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  • 1 Post By Suave Kino
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Thread: Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

  1. #1
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    Default Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

    As long as I have been learning and teaching pick up. There is one area in particular that I have yet to master and I don't know why. Luckily it has no effect on the outcome of my game but still it makes me wonder.

    Put me in a room of 8's, 9's, and 10's. I will be on fire. They will love me and we all will have a great time. I never lower my standards so it's rare I will ever even hit on a 7. These women NEVER blow me out even if I fail to spark any chemistry.

    I'm a believer in social proof. When I enter a venue, usually I'll work staff, guys, and women I don't find attractive in the first few minutes.

    The curious thing is that unattractive women shoot me down all the time. Well, at least they think they are because I'm not actually hitting on them. When I speak to unattractive women I'm speaking to them in the same fashion that I would speak to guys, fun, friendly, and casually. The thing is that when they think I'm hitting on them, they tend to shoot me down consistently. Of course, I find this to be both hysterical and ironic.

    Although, it doesn't affect me with any degree of significance it has always made me wonder. Does anyone else understand this dynamic?
    Last edited by Suave Kino; 04-20-2014 at 06:10 PM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

    I've honestly wondered this same exact thing Kino.

    (I hate giving girls numbers based on "hotness")

    Girls who are HB8's or hotter love me & are super easy to game or build chemistry with, while HB 7.5's or lower are exactly like you stated above.

    Very curious to hear an answer.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

    Kino, there was an old post that I responded to you regarding demographics. In that post, you mentioned were striking out with the ghetto girls, but successful with girls who are lawyers, teachers, etc. My answer was because you established an identity and you excelled at it. The reason was demographics and when you go after ghetto girls, you are fishing in the wrong pond. It won't work.

    "You always attract the person that you reflect."

    The principle of demographics and assortment theory holds true here as well when it comes to less attractive women.

    How does assortment theory work? Have you ever noticed that guys who are losers end up girls that are losers as well? The people with similar values and beliefs naturally end up with one another even if they don’t naturally talk about it. That’s because beliefs and mindsets inform behaviors. If you change the belief and Mindset, the behaviors follows. So if a guy is very sexist, how is he going to behave around a woman? He will probably be condescending. Less open to her views. Less impressed about her professional achievements. And if a woman has those beliefs, how is she going to behave? She is going to listen more, talk less about her personal achievements, she’s going to be submissive to the man she is talking to. So they naturally are going to develop a chemistry.

    The more you study/observe the relationships around you, the more you will see it. Even if it looks like opposites attract, it is not! (And Kyl3, we spoke about this in email.)

    So applying it to your situation and breaking it down...

    You are now an attractive guy due to all your PUA training and knowledge. You are socially savvy. A social 'superman.'

    Having said that, women who are attractive are the one's who will find you attractive. Why? Because you connect with them. These women are not only physically attractive, but because of that, they are usually socially savvy themselves. After dealing with so many men, they have their own standards...a higher standard.

    So if you are a mutant with superpowers, it is natural that you will connect with other mutant women (In X-Men, they call 'em homo sapien superior). You are on the same playing field as them.

    Conversely, women who are not attractive probably have lower self esteem, which means they have lower standards, and the guys who approach them and guys they are attracted to will reflect those standards. And even if you try hitting on them, it won't work. Their self-esteem and limiting beliefs will prevent it. Socially, it is almost as if you were from two different cultures. You don't resonate.

    That is why you hear the term "Birds of a feather flock together" These women are not of your feather.

    So, yes, it is ironic and hysterical that the 'dogs' are shooting you down, but that is good. You probably wouldn't want them anyways. I say leave 'em alone to gnaw on AFC meat.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

    Thanks Immortal, I will be replying to your email shortly, and if I could like this post 10x I would.

    Very interesting to think about. Just the fact that a girl can have limiting beliefs, and do to assortment theory, you can be too attractive for her to give you a serious chance. I guess it's just still weird to me to think that girls have can limiting beliefs like guys do, even after all this time.

    Or the fact that a girl will shut a guy down because he's too good looking or too attractive.

    I 100% believe in assortment theory in the long run, but in the short term, it's still very interesting that you can build attraction in a girl with low self-esteem by running lots of qualifiers on her, and not complimenting her looks, to make her feel like you guys really connect, and that their is chemistry there.

    But it also makes you think, if a girl is super cute, let's say a HB9, but she was home-schooled, and never really got to socialize with fellow kids her age. Would she eventually settle with somebody who was super AFC and an ugly dude due to assortment theory and her not being able to get a high self-esteem through peers complimenting her and talking to her and experiencing life like a normal child? Would she find that dude attractive due to limiting beliefs and a farked up childhood? Or would she go for a guy who was socially savvy or a really attractive dude.

    That's a little out there, but it's food for thought, even though I could be completely wrong about it.

    Very interesting to think about, even though that is an entirely hypothetical situation. ^

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Kino's Quandry (Random Musing)

    But it also makes you think, if a girl is super cute, let's say a HB9, but she was home-schooled, and never really got to socialize with fellow kids her age. Would she eventually settle with somebody who was super AFC and an ugly dude due to assortment theory and her not being able to get a high self-esteem through peers complimenting her and talking to her and experiencing life like a normal child? Would she find that dude attractive due to limiting beliefs and a farked up childhood? Or would she go for a guy who was socially savvy or a really attractive dude.

    That's a little out there, but it's food for thought, even though I could be completely wrong about it.

    Very interesting to think about, even though that is an entirely hypothetical situation. ^
    Kyl3, it's funny you brought it this up because this is the exact same scenario that happened to one of my best friends back home. His wife was home-schooled, for high school she went to an all girl school, parents are divorced and she doesn't get along with her mom. The end result is a girl who is smart but socially dysfunctional. For a while, all she did was stay in her room. Although I try to be nice, I just can't connect with her and we sometimes get into arguments. She has like no charisma at all! Oh yea, she was cute (like Hayden Panettiere cute before my friend just kept feeding her and made her fat).

    My best friend grew up with a very strict and whacky dad who grounded him for stupid sh1t, made him join all kinds of extra curricular activities, etc. The result was a smart guy who is not socially savvy, lacks some social etiquette, likes to keep to himself, he doesn't like porn or talking about sex, hates facebook, he hates networking and jumping through political hoops, and in high school he only befriended the school rejects.

    Naturally these two ended up together and had tremendous chemistry on their D1. Both of them, ended up with someone who is pretty much a reflection of themselves or at least complemented each other. They found each other attractive.

    The funny thing is this. In high school, my friend had a real hottie chasing him. She was tall brunette with model good looks. But, he just wasn't interested in her at all. We always joked and said he was stupid. But it goes back to assortment theory. He didn't find the hot girl attractive, but he did for his wife. I suppose he is attracted to social rejects. I always joke that he takes in "strays."

    A 2nd scenario is I have a friend that lives in Chicago. She is pretty much damaged goods. Sexually molested at childhood, broken family, an artsy introvert who likes to play computer games and the violin, and doesn't have many friends. I shared with her a picture of me and three friends in Vegas. One was a player with model good looks, another is a good looking body builder, and his friend who was a pudgy latino guy. She said she found the pudgy latino guy most attractive.

    Those are my experiences. But I believe much of our early upbringing and people in our lives shapes our beliefs.


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