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  1. #1
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    What's up puaforums? SuperDry here.

    I'm a complete nub to this whole PUA community and had just started reading books like "The Game" by Neil Strauss. I haven't finished it yet but what I did finish and got me interested in reading a book like "The Game" was another book called "Everything Out of Her Mouth is a Test" by Frank B. Kermit.

    I started reading these books because I realized that I'm 21, almost 22, and have yet to get a girlfriend. There were times when girls came onto me to be in a relationship, some even offering sexual favors as a means to seal the deal, but I felt like the nice guy that they settled for and denied them of their approach. This brings me into my problem: I'm the nice guy, in company of a moderate amount of women, but I'm almost immediately friend-zoned first.

    I've been friends with these girls for quite a while you could say, like years, and at some point after I'm friend-zoned, some of them have claimed to be attracted to me and liked me. Few try to make something of it but I'm no good at returning the effort because I'm the nice guy first and then potential boyfriend out of the blue afterward. My mindsets don't just shift when they confess so abruptly. My guy friends would be praise me for such developments because I somehow become friends with girls easily, but it's not without feeling the loss of my manhood when these girls put me in the "just friends" category from the get-go. I don't want to be a supplicate or if anyone knows it - the "emotional cookie man" even if it's just temporary sometimes.

    Right now, I have my eyes on a friend's roommate. I will be visiting them often, along with other girls this summer because this apartment houses five of them. Being the nice guy that was somehow instilled in me, I treat many of the girls I'm around the same way. However, I don't know how to get myself alone with the girl I like. Lucky me, I've had plenty of opportunities to be alone with this girl a few weeks back when I visited her apartment. She's on a quest to achieve physical finesse and I'm her exercise buddy because I'm battling my asthma and skinny physique. We run and play tennis. She's also on a journey of self-discipline, because she's had trouble in her schooling. I compliment her from time to time, but I'm a wreck when trying to tease her. I'd know what to say now, but didn't know what to say then ahaha.

    Anyways, I don't want to elaborate anymore specifics in the introduction thread - it's been lengthy. Outside of my current dilemma, I do just want to work on my social handling skills, along with flirting.

    - SuperDry

  2. #2
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    Welcome! Yeah, the friend zone.... been there... more than once... more than twice.... and more than trice lol. The good news is you came to the right place.

    Seems to me like you just need to learn to man up, so you'll capitalize on them vocally acknowledging their interest and become able to express your own interest.

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    Thanks Virgil!

    By chance, do you have anything you've done personally that got you out of the friend-zone criteria or helped you in the area that I'm currently lacking? Any suggested links or blogs would help! =]

  4. #4
    dgmortal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    The first step in getting out of friendzone is gaining the ability to letting her go. then you can escalate (sexually), they may creep out, but that doesn't matter anymore, they can take it or leave it.
    for future girls make sure to show them your sexual side from beginning. and keep your distance, they must prove themselves to you first to gain friend benefits.

  5. #5
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    Since I discovered PUA, I have only been friend zoned once. I was too much of a p*ssy to tell her how I felt while I knew she was attracted to me. So I don't have any experience getting out of it.

    The most commonly used way to get out of the friend zone is a Freeze-Out. Like dgmortal said, let her go. Don't see or text her for a while and have fun in the meanwhile. She should know you're having fun, though. Use facebook to post pictures of you with new friends and hot women.

    After a couple of weeks or months, re-initiate contact with her and show her the all-new you, who is now someone that kinoes, has a lot of social value and no longer afraid to express his interests. Don't give her too much attention, but divide it over all the people in the social venue you will take her. After she gains attraction, you're good to game her.

    That's how to get out of the friend-zone in a nutshell.

    For now just make sure you are IN the friend-zone with that new girl first. If you're not in there, you don't have to get out. If she starts talking about her boyfriend stuff, you're in it.

    Here's a thread you should read if you want to understand more about the way attraction works.

  6. #6
    Bumac is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    I noticed something in your post. There were only two options: friend zone or Boyfriend. Are you getting in the PUA community to get a girlfriend or are you looking for something with less commitment?

    Being a nice guy is just fine, just shift your mind slightly. You are going to be a Badass Nice Guy, you'll be nice and screw anyone who doesn't like it. That includes knowing that you want to go on a date with someone you meet and making your intentions clear right away.

    Also I totally agree with Virgil, getting out of the friend zone is easiest with a freezeout since when you come back the dynamic of your relationship will have changed.

    Good luck bro. Step one is to make sure nice guy doesn't = Timid guy...which is probably where the problem arises anyhow.

  7. #7
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bumac View Post
    I noticed something in your post. There were only two options: friend zone or Boyfriend. Are you getting in the PUA community to get a girlfriend or are you looking for something with less commitment?

    Being a nice guy is just fine, just shift your mind slightly. You are going to be a Badass Nice Guy, you'll be nice and screw anyone who doesn't like it. That includes knowing that you want to go on a date with someone you meet and making your intentions clear right away.

    Also I totally agree with Virgil, getting out of the friend zone is easiest with a freezeout since when you come back the dynamic of your relationship will have changed.

    Good luck bro. Step one is to make sure nice guy doesn't = Timid guy...which is probably where the problem arises anyhow.
    Both. The girl I like right now is going to be gone after the summer anyhow but I'd like to improve my game and see how far I can take it before it happens. Perhaps it could build into a long distance relationship but I wouldn't be a fan of that at all. It's set in my mind that I can let this girl go when that time comes. So outside of this I'm just looking to improve my game enough so I have the options to go after something with less commitment, go for commitment, or just be good at socializing as a whole.

    I agree with the freezeout method but because the summer is the only time she'll be here, I'm more inclined to spend time with her face-to-face although I haven't done so for two weeks now. I'm trying to learn good banter so I can implicate my intentions better, transition into a more direct way of saying so, and build her attraction towards me so other aspects of our current relationship can develop.

    Badass nice guy has a nice ring to it ahaha.

  8. #8
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    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    I think at this point your best bet at this girl is to not think about her. In order to get her, she has to become just another girl.

    I think you should take yourself on a Pick Up crash course. Set aside a week or two where you go out every night and just game game game. Aim for number closes because text game is actually a pretty good way to raise your real game. It's much easier to tease when you aren't really there. The cold fact is you've got the early stages of one-itis and on top of that you're a newbie. If you want this girl, flirting, teasing and building attraction has to be something your used to. That means getting a lot of exposure in a short amount of time. You don't have to lose any of your personality or your niceness, just be that nice guy who get's the girls. That needs to be your frame, own it.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  9. #9
    SuperDry is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Eyes On My Childhood Friend's Roommate... But I'm a Nice Guy.

    I'd do a pick up crash course on my own if I could but I'm pretty low on funds and have no car to get out at night. In a couple of months I'll be able to try my hand at gaming every other night because I'll be moving to SF. I also realized that text game could be a good way to raise my real game, because I find that I am more playful through text. The only problem with texting for me in my opinion is that it's quite the contrast with how my game is in person. I need to integrate some of my text game into my face-to-face game so it doesn't seem like I'm trying to compensate.

    I'm also trying to get over the one-itis by proposing more inclusive activities with my friends when they are with the girl I like. You could say that I'm also trying to seem attractive to all of them because it's attractive to seem attractive to others. And it's not like I wouldn't mind going out with any of those girls either. If I get the chance, I'd date them if I'm the one who intentionally catalyzed their attraction to me. Otherwise, I'd also be satisfied as long as they enjoy my company.

    Currently, I'm looking into card tricks because that sort of art also relies heavily on how well you present it, thus helping me seem more fluid around people.


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