When I was 15 I had my first crush. It was a girl from my math class who was on the track and field team with me. I wasn't shy. I mentioned that I liked her and she said she had a boyfriend and we'd hang out anyway. One day she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I never asked why.
The rest of high school I was pretty shy but very nice to everyone. Never even kissed a girl.
College years. Still wasn't working out and I was contemplating suicide. I wished I could get rid of the desire to be around people at all. I was always nice to people and there were so rude and cruel, guys and girls. If I stood up for myself they made me out to be the bad guy. Life sucked.
So guys shows me a PUA site. I learned a few things, not much. Ended up getting laid when an opportunity presents itself. Not to be confused with getting girls I actually wanted or even being able to find a decent relationship. This got old, I was just getting lucky once in a while since I couldn't actually create opportunities and these weren't girls I even wanted.
When I met girls I liked, it always failed and she's run off with some asshole.
When I sought out advice I'd get something like David Deangelo spewing out bullsh1t and hot air about for 4 paragraphs that simply eludes to what you'll be able to do if you give him your money. This had absolutely no substance and was a waste of my time. I actually bought the Mystery Method book... That was all about being something you're not and was very uncomfortable. I don't want to dress up like a clown and say things I don't mean. My friend Doug doesn't do this and he's always sleeping with a lot of different girls.
He doesn't know how he sleeps with so many girls [btw, Doug is homeless and has ratty messy clothes and smells funny].
So, I grew angrier and angrier. Mystery Method didn't actually work btw. It made girls get angry at me for "trying that bullsh1t". Nothing worked really. Girls still lie and wont tell you what they really want, the guys who know how to get girls will feed you endless streams of bs to get your wallet, and the guys who care don't know how they get girls at all.
Now, I don't really even try as much. I just hate people. I don't fit in anywhere, people don't invite me places, I don't get laid [often], it's difficult to find a job. People for some reason don't farking like me. I used to be genuinely nice to everyone... Now I just hate people.
Why is this so farking difficult?