My sister lived in Auckland for a while, I lived there as well for 2 years. My sister while there met Lindsey and they became basically best friends. I met her when I moved over but was just casual acquaintances. She was dating Jack who was quite a bit older than her. They broke up and she moved to New York.
6 months ago Lindsey came over to help my sister with some of her wedding prep, and we got along really well. Lindsey had loved NYC but was unable to get a full extension for her visa, had moved back to Auckland and gotten back together with Jack. They got engaged but had just broken it off but were still living together due to financial concerns on a property they had rented (2 bedrooms). She was messaging me on FB or texting me 1-2 times a week but as I have been going out like mad for the last year and had dated someone semi seriously so I always joked but never put in much effort.
We go for my sisters destination wedding and she is my bridesmaid, for 4 days. We flirt like mad but due to some terrible circumstances nothing happens until the wedding day. The wedding night I basically just pull her away from everyone, she says 'I can't, at my friends wedding her brother hooked up with her bridesmaid and now they don't talk, she said it was a terrible idea'. I can't remember what I say but she runs off to ask my sister if it is ok... My sister is awesome and says it would be amazing. Rest of the night is awesome with us getting along really well her coming back to my room, but no sex (her time of the month). We talk about me coming to see her, I had a trip planned to Welli and Auckland anyway, and her coming to meet me on a holiday I'm going on soon.
We talk a fair amount until I head to Auckland, but she is a bit distant. She is very excited to see me. I bring sweets you can't get in Auckland for everyone I'm seeing, including some for our mutual friends kid, I know she won't have any so buy her a small funny present instead. The dates go better than any I've been on. She agrees. We talk about one of us moving back or our next trip to see each other. She is broke atm so says she can't come back I offer to pay as I know she is having a shit time at work and wants to see family here, but she says she can't take my offer. Again we don't sleep together despite her staying with me just due to the time of the month, drink some duty free champagne in my room.... At the end I say I will contact her sometime next week.
I leave Mon night. My sister messages her she says she can't believe how well we get along but that she is having a terrible week. I find out after breaking up with her fiancée she had started dating her bosses bosses boss. Only to find out he had a fiancée. They break up, then when she gets back from my sisters wedding he says he has split up with her, then 1 week before he goes to SF with the fiancée. I talk to my sister she tells me this and says I should send flowers, which I do with a funny note rather than being serious. She obviously loves them and replies sends multiple thank you texts.
I send her a text on the Sunday seeing if she has time for a chat. I've just been given 2k flight vouchers for my birthday to help travel around Europe. We joke a little I say I have some vouchers and given flights are really cheap atm rather than waiting a month why don't I come over for my birthday or she comes here. She says that would be great but she doesn't want to be pressured and that she will email me Tuesday with when she would be free
Monday night I send her a message about something funny she will enjoy. Then Wed I message her to remind her to pick up her shoes from the hotel that I stayed at, and a joke about our next date weshould do a picnic using The Most Hilarious Way To Have A Picnic.
She sends back 'this is all a bit much for me.
It would be good to catch up with you as a friend, but I'm not really after more than that.
I'm still very hurt from the relationships I've just come out of, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure'
I sent back one email basically saying 'totally fine, it's hard to start something long distance' and she replied and I left it for a week
She messaged me on my birthday a couple of funny things, I left it for a bit and replied and we haven't spoken since (1 week).
Additional info, I think my sister messaged her a bit and I know 4 of her friends are getting divorces/separating. I think she is a bit jaded atm.
So I realize I have obviously come down with oneitis but to be honest I've been on a huge number of dates in the last few years and I get along better with this girl than any other. From talking to my sister she is still into me. I'm still seeing other girls back home but I haven't really enjoyed any of the dates although I have slept with the girls.
So what do I do. My sister says she will help, she feels a bit responsible. I'm flying through Auckland in 3 weeks. My sister is also keen to head there in Sept for a trip that I was going to go on with some other friends.