Still relatively new to posting here, so hope I'm in the right spot. Just had a question and was hoping someone could share their insights/experiences on the matter. I'll post the quick version first, then the background info later if anyone needs it or wants to know it:
Short version: Got back into the game and ended up dating my first Asian girl a couple of months ago. We both start to get past the physical part and actually start developing a connection. In the middle of last month, after several dates, we have dinner and she says she is exclusive to me, but that I don't have to reciprocate it until I'm ready and if I manage to be with anyone else before that time comes, to just let her know. I let her know that because I can't commit to being exclusive yet, I won't expect her to do the same. She repeats that she will be exclusive regardless, and just to let her know if I find anyone else as we go forward. I second the latter, and we mutually agree that we'll let each other know if we find someone else.
The other day, a friend of mine noticed her bringing another guy to her house to stay the night. This comes after two date cancellations that came out of nowhere. Up until the cancellations, there were no indications that anything was really going downhill (I can try to think of some things, but will save it for discussion later). I'm assuming that the cancellations were blowing me off to be with the other guy (though she used other excuses).
What I don't understand about this is:
1) I gave the option for her not to be exclusive, yet she insisted that the connection we had was enough for her to not be interested in anyone else (her words). Why would she say she wants to be exclusive, then sleep with someone else without letting me know (when we agreed we would tell each other)?
2) Does this sound like she was BSing me the whole time, or just changed her mind suddenly and is too hesitant to tell me (again, I don't know why since I said I wouldn't mind as long as we were honest with each other).
3) How would you handle this, and how should it be handled? I'm just confused as to why it's even at this point in the first place.
Again, this is all part of the journey and always happy to learn from the experiences of others. Thank you in advance!