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View Poll Results: Do I still have a chance of building a relationship with her?

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  • Could I still overturn the situation?

    0 0%
  • Did I creep her out by appearing to be needy?

    0 0%
  • What's the best way to make her miss me?

    0 0%
  • Where did I go wrong?

    0 0%
  • Should I have used the push-pull tactic?

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  • Was she just flirting with me?

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  • Was it just a one-time itch?

    0 0%
  • Is she really worth it?

    0 0%
  • Was I played?

    0 0%
  • How do I get over this?

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Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Bullzeye is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Angry HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    Hi All,

    My name is Eddy 30 yrs old, based in Dubai and new to PUA. I work in Advertising and naturally I am exposed to various types of girls from different nationalities. My problem is laziness. Despite all the available girls out there, I only want to make a move on a girl that I really really like so in terms of experience, I am considerably at an intermediate level. A brief background on myself follows:

    In terms of physical appearance, I am maybe above average. My idol is Colin Farrell so I kinda exude this Colin Farrell type of persona. Tattooed, rugged type personality. I consider myself as a specialist in love or lust at first sight because I can get a girl's mobile number (if the opportunity presents itself) simply by talking to her whatever the circumstances are. Then, I would immediately move the girl on a date a day or 2 after and get in bed with them. But that's where the problem lies, I am only good on that occasion but I seem to have a problem in MAINTAINING communication with a girl I just made out with because most of the time, I tend to come across as aggressive, needy, clingy in order to build and keep a new relationship with a girl I just met going. It happened to me alot of times already. This is where I need your help guys!

    Recently, I went home for a month-long vacation in Southeast Asia where I met this pretty young lady. She's 21 years old, just graduated and working as a cashier in a popular fastfood chain here. I asked her mobile number and we went out on a date the next night, had a nice get-to-know you conversation in a cool, hip bar in the city, got drunk together during the process, petting and necking all over and then I took her to a motel where we made out. During the whole process, this girl was definitely giving me ioi's as she was holding my arms, asking me questions about myself, where I worked, her plans about life, her background etc. My perception about this girl was the flirty type (definitely not your typical, clueless country type girl) because of the fact she went with me on a date and immediately sending me these positive signals etc so I kinda dismissed the long-term type of commitment with her. After we had sex, we communicated for awhile through texts & phone conversations, sometimes I visit her workplace and the girl indicated that she likes me & all and wants to possibly start a relationship with me etc. I also told her that I liked her too but I wanted to get to know her better before I jumped into a commitment. She agreed. She also mentioned she's single and doesn't have a boyfriend. We were so flirty and nice to each other for the first 2 weeks until all of a sudden, she stopped communicating with me. I tried sending her text messages to ask her how she was doing, but the replies were becoming abrupt, shortened and sometimes nothing at all. I tried visiting her where she worked,and at first while I'm around, she seemed fine. Sensing this, I immediately tried to secure a 2nd date with her to capitalize on the momentum but she said she doesn't know when her next day off was! I told her "sure no probs. Just let me know when you're available so we could hang out again." Then I left her workplace. Since she's been distant to me for over 5 consecutive days, I tried creating a sense of urgency with her by telling her I'll be going back overseas in a weeks time just to close a date and bang her again but still, no avail. So, I tried visiting her again in her workplace and since I'm going to order food anyway but now, she's suddenly avoiding me like a plague. I can sense she was uncomfortable while I was around so I ordered through another cashier instead. Because it was also getting awkward, we kinda ignored each other during that time. I thought she had the hots for me and all but suddenly the attraction expired, fast!

    What to do?

    Here's one possibility though why it could have went this way. From the rumors I heard in her workplace, she was seen kissing her workmate as if they were in some sort of exclusive relationship when they went out together one night as a group in a bar. Her colleagues were surprised with the turnout as there were never any indications in the workplace that she and her workmate were attracted to each other. It just happened right there and then! This guy told me that they act normal when they are at their workplace. This is before I met her. And then, she met me and went out on a date with me. In addition, I found out through one of my reliable sources that she is a single parent. She has a 3 yr old daughter! which means she probably got pregnant when she was 17 or 18 yrs old - meaning this girl is damaged goods! She never got the chance to tell me any of these as we have suddenly become distant to one another. One thing she told me was that her ex bf was a seaman who paid for her college education. It never worked out between the 2 of them because she claimed her ex-bf had an affair. She said she declined her ex-bf's marriage proposal. I don't know if they are still in contact with each other but most likely. My theory was that her ex-bf was probably the father to her 3 year old kid. Otherwise, why waste your money by paying her college education?

