Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 3,686, Level: 38
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 114
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Western Burbs of IL
    Posts
    95
    Points
    3,686
    Level
    38
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts
    Rep Power
    154

    Default Need Help Getting My Brain Right...

    Hey guys. I've been into pickup for awhile. I recently had a little backwards slide, just went through a little period of depression, I guess. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to do much, I wasn't having much fun. I realize it. And I'm trying to fix it. But, well, nothing is really feeling good to me right now.

    I have studied lots of self-help. I've done Tao Of Badass, Stealth Attraction, and several others. My game is tight. I have two girls right now who come over about once a week to hook up with me. They both know I'm seeing other people and are just happy to be around me. In other words, my game is still pretty tight. It's just that... I don't really give a shit. I'm not excited by much these days.

    I guess I'm just looking for whatever advice anybody might have about getting my mood into a better place. I guess getting back into the gym would be a step in the right direction, eh? What else though. Any and all thoughts are appreciated. Quantitatively, my life is pretty good right now, I'm just not feeling like it...
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  2. #2
    6pack is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 102, Level: 2
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 15.4%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    2
    Points
    102
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need Help Getting My Brain Right...

    Great post, as I registered here last night and came here for the exact same purpose...to find out why I am sliding backwards, as you put it.


    I dont have any advice for you right now...I dont want to hijack your thread, but let me explain my scenario, and lets see if we can, together, work out what is going wrong for us.

    I had (and in many, still do have) great game, but this last year, I have just not been feeling it, and have had really sloppy results...I still did manage to sleep with five different girls over the last year, but for all the other effort I put in, my results were just...weird. Girls flaking out for no reason, dropping off the face of the earth, friends vanishing and not inviting me for things anymore, etc.

    I have become somewhat of a hermit over the last several months too...working a lot, but just not wanting to get out and do anything...not wanting to approach, etc.

    Your situation is very similar to me in many ways...I am in Chicago. I have known about pickup/game since 2002 (I first learned all this when I discovered the David DeAngelo material) and had more than 12 years of great progress, personal growth, and great times...had gotten to the point where I *always* had a girlfriend, or at least had a girl around.

    In 2012, I decided to move from Chicago, to Dallas...that had been a goal for a while for me. I made that happen, got there, and met a girl, really nice, attractive, but had terrible diagnosed personality disorders (depression, bi-polar etc). I dated her for 18 months, then decided Dallas wasnt for me and I broke up with her, and left to come back to Chicago. However, right before moving, I realized moving back to Chicago was going to be a mistake, and tried to put the brakes on it and stay, but could not do so in time, and wound up returning. As soon as I got back, I realized I had made a major mistake.

    I got here, met someone right away, and dated for 3 months. then that girl ended it. After that, I had mixed results, pickup/dating wise. Then I found out in July, that the girl in TX had already met someone new and was already engaged. This totally threw me for a loop, as her and I had talked somewhat about me returning.

    So, I made two major mistakes....Breaking up with a really great (although flawed) girl, and returning to Chicago.

    I have been in serious depression the last 5 or 6 months or so...I feel like after all these years, it was all for nothing, although I know logically, it is not true. My career is going great, getting promotions, got a great apartment, working out all the time, etc. I get the feeling that the regret I have for leaving, is affecting my game and my outlook, and is therefore affecting my body language and game. I seem to think that when I do actually approach, girls are sensing something is up with me, and are just bowing out. I am 42 years old, but I look about 30 and I am in great shape. I think that I just deeply regret leaving, that coming back was a major f'ing mistake and its affecting my game.

    Alright, enough about me. Look at your life, and self-analyze. Has anything in your life changed? Diet? Nutrition? I think these are major factors. Personally, I think that being down in the Texas sun was healthier than living here. The cold weather here SUX. People here in IL can be passive-aggressive somewhat unwelcoming.

    Maybe you (and I) have matured beyond 'game' and its time to focus on other, more deeper, pursuits?

    I dont know...I am just sharing what I am going through and maybe we can figure this out.

  3. #3
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 3,686, Level: 38
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 114
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Western Burbs of IL
    Posts
    95
    Points
    3,686
    Level
    38
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts
    Rep Power
    154

    Default Re: Need Help Getting My Brain Right...

