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  1. #1
    ghostinthewind is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default The 56 Year Old Virgin

    Title says it: I've never had a girlfriend, rarely had a date. I'm not bad looking but I understand now that I chased 'em too hard. I projected neediness. Of course it doesn't help that I've rarely had much money and now live in low income housing. I'm sort of an intellectual type which is some ways makes it worse. I understand now that a few of them might have been interested if I'd played it cool and not chased them so hard. I figured out years ago that nice guys finish last but It took me a while to understand WHY and I have some understanding now but running out of time. Hoping I'll get girlfriend before I'm too old to enjoy her. I'm after younger women, not that I'd necessarily turn down a woman my age but they aren't knocking down my door,either. I have one in mind who 36 and I'm trying not to get obsessed with her because I understand that's exactly the way to turn her off. Hardly have money to pay my rent let alone buy books and tapes but I'm learning a few things lately. Well,this is more or less my introduction; just thought I'd throw this out there and see what comments it inspires.

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    This is NOT something we see everyday lol. We can help so no worries there. There is plenty of good material on the internet and on this forum so I will send you a link myself. Get to reading as much as you can and practice when you can. You don't want to read and read and never practice. It's important to be willing to come out of your comfort zone and make mistakes. Hope this helps and good luck.

  3. #3
    ridemyr1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    the main thing to do is after you read is to go out! never just read and read and that's it. it can be rough at first but you have to, otherwise it is all pointless.
    To my bros who served with me.
    "When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

  4. #4
    legato is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    I have a friend who's dad is about to turn 60, divorced, overweight, and far from wealthy. Somehow he has FIVE girlfriends one of whom is a 35 year old former model. This site is geared toward younger guys, but the underlying principles are all the same regardless of age. Good luck and be sure to balance reading with practice like Batman mentioned.

  5. #5
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    Yeah, don't just read and do nothing. My worst PUA mistake so far. That really backfires later on. Anyways, I wonder how the hell you held out this long. This puts things in a whole new perspective for those 18-year-old virgins who knock on the door of PUA. Respect.

    This thread is a good one to begin with. You'll get to know the basics of PUA and what this stuff is all about. Let's get you laid!

  6. #6
    ghostinthewind is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    I'm glad nobody seems to think I made it up; I really AM a 56 year old virgin. It's not as if I didn't have a few chances but I missed some opportunities and the women who are interested these days tend not to appeal to me. I'm not afraid to approach women: enough have said no that it's not anything new :-) I just don't have much idea how to keep it going if I get an e-mail from a woman. One thing I realized last night was that if I could get a woman just for companionship IN PUBLIC I'd be happy with THAT rather than having a secret girlfriend who offered sex but never wanted to be seen with me. Of course, I'm not getting either now so it's not as if I need to choose. Point is, I'm not looking for a LOT of success but I understand that the best way to get a woman is to have one{or more}already. I'm reading a lot of things here and elsewhere and trying to pick up useful ideas. The thing that bothers me is that I think I'm running out of time and I tend to be fairly serious by nature. I'm not the guy who makes woman laugh. I'm trying to be a little more outgoing; not sure how well I'm doing. And I'm particularly looking for tips to attract MUCH YOUNGER WOMEN. Of course,I might settle for a gorgeous woman my age.

  7. #7
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    Hey Ghost, Welcome to the forum.

    I'm like you in the fact that I'm a very intellectual kind of guy. I'm 41 yrs old, divorced twice & have 4 kids.
    (NOT the most marketable / attractive points..)

    BUT... I use my age/wisdom/experience & intellect to my advantage, by standing out & being different than the younger screw-ball guys.

    I DIG smart chicks too... and by engaging them in conversation & stimulating their minds, it makes it much easier to move things along.

    The thing is, women in their mid 30's are at an age where they're looking for someone with more maturity & life experience. Someone who can have a stimulating conversation & teach them new things.

    Right now I'm working on a 36 yr old girl, who has already spent the night with me, after we met up twice.... and is coming to stay over again tonight.
    I realize it's only a 5 yr difference between us, BUT, I've also had fun with a couple girls who were in their mid 20's.

    Don't look at your age as a negative factor. Use it as a way of offering something new to a younger woman.



    Kudos for figuring out your earlier troubles of chasing too hard. I was the same way in High School... I came on waaaaay to fast & too eager / needy, so my relationships were short lived.

    Finally, my Senior year I started getting to "get it" & played it much cooler. I ended up marrying my girlfriend a few yrs later & we were married for 12 yrs before it ended.

    But you're on the right track!!
    Basically, just OWN the fact that you're 56!
    Make that a selling point, rather than a sticking point.

    And by all means, keep asking questions here!! There's a lot of guys who can offer amazing tips & help you in your growth.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    RedHeat is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    Nice post tmalonetn. I totally sympathise with both you guys. I am in my early forties and if I'm honest I have issues with the age thing. I prefer younger women but if they are much younger I don't want to appear 'sleazy'. Having said that, I have been with women in their early twenties over the last few years. However, they made the first move and had they not I don't suppose I would have.

    I sympathise with the 'running out of time thing'. Albeit younger I also have these feelings. Tmalonetn's post is very positive and I think a good starting point. If we can't be positive we have no chance.

    I'd be interested to know - is there an age below which any of you guys would feel 'ashamed' at approaching a girl, or fear appearing sleazy? I don't mean under age from a legal point of view, but maybe somebody that is much younger.

  9. #9
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    Quote Originally Posted by RedHeat View Post
    Nice post tmalonetn. I totally sympathise with both you guys. I am in my early forties and if I'm honest I have issues with the age thing. I prefer younger women but if they are much younger I don't want to appear 'sleazy'. Having said that, I have been with women in their early twenties over the last few years. However, they made the first move and had they not I don't suppose I would have.

    I sympathise with the 'running out of time thing'. Albeit younger I also have these feelings. Tmalonetn's post is very positive and I think a good starting point. If we can't be positive we have no chance.

    I'd be interested to know - is there an age below which any of you guys would feel 'ashamed' at approaching a girl, or fear appearing sleazy? I don't mean under age from a legal point of view, but maybe somebody that is much younger.
    Mid 20's is about as young as I'd probably go...
    mainly from a maturity standpoint on her end.

    Too much younger & they're in that too chatty/won't shut up stage! LOL!!

    Or... they're not as intellectually on point.
    That's kind of a blanket statement though... and I HAVE known a few younger girls, 19-20ish who were more mature than their peers.

    But generally 24-25 is about as young as I personally would consider.

    Great question by the way!


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  10. #10
    ghostinthewind is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: The 56 Year Old Virgin

    If she's 18 and willing, then I'm willing too. I just met an 18 year old the other day and she seemed like she might be mature enough to keep my interest. It was at a sort of dancing class. Unfortunately, she's leaving town for a while but I hope to see her again next spring. I worry that OTHER people might not approve but I can't see why I shouldn't be interested IF she is. The other night she was friendly enough. We're both involved in a group that has people of all ages. Only problem I see is that if I see her again I can't offer her an alcoholic drink. Her brother is in the same group and I'll try to keep track of her through him. Of course,my situation is unique; I'm going to go for it if I meet a pretty woman and see a chance for a legal and honorable relationship. If I had more women available to me maybe I'd forget about some of the 18-30 group.


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