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  1. #1
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How to approach in a Bar

    Hey, FauxPas here. I need some opinions/advise. I can for the most part approach anywhere...but for some reason I fall apart in a bar, and freeze up in club settings. I have no problem walking up to strangers and talking on the street or the cash register. But when i'm in the bar /club setting I go back to being in 7th grade scared to death of girls. Being this open is scary, but it's time for a change. FauxPas.

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    'Being this open is scary, but it's time for a change.'

    Do you mean that approaching strangers in clubs is scary, or that confessing you need our help is scary? Because if it's the latter one you probably just need to become more social. We're semi-anonymous guys on the internet that can't see your real name. I'm half the world away from you. There is nothing to be scared about, but if you're this scared being open over the internet, I guess you have major problems doing so in real life.

    Am I close? If not, what exactly is scary and what stops you from approaching in night game?

  3. #3
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    How is approaching someone in a bar scarier than approaching someone out in the street??

    In a bar there's more intimacy than out in the street. Women in a bar are usually more open, and receptive to advances.

    Basically a girl at a bar is looking to have fun or to hook up. Use this to squash your fear, and to your advantage.

  4. #4
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    I understand where's he's coming from, pwonager. I'm only used to approaching in daytime as well, and find doing so at night scarier as well. It's just that it's a different game and we're not used to playing it yet.

  5. #5
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    Hey it's FauxPas. Thank you for replying. Ok, what I mean is it's hard to admit I'm not the cool, suave man I'd like to be. In a bar/club I allow my shyness to come out. I've always been shy/scared of letting someone know I like them. The whole rejection thing weighs heavy on my mind. Girls scare me in an intimate setting. On the street I can hide behind the openess, they don't expect it. Whereas in a bar I feel like it's so blatant that it's like I'm screaming out "hi, i like you, and later can I see you naked?"

  6. #6
    pwonager is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    To me it's scarier to approach someone on the street than in a bar.

    In a bar it's more intimate, girls sitting there alone, just waiting for someone to pick them up.

    I guess everyone is different, maybe you guys can give me advice on approaching a girl in the street.

  7. #7
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    I used to be in a very similar spot. I'm much more of the cool, suave man I'd like to be now than 1.5 years ago. When I, too had the whole rejection thing weighing on my mind with girls scaring me in an intimate setting and me being afraid to express any kind of interest whatsoever.

    I'm going to give you advice I have given tons of times before, because it worked for me. Read a book about becoming an alpha male. Incorporate those traits, work on yourself and you'll soon find yourself more confident, more cool and suave. Less shy. I'm no longer afraid to let a woman know I'm interested in her.

    When a man approaches a woman in a bar, no matter what they say, they KNOW you're really saying 'Hi, I like you, and later can I see you naked?'. And if you play it right, you might get there.

    You're already approaching during the day - which is harder than at night - so you're already very far in that. You've already defeated something most guys are more afraid of than what you're facing now. You'll get there, mate. No worries. Just make sure you do what you have to do.

    EDIT: There are two links to good alpha male posts in my newbie guide. Reading a book is always better, though.

  8. #8
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    Quote Originally Posted by pwonager View Post
    To me it's scarier to approach someone on the street than in a bar.

    In a bar it's more intimate, girls sitting there alone, just waiting for someone to pick them up.

    I guess everyone is different, maybe you guys can give me advice on approaching a girl in the street.
    I can if you want to, but it's going to be direct. I used to be an expert on indirect theory (not practise) but when I discovered Direct Game I was blown away, only started to read stuff on that, and actually went out there to practise. Never read indirect stuff again apart from forum posts. I decided that since falling into the friend zone and an inability/fear to express my interest were my biggest pitfalls, and direct game eliminates those both efficiently.

  9. #9
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    Virgil thank you. I shall heed your advice. Thank you. Going back to approaching during the day I can come up with a thousand and one reasons to talk to someone on the street, or in a line. I think of Jim Rockford from the 70's show Rockford Files. He ran gme on everyone! Ha, ha!

  10. #10
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to approach in a Bar

    Thank you pwonger. Much appreciated!


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