I want to be a winner. I have a problem, a big problem. I want to be the center of attention. I want to be an idea of hope, love and unity. I hate being denied. I hate being looked down upon. I want to spread good vibes.
My first girlfriend. I was not into her. but I love the idea of sex. She wasn't my type it was easy talking to her. The problem is I could not talk to the girls that I was really into. They would get me all shy, nervous, and insecure. I lost a lot of chances with a lot of girls in my high school days. Then I met my 2nd girlfriend who was clingy, over protective, and a liar. I stayed with her for 5 years, she would not let me talk to any girls. I have been in a box. While she would spend time with other guys. And now I am here.
I am happy with my life. I feel free. I am comfortable and always smiling. But my problem is I have become picky and when I see the ones that interest me... they freeze me up. I never got over that fear. And every time I dive in I mess up, they give me the wtf are you doing here, or leave me alone look.
Its not there fault though... its what I am doing wrong.