Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 16 of 16
Like Tree8Likes

Thread: Post-fight actions

  1. #11
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    Use the principles of gaming to help you. Don't chase the money--let the money chase you.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  2. #12
    noddyomg is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 79, Level: 1
    Level completed: 58%, Points required for next Level: 21
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    13
    Points
    79
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    If anyone is interested to know how the situation has developed: I went to see her last Wednesday. She tried to get out of it a couple of hours before, but I insisted we needed to talk and she complied. Basically, she has what I call Ďvictim complexí, making out that she was the victim in this situation. She said that she was really impacted by my behaviour and she felt really nervous seeing me. I explained that I donít like the way she treated me and she doesnít like the way I reacted so we should make an effort not to repeat that situation.
    As far as the money is concerned, she says she has applied for an extension to her overdraft so she can pay me back some of it. This was nearly a week ago. Iíve asked other locals here and they say the banks normally tell you in the moment that you ask, and there is never normally a problem (as itís like a standard bank service) unless you have a really bad history. She says she still hasnít had a response.
    She said I had been weird with her before the argument. I admit I have been different with her, but I havenít done anything wrong or rude. I have just been doing things differently to how she expects. She is used to having me where she wants me, me being available to hang out, but Iíve not been like that, Iíve been breaking the unwritten rules, changing the balance of power. I asked her to give me an example of what Iíve done thatís weird and she couldnít give me one single example.
    She said Iím easily influenced by my new friends. This is based on the fact that I got drunk once a week and a half ago. I have never got drunk around her, so she thinks itís not normal for me, when I have got drunk on numerous occasions since I was 16 (Iím now 26). She wasnít even there when I got drunk so I pointed out that it doesnít concern her, and nobody else had a problem with me getting drunk. She has no other basis for the argument that Iím easily influenced, and I havenít even made any new friends in months. I kept asking what this had to do with the money, and she didnít have an answer for that either.
    In summary, Iím not sure I want to be with someone so unreliable, selfish and generally a little bit fucked up in the head. Iím not sure I want to be friends with her either. My main concern now is getting my money back. That is essential for me to even think about being friends with her, let alone anything more.

  3. #13
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,497, Level: 42
    Level completed: 74%, Points required for next Level: 53
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Back for a limited time.
    Posts
    437
    Points
    4,497
    Level
    42
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    207

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    I would honestly just sue her to get your money back, that much is worth going to court over man. I would NEVER send someone that much money man.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  4. #14
    noddyomg is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 79, Level: 1
    Level completed: 58%, Points required for next Level: 21
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    13
    Points
    79
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    Yep, a lesson learned the hard way. I wouldn't have trusted just anyone with that amount of money, now I won't trust anyone at all

  5. #15
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,719, Level: 43
    Level completed: 85%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 53.0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    820
    Points
    4,719
    Level
    43
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
    Rep Power
    238

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    Ive had cases like this happen to me before. Ultimately i've paid for it but they alway had karma to screw with them. I've always been able to seperate the issues at hand from one problem to the next but others tend to not be able to. Thats always a struggle. Most people are out for themselves and don't wantto be responsible for their actions. The fact that she still makes it a poit about you being weird and deflecting from the money issue its a clear sign that she's trying to not take responsibility. She's trying to make it out to be a misunderstanding and although it might be--it was still your money in the end. And in no way does it sound like her income is near that high as what you sent her via paypal. If it was she'd compromise with you. All she seems to be doing is doing the bare minimum in repairing the situation.

    Out of curiosity, did you lead the conversation with solutions that would be acceptable to you? Or did you let her make up her mind on how to fix it? I bring it up because it's not a relationship issue as much as its a financial necessity issue. With that said i hope you led.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  6. #16
    noddyomg is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 79, Level: 1
    Level completed: 58%, Points required for next Level: 21
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    13
    Points
    79
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    7

    Default Re: Post-fight actions

    For anyone who's interested in knowing how this developed, I'm very relieved to say I recovered all the money, every last dime. I got it all back about a month ago. It wasn't pretty, but I managed to get back what I was owed and it was enormous weight off my shoulders.

    So I know now that she's not a thief, so that's something. However, I decided I don't anything more to do with her.

    About 3 weeks before I got it all back, we had another massive argument, this time by phone. I know I can't relate an unbiased version of events, but I believe she was being ridiculously over-defensive, displaying a victim complex like none I've ever seen before. Prior to this argument I'd actually offered her help and she threw it back in my face, saying that it wasn't enough, as if I owed her more (and I don't think I owed her anything at all. Au contraire, she owed me!)

    I took a trip for a week the day after this argument, and this allowed me to gain some perspective. I realised that she was actually being a complete arsehole and my feelings for her had been clouding my judgement. I decided that I had to keep her sweet until I got my money back but after that I would have nothing more to do with her. (For the record, on that trip I banged a hot Brazilian chick too. Whoop!)

    I left the matter alone for a couple of weeks after I got back. Then I asked her for an update on the situation. She said she still didn't know when she would get paid. I said that wasn't good enough and she needed a plan B (it had been about 5 weeks since she lost my money and had not given me any indication as to when or how she would play me back. Every question I asked her about the matter she just fobbed me off and said "I don't know". I'd had enough of this and decided I had to turn the screw). She told me not to tell her what to do. I said I would be in touch in a few days' time.

    About 3 days later (it was a Friday) she wrote to me saying she would be paid on the Monday. On the Monday she paid me everything back.

    In summary, a lesson learned the hard way. I will never trust anywhere near that amount of money in anyone except my closest family. I also dodged a bullet. I had considered this girl to be girlfriend material. Although she may not be a thief, I've learned that she is hands down the most selfish person I know (not just with the money thing, but prior to that, she'd been very selfish too). She has a victim complex that, unless she gets over it, will destroy every relationship she gets into. At no point did she ever ask if I was ok for money or even pretend to give half a rat's arse about anyone other than herself. If I'd got into a relationship with her I would have got really hurt at some point.

    So, lessons learned, bullets dodged and money recovered. Onwards and upwards! I'm now working on other areas my game. Thanks, guys, for your advice during what was quite a stressful time.


Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. help me understand HB8 actions
    By striker12 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 12-04-2012, 02:43 PM
  2. opinion please!!!! Do I go for one last fight?
    By chris230692 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 9
    Last Thread: 10-19-2012, 04:40 AM
  3. First post. Help me fight this s**t test.
    By soundmouse in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 12
    Last Thread: 08-20-2012, 07:13 PM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 07-12-2012, 01:18 AM
  5. When to fight and when to next?
    By ShinRa in forum General Questions
    Replies: 25
    Last Thread: 11-25-2011, 10:42 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com