I’m not asking for help, just decided I was going to post a story here.
I’ve been in the game for a while, less active on the forums the last few years, but I still lead a lot of events in the Minneapolis lair here. Love it.
I’m going to summarize as much as I can. Oh, and I say “finally” because this doesn’t really happen to me. I mean girls flake on me all the time, but if I get to a second date, I know what I’m doing well enough that I’ve never been pushed to FZ, only if I want to FZ them.
Broke up with my gf of 1.5 years in July. It was a messy breakup.
Meet new girl in August. Went on maybe 3 dates. It was great, she’s a Veterinarian, mad hot, very high value. Learn she’s only had 2 boyfriends, and those are the only people she’s ever slept with. Didn’t tell her my number because its much much higher. So third date sexual Tension was at its peak and I could have slept with her, she even asked me later why I didn’t.
Real reason – she was leaving that week to Cali for 2 weeks, and I didn’t want to use her and knew I had to have the MLTR talk first, and figured it would be best to do that when she got back. I’ve been on other dates and had 2 other girls I was sleeping with over the next few weeks anyway. And I wasn’t ready for a super commitment, but if I had to choose one, like I said she’s got a ton of value, least dramatic girl I’ve ever dated.
So, she leaves. I get a text after a week that she got back together with her ex kinda and doesn’t know where she’s at.
fark. I’m not mad or upset, disappointed, but I understand. She’s 26 and has only had 2 relationships and I 100% understand where her head is at, and why she got back with him (he lives in Cali as well, but was not the purpose of her trip at all, she wasn’t going to see him but ended up seeing him out there).
I’m actually kinda relieved. See I know that this is not going to work for her, I know this is a mistake, but it’s a mistake she has to make and learn herself. I actually figure this may work out, maybe it blows up in 3 months, and maybe at that time after playing around single again maybe I’ll be ready for something more, because this chick is great.
So, RB thinks strategy to self – well, let’s at least keep in occasional contact so that in a few months the long fuse is still simmering and can be re-lite. So I do that, after she gets back, mid-late September we hit the dog park once and chill. Just once, didn’t wanna be super friend-like, but she loved my dog, good chance to connect once, etc. Going good.
Supposed to go do something last Saturday, loose plans. I cancel because Friday night I brought a couger back and was up till who the hell knows when, and im mad hung over. No biggie.
Sunday (okay at this point its been a month after she got back with her ex), I get a text from her
“Would you have sex with me purely to get back at my ex?”
LMAO…. Sigh. TLDR – basically, it blew up, he already was sleeping with other people. But I know how her mind works. She’s down, depressed, been very clear about that, and I’m pretty sure even if I attempted to pursue it she’d end up backing out, or at best it would make her more emotionally conflicted. Remember, 2 boyfriends so far in her life. I tell her she can swing by the next evening for a movie just as a distraction.
So now we are at Monday, she does, we cuddle on the couch but that’s it. It’s all good.
Now I’m torn between Sunday to Wedensday, because she’s telling me things about him, and I know how breakups work, I know what was going through his head and going through her head now, and I can explain everything to her – BUT I cant play the role of – yea you can come cry on my shoulder over ex (because that’s automatic friend zone). But I do give her some advice, simple stuff on why people do these things. It seems to help.
Wednesday she comes over for another movie (we previously started the Bourne series and had to finish the third, duh). The rest of the story and thought process is all Wednesday:
Now I know, she’s caught up on ex. I get it, I don’t mind, I have 2 other girls I’m dating anyway. But I like this girl, so maybe we make minor progress.
I’m rubbing her back, which she loves. She lets me have my hand up the back of her shirt, no resistance. Even lays down so I can rub everything. I understand whats going through her head, at least I think so. She likes the attention, the distraction, she maybe wants more to happen but cant pursue it herself – the whole, “plausible deniability”. I get it.
So I’m rubbing her back, arms, intertwining fingers. I kiss her neck, all accepted with no resistance, turn her head for a kiss… REJECTED
HB: “I’m only going to be thinking about him”
RB: “I don’t care, just kiss me”
More dialogue, didn’t go anywhere. She’s happy to keep getting massages, keep cuddling, but I could not break that barrier. I told her I'm going to try to kiss her again, and she said "I know, but I know you will stop when I say no, and if you don't I'll probably stop coming over." She even mentioned at one point previously “there’s no way we would have worked out anyway.” She’s probably right, but that’s never a reason not to see.
Oh well, she was a bad kisser anyway lol. But she’s still texting me yesterday and today. Will monitor where this plays out the next few months.
Meanwhile, I have a new date tonight and a different girl I like tomorrow (not as much as I liked this one tho).
Hope you guys enjoyed my story, I’ll try to post more