Here's my brief story of how I got to this point, writing this thread.
I got out of a long term relationship going on about 7 months ago. The girl was absolutely in love with me for the first couple years. My problem was that, aside from the excitement of the initial attraction and comfort building stages of the relationship, I had doubts about my commitment. Eventually, my lack of certainty about the relationship, which caused me to be emotionally distant, drove her away to the point where she was no longer in love with me. I was devastated. So I started on a personal journey of self-discovery.
Looking back, I truly believe that my lack of certainty came from my lack of certainty in myself. How can you know if you love someone if you do not first love yourself? I realized that nearly my entire life, I have let my self-doubts and fears dominate my thoughts, and these thoughts have damaged my relationships with friends, family, and significant others and have prevented me from finding a sustained happiness.
The break up put me at the breaking point, and I realized I HAVE to change everything or continue to suffer the same fates and unhappiness. I started devouring information from self-help books, websites, etc. targeted at gaining confidence with women. I yearn for the ability to attract the women that I want. I have made a little progress, and taken SOME action. I am on the way to my goals, yet I still feel I'm holding back and making excuses to stay in the same circular path of desperation and despair.
I recently discovered the Stylelife Challenge on the web after reading The Game by Neil 'Style' Strauss. I wanted to do these challenges because it is a structured, step by step method, with specific goals that will force me to push through my barriers. I began the challenges and completed the first three with relative ease. The random phone calls to get a movie request was both terrifying and exciting, and very liberating. It was the first step to break that barrier of wanting to reach the other side but terrified of the steps it takes to get there. I have really struggled with the 4th step, asking a random attractive girl for a clothing store recommendation. I've gone out twice now with that specific purpose and have not been able to ask a SINGLE girl.
I have joined this forum and started this thread as a gesture of my commitment. I will complete this challenge and I want you to be the witness of my journey. It feels easier if I know that others are watching my progress, supporting me, and expecting me to succeed. I will continue once I have broken through the 4th Challenge barrier.