Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 6 of 6
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By dimike

Thread: Strange point in life and need help!

  1. #1
    dimike is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 91, Level: 1
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 2.3%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    18
    Points
    91
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Strange point in life and need help!

    Hey guys, so first a bit about myself and why I'm here:

    I'm 21, about to graduate soon from a pretty decent school and planning on doing a MBA. I've never had much experience/luck with girls in high-school as I was nerdy and overweight, but since college, I've been swimming and working out often (6pack now ). My real experiences with girls came about when I was 19/20 when I studied abroad in Sweden where I met/slept with a couple girls who really gave me the confidence I needed. I didn't want to start any relationships for selfish reasons as I basically wanted to see more girls, but towards the end of my stay, I met a girl who I could genuinely see as my wife (not marrying anytime soon, but you get my point).

    Things went well and are still going great as I'm still with her, but there are a couple of serious dilemmas. First off, she's still in Sweden. She has since visited me in California 3 months ago, but LDR is still one of hardest things I've ever done. We Skype almost everyday (lol I know it seems insane, but I actually have intellectually stimulating conversations with her). She's amazing, subjectively of course, as she's beautiful (Russian ballet dancer) and she's smart (has a masters from the best school in Sweden, arguably one of the best in Europe and the world.)

    Now the problems and plenty of them:

    1. Distance: As much I enjoy the emotional presence of talking on Skype, I want/need physical interaction.
    2. Age and motive: She just turned 25 and has been recently talking about how all her friends are starting to get married. I don't know if she means anything by it, but I definitely don't feel like I'm ready for marriage yet.
    3. Sexual/Relationship experience: She has been the only girlfriend I've had so I'm completely new to this relationship thing while she's had quite a few bfs and sexual experiences compared to me at least. I guess I'm just insecure as I don't want to get played and hurt.
    4. Which brings me on to the next point. I want to and feel like I need to get more experience in the field before I commit to anyone.
    5. She has problems of her own(past) which she hasn't told anyone but me. And I feel like it's a burden on me not only because I share her pain partly, but also because I'm not sure exactly the effect of such "problems" on her stability or actions in the future. I've already seen a side of her which scares me albeit short and rare. Is this a red flag or should I accept it and try to help her?

    So the reason why I'm here is partly to get advice for the next step in this relationship and to become a better PUA as my gf and I have discussed points 1, 3, and 4. She more or less gave me permission to "get more experience" as long as she doesn't find out about it, but I'm still hesitant as I don't want it sabotaging anything in the future. There's been three times already this year where a girl literally threw herself onto my bed, but I just couldn't go through with it (other than just making out). That was before the whole permission discussion so I'm now kind of regretting not doing more lol.



    Recently I've been really busy with studying as I'm about to graduate so I haven't been actively looking nor do I even know where to look as I'm not very good at approaching random girls. There's no good bars or clubs around aside from LA/Hollywood which is an hour away and I don't know anyone there aside from some friends who have no idea what the game is so I wouldn't know where to start. Only thing I've done so far is start up a PoF account... Hitting on girls in school is a good idea, but I've always been bad again at approaching and day game. Any tips on meeting girls without commitment or attachment would be great as I'm pretty much a newbie.


    Big thanks especially if you've read everything as I know it's long. Any tips or input would be greatly appreciated.


    //Di Mike

  2. #2
    DareMe is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 767, Level: 15
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 33
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Posts
    86
    Points
    767
    Level
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    39

    Default Re: Strange point in life and need help!

    I would first say, you don't need to derive your confidence from relationships with girls. Healthy self-image & genuine self-confidence is KEY to attracting & keeping a woman. I'm speaking from personal experience.

    Second, I'd point to my favorite PUA rules:
    1. Don't lie
    2. Don't cheat
    I have witnessed many failed LDRs & it's no surprise. A healthy relationship is multifaceted: intellectual, emotional & physical. LDRs completely GUT the physical aspect, which usually leaves the man unsatisfied. This is normal. You are a man that desires sex. You must decide how to fix that problem.

    Personally, I'd move her here & marry her if my feelings were certain but if not...I'd redefine the relationship.

    Another thought: When one person in a monogamous relationship suddenly gives their partner permission to "get more experience as long as I don't find out about it," something bigger is usually wrong. I don't want to accuse your GF, but typically the person who suggests this is the one already cheating or planning to cheat. Conversely, I will say that when some women shut-off their sex drives (for various reasons) they offer their partners other women as consolation. (Also unhealthy IMO)

    We can discuss more when we go out sometime.

  3. #3
    dimike is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 91, Level: 1
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 2.3%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    18
    Points
    91
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Strange point in life and need help!

    Yea, I've thought and analyzed a lot in terms of what I should do and the best thing I've come up with is just to live my life and not worry about it. I'm not going to cheat or lie to her nor have I ever done so, but I also want to be able to go out, meet other people and not feel constrained.

  4. #4
    DandyLion's Avatar
    DandyLion is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,509, Level: 23
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 91
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Ventura
    Posts
    305
    Points
    1,509
    Level
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    79

    Default Re: Strange point in life and need help!

    dimike,

    I can totally relate to this situation, and if i'm correct, I'm sure there's a lot of frustration/sexual Tension built up between you two.

    I would have to say just pull yourself out of the game for awhile, and really try and assess what's best for you, and if she's really the best thing for you at this point in your life.

    Regards,

    DandyLion

  5. #5
    dimike is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 91, Level: 1
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 2.3%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    18
    Points
    91
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Strange point in life and need help!

    Lots of sexual Tension, yes. But we do have skype sex about twice a week. Nothing close to the real thing, but at least it's something. At first it was awkward, but now it's actually getting pretty fun as we're both more comfortable and willing to do more on camera. I'm still sexually frustrated of course, but I can see she's trying to help.

  6. #6
    DandyLion's Avatar
    DandyLion is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,509, Level: 23
    Level completed: 9%, Points required for next Level: 91
    Overall activity: 3.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Ventura
    Posts
    305
    Points
    1,509
    Level
    23
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    79

    Default Re: Strange point in life and need help!

    Quote Originally Posted by dimike View Post
    Lots of sexual Tension, yes. But we do have skype sex about twice a week. Nothing close to the real thing, but at least it's something. At first it was awkward, but now it's actually getting pretty fun as we're both more comfortable and willing to do more on camera. I'm still sexually frustrated of course, but I can see she's trying to help.
    I feel you, man. Long distance really makes or breaks the relationship..to some extent.

    Some people might disagree, but after a time it loses its luster and it really just becomes all bickers and quarrels.

    Regards,

    DandyLion


Similar Threads

  1. strange size
    By Blondy in forum Members Lounge
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 03-15-2012, 03:37 PM
  2. A Strange Occurrence.....
    By Doofy in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-23-2011, 02:37 PM
  3. strange mess but want to help a friend
    By rom9 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-21-2011, 03:27 AM
  4. i'm stuck in a strange position.
    By zliberm0 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 10
    Last Thread: 07-23-2010, 12:35 AM
  5. Strange reaction from direct approach?
    By Parkview in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 12-22-2009, 10:28 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com