't even phase you in the least. Approach Anxiety? What's that. You don't get nervous, you don't feel anxiety, you don't feel excitement, you basically become an emotionless robot. It becomes nearly impossible to really connect with a girl, because you're constantly trying to run game, or you already know how she's going to react, and how to play out the situation to get what you want. You basically become a Sociopathic, ass hole. I am a sociopathic ass hole, and I don't like it. Lol
    Regardless, you will become more sociopathic over time.

    5.) You will lose all sensitivity for peoples feelings, like number 4. Which makes it hard to connect. It's not that you don't want to care, it's just, you don't, because you know that by caring you're losing power in the situation.
    Whoever cares the least holds all the power.

    6.) You will lose a lot of friends and I mean that. You will start to un-intentionally AMOG all your friends in social situations, or the people around you, and they won't like that. Only the guys who are okay with you being the leader, will be okay with that. Guys will start using you, just to hangout with your girls. Guys won't genuinely be your friend for you, they will be your friend because they admire you so much, and want to hangout with who you're hanging out with.
    Real friends are hard to come by at the top, so keep them close.

    7.) If you haven't lost all emotion yet, it WILL BE emotionally draining like Meteora said. Over-thinking situations, thinking about all the possibilities and how to play them out.

    Then when you have a girl come around that you genuinely like, and care about, and can't seem to close, it will drive you crazy, because the techniques aren't working. Make you feel like you're not doing something right, or that you aren't good enough.

    8.) Eventually you will burn out and leave anyways. You will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and realize girls aren't shit, and don't validate you in any way, and leave.

    9.) You will become way more socially aware in situations. Classrooms, workplace, etc. You will begin to see who the alpha males are, who the dominant males are, and who the pussies are. You will quickly learn how to play rooms, and win these guys over, to get the hottest girls. dhv stories, body language, etc, you will use it all to become the "alpha male"

    10.) Last but not least, it will make you feel like somebody you're not. If you're genuinely a natural, then this doesn't apply to you.
    But negging, running dhv stories on purpose, AMOGGING, routines, qualifiers, disqualifiers, etc, is all fake. It's all you, trying to make her feel special, and you not being yourself. I hate it when I see genuinely nice guys trying to neg girls to get them interested. It doesn't work, and even if it does in the short term somehow, good for you. You manipulated a girl into somehow kissing you. (pat on the back)

    The list got weak by the end, but that's because I got distracted half way through and half-assed it to the end. If you don't agree with them, I just want to let you know that I don't care in the least.

    Will be interested in how other experts respond. I hope you guys appreciate my list of negatives, and can hopefully expand on them with your own lists as well, if not copy paste and add to mine.

    Lmao it's funny how you're so dead on right about the disadvantages. Sometimes when my game isn't working on one female I just feel like the whole world doesn't like me. But the advantages are so much better than disadvantages though because in the end there's only one reason people choose this and the simple fact is that we all want to be the best person we can be and that's why we do this. You never know when you might strike out ( I don't know about other people but I love when things don't always go my way because I know that I still need to improve and can get better )
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  8. #8
    theeights is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    Lol Kyle, that is full of awesome... and all points that nobody likes to talk about.

    I even stopped using routines and improvise everything I do... but it STILL feels like a gimick. I didn't always feel like it was manipulation because I did not always believe this stuff worked. If something only works half the time you use it, then it's not manipulation. Right? But then you get good and only fail to pull when something goes horribly wrong. Suddenly it really is manipulation. Do the same thing, get the same result. Women start looking like video game characters who always respawn in the same place and do the same thing. It's too easy.

    But that one time you screw up and get rejected can can an unsurmountable depression. As a chode, you expected rejection so it wasn't a big shock. But when you've built your whole self-identity as "someone who gets all the girls" it hits you so hard. Even though you can just try again and find someone else tomorrow.

    I disagree about being emotionless though. If anything I've gotten better at observing emotions whether in myself or others. Less fear maybe, but everything else is enhanced.


    Was it worth it to focus on picking up? Yes.
    Has it hurt like hell on many occasions? Yes.

  9. #9
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    There is no need to reinvent the wheel, so I won't go into a list as these guys covered most of it, but remember you can cherry pick this stuff. Go through a year or two doing your straight-forward PUA stuff so that you can learn about women in general. You NEED the emotional ups and downs and to go through some of the hard stuff, as it will help you grow as a person.

    The main thing I have gotten from this is the motivation and drive to do what I want with life. I could care less about being the "alpha" of the group. When I need to step into a leadership role, I step up and take charge. When someone else wants to do it, I let them and it doesn't bother me.

    I haven't read material for two years. I haven't used any cans or routines for even longer. The only reason I get on these forums any more is to offer advice because I get my fair share of booty and need some advice from time to time. Ultimately this path led me down a very dark road and I found my way out after a damn near mental breakdown, loosing myself and rebuilding to become the person I wanted to be.

    What I'm basically saying is that this is a tough path to head towards, but the pain can ultimately lead you out of problems like anxiety, depression and a lack of motivation or no sense of direction. This path will break you down completely, but at the end you will be able to rebuild yourself into the person you want to be.

    The hardest thing to do in life for those of us that have been raised with deep-rooted emotional flaws is to accept ourselves, and those of us lucky enough to survive this journey have found a way to do just that, and we have paid dearly for it.

    PS: The advantages of being comfortable in social situations, doing better in job interviews are a plus. One thing I don't believe was mentioned is that people have a higher opinion of you when you are well-dressed and respect you more, this leads to random and subtle advantages in life.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  10. #10
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Benefits from beng a PUA?

    Thank you guys for your answers, they've helped me to put things in perspective. Especially what meteora said.

    Answering to your last paragraph, more precisely this fragment: " if you already have an ok sex life[...]", I have none and I get extremely nervous when talking to people I haven't met before (I'm starting to overcome that, but there's a long way until I overcome it completely), so I believe that the things I'll win are far more benefical than the things that I'll lose (also, I already suffer from most of the disadvantages you mentioned, so...)

    Once again thank you people, and get ready, because I'll be asking a lot of things from now on :P
    yeah.. you could use pua

    welcome to the club.

    You basically become a Sociopathic, ass hole. I am a sociopathic ass hole, and I don't like it. Lol
    Regardless, you will become more sociopathic over time.
    kyle this statement right here pretty much sums up the disadvantages of pua lol

    I can relate to it very well because I was once a really nice guy who never got laid, but of course I was on the path to becoming a sociopath long before I found pua. all it did was make my sociopathic tendencies come out a lot more often.

    however I can't say I've gone completely off the deep end just yet, but I'm sure i'll be burnt out on pua eventually :/


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