    Hey, I appreciate all of that. It does sound like we're in not-too-dissimilar boats right now. And welcome back to Chicago, for whatever that's worth.

    Well, one thing I just thought of now is that my social circle evolved. At one time, I was surrounded by several hot girls. I still am. But one's in a serious relationship. Another has 2 kids and a live-in bf. Another just had a baby. Another moved to CA. A couple of them left our job. Another got engaged. So I am a little bit decimated in the hot single girls department right now, although I have tons of still-hot girls who now have hubbies, and babies, and such. And we're still cool friends (even doing stuff together). They just never go out anymore and it's often more of an adult hang out than a wing-girl type situation now since their partying days are somewhat over.

    So now most of my pickups come from people outside of my social circle, and they just tend to be rather boring people for the most part, or too afraid of offending me or scaring me off perhaps. Maybe it's just the low-hanging fruit that's getting on my nerves.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  4. #4
    6pack is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 102, Level: 2
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 15.4%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    2
    Points
    102
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need Help Getting My Brain Right...

    Yes - great point! Having a great social circle is extremely important. Social circles are dynamic and always changing; people always leaving and new people coming in. If you do not have a good social circle, you will find yourself sitting at home a lot of times. Most things here in Chicago cater more to groups (especially bars, clubs etc) and if you are not with a group, and are sitting at a bar by yourself, for example, you are not going to have a lot of fun, and are not going to feel like you are in a good state to approach. So it just feels like too much effort to go out by yourself and it is easy to just stay at home and be a home-body, but as we all know, you wont meet anyone sitting at home.

    For me, I had a really good, diverse, dynamic social group here in Chicago, before I moved away. There was always something going on, always getting invites to do things almost any night of the week. A lot of these people were cheering me on to move back to CHI, but when I got back here, I felt like I was getting the cold-shoulder from people...no one going out or doing anything. Or, they would go out, but not invite me. Some people had gotten married, one or two couples got pregnant. One person moved all the way to San Diego.

    There is a pickup guru out there who does have a product that completely revolves around dropping the PUA mentality, and instead, focus on building and MANAGING a social circle. The general idea is that by building/managing a tight group of people (both male and female) that you run with, you will always have people around you, always have things to do (adventures in the city, etc) and that this dynamic ATTRACTS women into your life. I cannot remember the name of the product; I have bought so many over the years. But it was an interesting idea.

    But yeah, I feel like this last year, I was being tested at an almost cosmic level. I gotta get out and start reigniting that dynamic and rebuilding the momentum I lost when I moved away.

    Just curious, what is your age?

  5. #5
    Blackbird's Avatar
    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 3,686, Level: 38
    Level completed: 24%, Points required for next Level: 114
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Western Burbs of IL
    Posts
    95
    Points
    3,686
    Level
    38
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts
    Rep Power
    154

    Default Re: Need Help Getting My Brain Right...

    I think maybe the guy you're thinking of is Mehow. He has a lot of stuff on managing social circles, if I'm not mistaken. I think he's also a Chicagoan, actually. Maybe I should brush the dust off of some of that stuff and read it in a new light.

    I have begun doing this though. At work, I've kind of started to churn my group of friends a bit, started favoring the more fun, more cute and steady girls over the ones that are getting more boring or unpredictable, started reevaluating my guys friends, figuring out who's cutting it and who isn't. Since I have so many hot friends there, it's easy for me to start rumors about which girls I'm seeing or what we're doing. So it's still not too hard for me to get noticed by the crop of new ones. It's just a matter of making a few plans and start getting the train rolling again. It's just such a farrrr way down from the half dozen 8-10's I used to be able to have come over on any Friday night to hang with me.

    I'm 37. And I'll be in Chicago on April 30, for the RSD free tour. Just signed up. What the hell, right?
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged


Similar Threads

  1. The Sex-for-Life Diet (by Brain Good)
    By DeviantMethod in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-16-2014, 09:21 PM
  2. How to turn off the logical part of brain and turn on the playful part
    By Adamhere in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 05-17-2013, 10:25 PM
  3. How to deal with emotional overload of brain
    By 1cecube in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 06-12-2012, 09:28 PM
  4. anyone who live around (626) would like to let me pick ur brain,
    By Teezy in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-04-2011, 01:22 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com