I have been simultaneously delighted, angry and sad since discovering PUA. It shows me the missing puzzle piece that affects me all the way back to the beginning and I become very angry at myself for at all the missed opportunities, failed attempts, self-doubt, etc. There have been some major changes throughout my life, but this is core.
My discovery is catalyzed by a botched PU from a HB8 who threw herself at me. When I read the forums, I hit a trigger sentences or phrases that stuns me for the rest of the day. I see glimpses of how it could have been versus how I handled it. As alphas, we're not supposed to feel negativity, but what I feel is also metamorphic - a mirror that shows me who I should be contrasted with who I am. My response is initially dramatic, but I eventually calm down because my beta habits must be conquered to become a PUA and better man in general.
I'm interested in knowing how others deal with these internal changes.