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  1. #1
    Weapon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Unnecessary Deception? Or am I missing something?

    Hi all,

    Still relatively new to posting here, so hope I'm in the right spot. Just had a question and was hoping someone could share their insights/experiences on the matter. I'll post the quick version first, then the background info later if anyone needs it or wants to know it:

    Short version: Got back into the game and ended up dating my first Asian girl a couple of months ago. We both start to get past the physical part and actually start developing a connection. In the middle of last month, after several dates, we have dinner and she says she is exclusive to me, but that I don't have to reciprocate it until I'm ready and if I manage to be with anyone else before that time comes, to just let her know. I let her know that because I can't commit to being exclusive yet, I won't expect her to do the same. She repeats that she will be exclusive regardless, and just to let her know if I find anyone else as we go forward. I second the latter, and we mutually agree that we'll let each other know if we find someone else.

    The other day, a friend of mine noticed her bringing another guy to her house to stay the night. This comes after two date cancellations that came out of nowhere. Up until the cancellations, there were no indications that anything was really going downhill (I can try to think of some things, but will save it for discussion later). I'm assuming that the cancellations were blowing me off to be with the other guy (though she used other excuses).

    What I don't understand about this is:

    1) I gave the option for her not to be exclusive, yet she insisted that the connection we had was enough for her to not be interested in anyone else (her words). Why would she say she wants to be exclusive, then sleep with someone else without letting me know (when we agreed we would tell each other)?

    2) Does this sound like she was BSing me the whole time, or just changed her mind suddenly and is too hesitant to tell me (again, I don't know why since I said I wouldn't mind as long as we were honest with each other).

    3) How would you handle this, and how should it be handled? I'm just confused as to why it's even at this point in the first place.


    Again, this is all part of the journey and always happy to learn from the experiences of others. Thank you in advance!

    -Weapon

  2. #2
    Adam12 is offline Experienced PUA
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    Default Re: Unnecessary Deception? Or am I missing something?

    Well, you can't go by a rumor that you heard From someone else. Also, you aren't exactly exclusive so if she changed her mind it should be fine. If your interested in being exclusive to her, she won't shop around anymore. Sound like your Asian babe wants a relationship and since you won't give it to her she's treating it as an open relationship

  3. #3
    Weapon is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Unnecessary Deception? Or am I missing something?

    Ehh, I guess. Firstly though, the rumor was confirmed so she's definitely seeing someone else too.

    And that's the thing though...if she was treating it as an open relationship, I don't get why she wouldn't have just said that she would be seeing other people too. That's the part I didn't get. I wasn't actively looking for other women during the time we spent together either.

    Also I wasn't opposed to being exclusive, she just said that she didn't want to feel like she was rushing me into it and blah blah blah. I'm probably going to end it this week though and see if I can still salvage a friendship out of it.

    Anyway thanks for the reply! If you have any more input, please share


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