My story is long so I will attempt to make it as readable as possible.
I am a 25 year old professional poker player. Ever since high school all I could think about, and work towards, was being rich and poker was my idea. I had a retail job up until i was 23 but my main passion was poker. I played hours upon hours online and in casinos. It wasn't until I was 23 that I really started making money. I am very successful and professional when it comes to money and my work and have been called a workaholic, merciless, and unrelenting. In mastering poker I had neglected a very important but unbeknownst to me part of my life. My social life.
Now to the juicy part. My poker playing and dedication to my job all stemmed from my lack of relationships during high school. I was a roamer during high school. I got along with everybody but didn't fit in with anybody. I had multiple crushes but never even had the guts to ask them out. I adopted this idea that if I became very wealthy and acted "alpha" then I would get all the women I wanted. This was my life style up until the beginning of this year when everything changed.
Since internet poker was banned in April of 2011, I was forced to play at a local casino to make money. The casino was populated by degenerates with the occasional professional sprinkled in and the people that worked there were mostly stuck in the business or going to school. That all changed when a dealer named Whitney started working there. Whit wasn't just any poker dealer. She was absolutely beautiful with a college degree and the wits to back it up. She was the quintessential outlier for a place like this. Whit and I hit it off instantly. We were always talking when she was dealing and our small talk was easy and enjoyable but I knew she had a boyfriend so I never took it further. Then last December, she came in with an engagement ring on. I was devastated. To me this was exactly what always happened. I was that good guy people like but I never got the girl. I was so crushed by her engagement that I couldn't play my normal night shift anymore. I started showing up at 8 in the morning and avoided her to try and keep with my goal of making money.
After a month and a half, I had pretended to get over her and started to return to my normal night shift because I told myself the money was better. The night shift was far more fun then the boring old people on days. Whit was still working, still wearing the ring, and still as beautiful as ever when I came back. So I don't take up to much of your time, I'll sum it up. Whit broke off her engagement and started hooking up with me. I was very awkward and did some really stupid stuff. I lied to make myself seem better and I wasn't honest with anyone. She was going through a tough time in her life and I suggested that we move to Vegas together as simply a financial decision. We were taking our relationship or lack there of slowly but we were both professional and we went for it. While down there, my lies and flaws ruined what could have been. We decided that after a month that we would live together but just be friends.
I was fine with the decision originally. I still got to live in Vegas and make boat loads of money and got to hang out with a beautiful girl (no sex sucked). Things were going so well for me for about a month. I was having the time of my life and I had started being more comfortable around her. One day she told me she was taking a 4 day vacation to see her best friend. I thought nothing of it since shes done that before so she left and all was well. When she came back I could tell something was different. I asked her to tell me what was up and after originally refusing, she finally confessed that she had gone and visited another guy instead of her friend. I was completely crushed. I was in denial to think that someone like her wouldn't start dating other people but I didn't know what to do. I panicked, packed up my car, left her some money, and drove 15 hours back home in one shot.
It's been a week since I got back and my life is shattered. Everything I had ever thought was wrong. I discovered that I had lied to everyone, including myself. Ever since I can remember, I have always worked on making money. It was my therapy and my way of coping with emotion things. This is different. The pain I feel is worse then anything I have ever felt. I have gone through the phases of mourning. At first I was suicidally depressed and blamed my bad luck. Then, I thought I could just "man" up and go back and live with her because I missed her companionship. And then I went back to being suicidally depressed. While all this was happening, I kept contact with her. Because I had lied about how I felt to her, she didn't realize exactly what I was going through. Then I finally called her. It was a brutal but amazing talk. She helped me see what had happened and why it happened. It probably kept me from doing something stupid to myself
Now to present day. I've had "the game" in my bookshelf for years but never read it. This past weekend I pulled it out and started reading. I found the answer I was looking for. I've almost read the whole thing in 2 days and will probably finish it tonight. I am hooked. As someone who is very calculating and rational; relationships, women, and people have always been a mystery to me. I've always chalked my people problems to bad luck. Now I see the light. Just like how I learned to play poker, I will dedicate myself to understanding "the game." The only thing keeping myself moving forward right now is the idea that I can improve myself and show Whit that the person she met, isn't the person I really am. I plan is to read as much as possible, meet up with people on here in real life, and start learning the ways of picking up women and understanding what makes them tick. Regardless if she takes me back or not, I know that this endeavor will make me be the person I want to be. I am completely miserable in my current living situation and I want to move back to Vegas but I am not ready. I don't have the tools or understanding yet to go back alone. With your help, I want to become an expert and social situations and fix the hole I have in my life. Girls like Whit don't stay with AFCs, they deserve and get better. I refuse to just let her be a shooting star that flashed by and got away.
I have already taken the first steps. I have joined here and started reading the books. If someone is looking for a motivated protegee let me know. I am open to anything right now if there are workshops available I will fly to them. I will become a part of this community and offer my advice and opinions on anything I can. It took me until I was 25 to see that good people are what make life worth living and it's time for me to start living.
Cliffs: OP is a heartbroken AFC who got lucky with a HB and now wants to win her back. He's looking for help. Read his story, hes a good writer