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Thread: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

  1. #11
    LockDown's Avatar
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Lol sounds like a flirt-ationship.

    More power to u bro. I was thinking oneitis as well so I'm glad it's not that. Just please keep her value relative. She maybe a great girl but they do exist elsewhere lol.

    I trust you enough to let u do ur own thing anyway man. You've given me way way more great advice than I can remember. Have fun!!!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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  2. #12
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    I'm probably the least experienced person commenting on this but i think i'm seeing things a bit differently and similar to some of the views posted above... But i think you friend zoned her already. Everything has been clear to me that you decided not to push things into a direction that would have redefined her value to you. I think i'm probably stating the obvious but even if it was or is an open relationship if she's willing to sleep with you while being committed to another guy its obvious that should she later dump him for you she'd still be capable of doing the same to you as she has with her ex. And whose to say when she gets back into cali that she wont think of you while kissing or f-ing her ex?

    I think you played your cards fairly as you saw them. She doesnt give you credit to it because she's protecting herself by projecting how she could potentially fall for you.in a world of psychology when most people project their fears of someone else's actions it also presents their fear of the consequences as well. She obviously has more guilt than she's letting on. What you are assuming as misrepresentation of what your intentions were seem clear to me that thats what she was looking for. You had already gone 3 dates in and didnt push--to me that says you were being cautious. Nothing about that or the previous meant exclusivity to me. Everything else was her way of trying to keep you in her pocket incase things blow up. She's projecting more about what she wants than what she's really examining in my opinion.

    Friend zoning her is one obvious move to make. Many more options to come by making that choice. I'm curious if she'll start to pine for more of your attention the more you pull back.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Quote Originally Posted by The Red Baron View Post
    Direct - I tend to agree with Cody more or less. In this case it wasn't a question of sexual confidence, and it got heated enough that it was clear to her, it was a conscious decision to say no. And I know Cody and how he can hold a frame, him saying no is certainly showing selection and not insecurity.
    I wasn't referring to you nor Cody saying no because of sexual insecurity. To clarify, I was saying that even if you say no because of other reasons, women will lose interest because you had the opportunity and didn't take it.

    If you like the girl and you have the chance to take it to another level and don't they will lose interest. Some more than others, but they expect you to take it there when the opportunity arises.

    In your situation I guarantee that if you banged her when you could have you would have been sleeping with her this whole time. Now she's questioning the idea. Basically you put doubts in her head. Who knows why she has doubts, but never underestimate a woman's ability to talk herself into believing ANYTHING.

    Sounds like you're teetering on the edge, but honestly, I think you're leaning more towards f-buddy status instead of friend. With the Mindset you currently have and other girls in the rotation I'm confident you will close the deal. If you don't it doesn't matter. It all feels the same anyways!

  4. #14
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I wasn't referring to you nor Cody saying no because of sexual insecurity. To clarify, I was saying that even if you say no because of other reasons, women will lose interest because you had the opportunity and didn't take it.

    If you like the girl and you have the chance to take it to another level and don't they will lose interest. Some more than others, but they expect you to take it there when the opportunity arises.

    In your situation I guarantee that if you banged her when you could have you would have been sleeping with her this whole time. Now she's questioning the idea. Basically you put doubts in her head. Who knows why she has doubts, but never underestimate a woman's ability to talk herself into believing ANYTHING.

    Sounds like you're teetering on the edge, but honestly, I think you're leaning more towards f-buddy status instead of friend. With the Mindset you currently have and other girls in the rotation I'm confident you will close the deal. If you don't it doesn't matter. It all feels the same anyways!
    Farking epic brah! I agree 1 million percent. I had exactly the same situation. We all know about my FWB in my current rotation but basically I picked her up at the Club a couple months back and have been dating ever since. The first night we were hanging out she came in for a kiss and I rejected her which caused her to go cold and later resist my advances to fool around. Recently she was flirting with other guys. But I said screw them and on another hang out with a previous dude she was fawning over she completely phased out cuz I was hugging all over her and grabbing her all night which is not what I am used to doing. Due to this her interest level is going back up and I am starting to tease her about sexual innuendos since I figure she doesn't sleep with me when we are alone so I better start talking about it. Again great advice!!

    On that note I agree it was my frame that caused her to go cold and she was warming up to the idea of sleeping together but it was my own qualification telling me I didn't want her cause she wasn't my type aka a 10. Either way she is warming up to me again cuz I am warming up to her but I willknow how to better play it next time. I am really excited to meet someone new but she just won't go away no matter what I do so I figure why not start joking about sex and see what happens...
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
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  5. #15
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    I tend to agree with Cody more or less. In this case it wasn't a question of sexual confidence, and it got heated enough that it was clear to her, it was a conscious decision to say no. And I know Cody and how he can hold a frame, him saying no is certainly showing selection and not insecurity.

    Thanks, RB.

    To clarify, I was saying that even if you say no because of other reasons, women will lose interest because you had the opportunity and didn't take it.

    I mostly agree with this, although I've shut down plenty of girls that continue to be attracted to me (yes, even after a year of being in a committed relationship). But yes, I understand and agree with the premise.

    If you like the girl and you have the chance to take it to another level and don't they will lose interest. Some more than others, but they expect you to take it there when the opportunity arises.