    Back to the recent developments, there is a strong possibility that she and her workmate were dating and developed feelings for each other and I got left out during the process. Could this be the reason why all of a sudden, she's stopped communicating and avoids me whenever I'm around? Where did I go wrong during the whole process? I thought I was doing it smoothly by sending her a text once in awhile like "hi", "how are you?", "I'm here at Resto Bar, if you're not busy come join me", just to keep my presence with her but I've gotten no replies and then, the sudden cold shoulder.

    Any input guys? Could I still overturn the situation or she probably thinks I'm a creeping her or something. What's the best way to make her miss me?

    Really need your help.

    Eddy

  2. #2
    SonnyCurtis is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    Welcome man. Sadly I can't be bothered to read all that right now but for what it's worth the poll made me lol.

  3. #3
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    1. Never tell a girl you like her.

    2. If you see her as damaged goods, why are you so caught up?

    3. You're way over analyzing this. You set yourself up with the paradox that you see yourself as high status but are infatuated. High status and infatuations don't go hand-in-hand.

    4. And most importantly. Girls flake for a multitude of reasons. Maybe this other guy took precedence over you. Maybe she realized it wasn't the best situation with her child and all. Maybe you tripped up and came off as too needy. Regardless, when you start The Game it is only natural to find the flaws within yourself. But once you develop further, you begin to move away from self blame to acceptance of variables outside of your control.
    It didn't work out because she's not at a right place in her life, not because you did anything wrong, and that's the viewpoint you need to take on this. Some other girl will be at the right place and better in all aspects. In other words, the majority if the time you want the mind set that she's trippin, not you. Alpha state of mind.
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
    Sunupu is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    Yeah, what he said.

    I find in situations like this the best thing you can do is say "it was nice meeting you, but I can't do this" and walk away. It gives you an opportunity to stand your ground, and maybe she'll develop respect and give you another chance. I wouldn't count on it, though.

    Probably the hardest part of learning the game is embracing cat-string theory. You know that one? I'm sure there's a thread on it somewhere. Pretty much it's about positive and negative reinforcement. If a woman does something shitty to you (talk to another guy at the bar, ignore you, blow you off, string you along, etc. ad infinitum) you call them out on it.

    The whole point of it is that you are the catch, not her. If a woman disrespects you and you just take it without saying anything, she'll respect you even less. It's a woman's way of sizing you up, testing what kind of man you are. She's probably not even consciously aware she's doing it. Either way, she's clearly tested you and based on her behavior she thinks you failed. The best case scenario is damage control, but I wouldn't even bother if I were you.

    Straight up tell her you don't like being strung along, and that you're done. Even if she scrambles out an apology and does want to go out with you, don't go. Walk away with some self-respect before the situation gets any uglier. Honestly ask yourself why you'd even want to be with someone who so clearly disrespects you. You're better than that, you deserve better. Be a better man, and bring it to the next girl.
    Last edited by Sunupu; 05-05-2012 at 09:15 AM. Reason: speeling errores

  5. #5
    garthy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    hey man i live in dubai , you can contact me so we can sarge together , pm me
    Last edited by KristiBell; 09-01-2012 at 04:14 AM.

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: HELP! Hot Initial Attraction now lost all of a sudden!

    There may have been things you could've done differently. Like maintain being a challenge. I know its difficult to do once you are open with your interest in a woman and she does the same, but you still have to be the same playful guy.

    Honestly though I don't think you could've done much different. Like Cody said there is simply too many variables to consider and I'm a strong believer that most women need at least one romantic relationship in their life. So if it is suddenly not you, then chances are its someone else. You don't know what kind of history they have or really what kind of person she is so don't beat yourself up trying to figure out what you did wrong. I personally don't think you did anything wrong. Just remember to incorporate being a challenge by using things like qualification. And always allowing a woman to be a bit more interested in you, than you are in her.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."


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