Ego & Success: Why I can't play pretend anymore
To prevent hurts, emotional mood swings I had to had just be honest with myself and stop setting up such high expectations. Before I reported on Ego & Pain and I was in a slump. 2 back to back bad relationships. Now I am on an up, a good relationship kick-fired all that good mojo back in gear.
How the sudden quick change? Because as I said I am the Comeback King. And here is my comeback, here is my moment.
1 week. That's what it took me. One with this new woman to go from Zero to Hero.
Just broke the cell silence (1st text) and it went swimmingly. Immediate responses and another 2 hour convo.
What was our talk? ...A date. A date she asked me on. A date she planned. A date she called a date. A date she said is not just a date. It is a classy date. We are planning for next weekend to which she said she is super excited for. She said she is looking forward to it. It's going to be super rad she said and all in all she is wanting to wait and see if she is commited to the chase.
I was sick of playing games. And sick of being a douchebag. So I said yeah better to have lots of sex with one person that tons of sex with multiple people.
I think most guys just go around having lots of meaningless sex and then peace out. Well that was my plan. But she said she is not on board with that. I was sexual with her letting her know hey I'll be grabbing and groping her a lot but she said no I can't act like that.
First we have to be commited to each other she said. I wanted a woman to accommodate me to no end. After HarryPotterVille I wanted a woman to accommodate me like hell. And what did I get a week later??
a woman accommodating the hell out of me. Yeah my game is good but...
She inboxed me
then asked me out
then gave me her number without me saying a daym thing
then to now her saying I will get some ass if I listen to her
She said no sex on the 1st date. So don't blame me but that didn't surprise me cuz most guys bolt after ONS and she may be afraid to lose me to ONS
half of me was sick of it. But half of her too. She is already talking like a 2nd date is in the cards (you will get to hit my ass if...you respect me blah blah blah)
I said sure anything you want.
But yeah I think we all know what is happening here. I brought my game. I really brought it. But this chick recognizes my game tells me my game is solid and she wants to put out but says not her groove as of late. She said no touching at first because she knows it will get out of hand quick. So no pressure to jump in and kiss her on the first date.
I said that I knew this year I would get good. So good maybe I said that some girl would try to get me to settle down. What is this woman doing?
But here is what I do know she is planning on me giving me plenty of ass or she wouldn't have said it so I got at least more than a One Night Stand. But multiple lays which is what I want.
After all the breakups and heartbreak I just totally fully owned myself. Sounds corny but it is legit. I noticed with the HB10 all I did was act weak and needy.
But with this chick I said "fvck it" let this glory ride end with me at my best.
So I gave it my best shot.
Said what I wanted
Messaged when I wanted
Texted her first when I wanted again saying what I wanted
Said what impressed "me" not necessarily "her"
Did I blow her off no, I am playing no games with this chick I mean business. It's time I got laid but I mean I find it much more ideal of lots of sex from one person than lots of sex with multiple people
She saw this in me. Saw I meant business. Saw I was sick of the bs. Saw I was sick of being alone. Saw that I was sick of not getting laid. Saw that I was sick of lying to myself.
And she she called it all out!
I know you are being honest with me she says
I know you are sick of these games, I know that you are sick of getting played by women
basically coming in "while in Ego & Pain mode" a total defunct pissy ready for war attitude and she says
I know you get bored quick, have women broken your heart to set you loose to be this ruthless?
She saw my pain, saw my regret, saw my frustration and rejoiced! She celebrated my struggle.
I had no choice I told her. I must listen to my Ego. My ego won't allow me to see this end I said. I must make you happy I told her.
part of it was wishful thinking on both our parts. I talked in a better world sort of view and while saying it half-heartedly this state of mind started to spread into her and us merely creating this better world.
thats why before any date, before any sex she is telling me
she is looking forward to it
Next weekend will be super rad
age can't stop thinking about it
Getting an outfit for me right now
says we will have so much fun
She knows I am vulnerable and is taking full advantage and I am not willing due to my ego to let her down. I said I will do anything I can for her so I have let my heart run free and she lets me be who I want. This is the ultimate freedom no longer worried about impressing them but doing it instinctual has brought me a well deserved outcome...a chick that accepts me even after knowing this is excited for me and for us. This is interesting times indeed
When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.