    Yup, agree with this too.

    In your situation I guarantee that if you banged her when you could have you would have been sleeping with her this whole time. Now she's questioning the idea. Basically you put doubts in her head. Who knows why she has doubts, but never underestimate a woman's ability to talk herself into believing ANYTHING.

    Meh, this is a tough thing to guarantee. I think everybody needs to stop and step back for a second. We need to stop being a bunch of bros trying to fix a problem--there is no problem. This is the Members Lounge. This isn't about teaching; it's about experiences. If somebody happens to learn from this, cool, but (correct me if I"m wrong RB) this is just a guy sharing a story in progress with his friends. All of the things that you're (Direct) saying would be valid if he had a clear cut and defined goal with this girl, which he has said that he doesn't. He's also obviously not coming from a place of need seeing how he's got other girls on call. Sometimes we simply write to make sense of things and like others to read it, not because we have a problem that needs fixed.

    I understand that this is a forum and expository writing isn't a very popular thing (especially on forums). But I like it. I like knowing what's going on with your life, RB, so I'll keep checking back.

    Lastly,

    I also cringe at the term "good girl". There really is no such thing based on society's definition. It's awesome when a girl is selective and stands up for herself, but she still REALLY enjoys sex and will sleep with a guy she just meets, even if she believes otherwise. It's nice to believe there's such a thing, but my experiences scream otherwise. If you're good enough at seduction the sky's the limit, and limiting beliefs like "good girls" will destroy your success. I believe a "good girl" is a good person. Her sexual history holds no importance for me.

    I'm not really going to take the time to rip this apart other than a few points and overall saying that I disagree. Some people don't like ketchup--some people don't like sleeping with somebody they just met. It's as simple as that. If your definition of success is dependent on the women you are able to seduce, I'm afraid that's pretty sad. I can say that because I used to determine my success on how many women I was able to seduce. It was a bad wake up call when I started to realize that there was a lot more to life. Game is fun and cool, no doubt about that, but if that's the only thing you've got going for you that's a dangerous place to be. Even Tyler Durden has said that.

    I think you misunderstood what I meant by women with value and took it for "good girls". Like you, I don't care about a woman's sexual history. Value is determined by what you bring to the table. Once you realize that plenty of women are good at sucking d*ck, you start to choose the women that are good at sucking d*ck as well as other things (like a career, making you genuinely happy, etc). Then you leave the women that are only good at sucking d*ck to the guys who don't expect any more.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  6. #16
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Conclusion: I F closed :-) .
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  7. #17
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Did she pull the gun or you? Lol
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  8. #18
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Congrats! I think she may become a steady gf for u man
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  9. #19
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    I wanted to post slightly more story at some point, I'll keep it as brief as I can but I'm really not good at that lol.

    For starters, I don't expect her to be my GF. She'd be good material for sure but I don't think she sees that route, just F buddies, which will work out. I'll elaborate more in a bit.

    Basically over the last few weeks I was keeping things as sexual as possible. Stuff like teasing her about the slutty costume, both in order to A: make sure my sexual interests were known, and B: to put her head in that place as much as possible.

    So over texting I did some role playing, talking up the opportunity, then invited her over for a bonfire, drinks, smores, etc. Before we got to the bonfire I had her admitting how much she wanted me and wanted to play, and telling me what was going through her head. Somehow I definitely gained control of the frame here.

    So, bla bla, bonfire, we close. Those details are not necessary.

    That's the main background I wanted to share on this story.

    Now a new potential development.

    At some point she asked if my roommate was bringing anyone home and said we should have a foursome (mostly jokingly). I told her and said I'm down for a foursome, with 3 girls of course.

    This led to me asking if she's ever had a threesome. No, of course she hasn't, but outside of the 2 boyfriends I learned her first "significant other" ever was actually a girl in college. Eventually she realized she prefers dicks all along, but was at least curious about the idea.

    Here's the thing, I have pulled 3 somes on 3 different occasions, they're fun.

    Whats more -

    This girl is coming to my Halloween party next weekend, gonna be a huge party, lots of women. I never invited her until I learned she was taken previously, I don't invite girls I'm dating to parties because I don't want complications with girls I'm at early stages of gaming, or complications between multiple girls I'm dating in the same room with the "so how do you know each other?"

    Okay, so there's another girl coming to my party, I haven't seen her in a bit over a year but we did fool around before and have done a 3some together before. So I told this girl (veterinarian - girl A) that girl B would be coming and perhaps we should play.

    Girl A actually reacted positively that I would have other prospects there for myself- which indicates low emotional attachment / gf material, great F buddy material meanwhile. She also didn't brick wall the 3 some idea, which in my experience of orchestrating these before means it's quite possible, at least the seed has been planted.

    Now, I will feel the situation at the party out, but if the opportunity is there, perhaps I will follow up with a brief note about pulling another 3 some, or, god forbid a 4 some (with 3 girls) - my ultimate dream one day.

    BTW, both of these girls are very hot.
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  10. #20
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    Default Re: RB - So I've finally been friend zoned

    Quote Originally Posted by LockDown View Post
    Wow RB, Cody, Meteora all on the same thread? Have I been transported back to 2012??? All we need is Autismus, TMal, Xavier and Tyrone1991 to check in lol!
    I'm heavily disappointed




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