hi ive lurk on here once and awhile, but never posted so il tell you my story and thing about me and any advice or help would be nice
higher than average smart
good at video games and sport (but dont like to do much sport other than gym.
good a everything i put my mind to but socialising
value my life
im very shy and timid
dont talk much
19 years old never had a girlfriend or sex
social anxiety(get anxiety over anything new)
dont like confrontation
poor vocabulary and english
day dream about how good my life could be
dont have a good memory
dont know how to let go and have fun
think i might be shallow
hate myself and others.
The only thing going for my in my life is studying other than that im doing nothing i stay at home every night wantting to hang at club or with friend and hate myself for not going out at nights.
i have very little friend groups and even in the my group of friend i dont talk. i only talk when 4 max are around and when i do talk its not much. i dont fit in well with groups.
i have nothing to give in conversation dont know how to make long convasation even with 2 people dont mind listening to people.
i even find it hard to talk on facebook and dont use it becasue im scared of being judged by other for multipule reason including(not having a girlfriend or ever having sex, getting ask weired questions, or someone paying me out).
even though everone uses facebook.
i try to ask my friend to hang but there always busy. i try to make new ones but because of all of the above find it very hard.
when i was in my teens i always played video games and my friends wanted to hang but all i wanted to do was playgames online i could of had many girlfriend aswell but was too shy or timid to ask them out even when they came up to me. so i didnt really socialise and my friend online would always pay me out and bring my ego down.
back in primary school i use to be the life of the party shy but i would take risks and they always payed off.
ive dont think i have ever had someone care for me in my life other than my mum and my dad but dad left when i was 12. i think i got the shyness from my mother father is also from another country.
someday i wish to be very good at talking to people and become the life of the party again.
ive been doing consuling with a therapist and still find it hard, ive havent been happy in a long time and im lost to who i am.
really need an big ego boost but dont know how to get it