Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 345, Level: 6
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 20.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    93
    Points
    345
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Trying to figure out what went wrong in NYC

    Hey everyone, I'm Lex, a 26-year-old New Yorker. I moved to NYC from upstate NY about 6 months ago and I've figured that being in a big city filled with beautiful women would be like a buffet for me. But something is amiss, and my luck with women is getting worse and worse. Last night a friend and I struck out hardcore at a bar, and it lead me to seek some help from you fine fellows.

    For pretty much all my life I've been the typical beta male. Growing up I was more into heavy metal, punk rock, comic books, sci-fi, and Magic: The Gathering than I was into women or partying or really being social. I had a small group of friends and we all kept to ourselves. I was really shy, and when I hit college I made the decision to come out of my shell. I began partying and socializing, and even though I was (And still am) into nerdy things, I learned to better socialize with people and not be an awkward nerd.

    But I still had trouble with women. I was raised by a single mother from the age of 14 on, and I inevitably became the stereotypical nice guy. But somehow I managed to get with some of the hottest girls I've ever been with. I became the male best friend of this amazingly beautiful girl freshman year of college. I figured the friend zone was better than nothing, until one day we were in her dorm room and she just leaned over and kissed me. I ended up losing my virginity to her, and doing a steady FWB situation for a few months. The next girl I was with was as beautiful as the first one. After college I began my longest relationship with a girl that lasted 2 years. She was really cute, but ever since we broke up it seems like every girl I've been with is just getting uglier and uglier.

    After breaking up with my ex I had a bit of a crisis, and I decided to change my life around. I was really out of shape and wasn't taking care of myself, so I began running and shed 30 pounds in 6 months. I also worked on getting a new wardrobe. I was looking better and in better shape than I had ever been in my entire life. And for a while I was able to get girls' numbers and hook up with girls pretty easily.

    But the problem was I could only get so far with girls. If a girl gave me her number I'd get in touch, only to have it not returned, or in the event she did respond, she'd act like a bitch or just keep me around as a texting buddy. A lot of times if I'm out and I meet a girl and get along well with her, somewhere along the way she just gets turned off and goes off somewhere else. Basically, I can only take things to a certain point before it falls apart.

    Since moving to NYC, I've had worse and worse luck with women. I can't understand it, either, I'm the best looking and most confident and social I've ever been. There must be something I'm doing that's turning them off. I'd say I'm about a 7, and so far I can't really get any interest from any girl higher than a 5. I'm on OKCupid, and as time goes on my luck gets worse and worse, to the point where this weekend I was chatting with a chick and she invited me over to her place. I tried to do some dirty talk, and she got offended because she didn't want to fark me. This girl was maybe a solid 4, and it just shocked me that I was put down by this troll.

    So long story short - I'm new to NYC, and my luck with women is getting worse and worse, even though I've been working hard to improve my overall life. I'm looking forward to finding some tips for my problems, and try to get hotter, higher-quality women.

  2. #2
    gintama123456789 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 84, Level: 1
    Level completed: 68%, Points required for next Level: 16
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    manila
    Posts
    16
    Points
    84
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    8

    Default Re: Trying to figure out what went wrong

    plsss help me guys i offended her with my teasing jokes i thought she will like it but everything went wrong

  3. #3
    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 288, Level: 5
    Level completed: 76%, Points required for next Level: 12
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Land Of Laughter
    Posts
    75
    Points
    288
    Level
    5
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    18

    Default Re: Trying to figure out what went wrong

    Just by reading your text it's quite easy to know what's wrong:

    - lack of self-confidence

    Key points I don't like to read: excuses about life problems, for as good as they may be; "I'm a 7" you can say you're being realistic, but that's a bad Mindset (I'll always be over 10 on my scale).

    You are overthinking too much. You are blaming yourself for your "rejections". Being analytic about your actions is good. But thinking and saying "I got turned out by this troll, a 4" is just a bad approach in life.

    So advice:
    - make sure you value your progress in your life. You have improved much from what you told, so put yourself on top of the hierarchy. Love yourself first.

    - Dirty talk is stupid. Alpha talk is what works. You can be flirty. But you won't get any girl to go to bed with you with brute dirty talk. At least I bet you used the dirty talk without any previous escalation (you should only use it when you know she wants to get it on with you).

    It's an hormonal thing. Men differ from women due to testosterone levels mostly. A female will always get attracted by someone confident that would be able to protect the child she'd bring up. Dirty talk is just awkward in most situations. Listen to what she wants to say, and using your speech connect your experiences with hers. You want her to get attached and attracted before escalating to sexual talk. Create the Tension with body language.

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,205, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Most PopularCommunity Award
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,120
    Points
    31,205
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts
    Rep Power
    1373

    Default Re: Trying to figure out what went wrong

    I don't think your issue is low self confidence. Anyone who is confident after so many blows that you've taken should be in a straight jacket. Confidence is a two way street so you can't really have it unless you get SOME kind of success.

    I would read about Mystery Method to get you started. You may be skipping attraction AND comfort and going straight for sexual talk.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    Lex S is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 345, Level: 6
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 5
    Overall activity: 20.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    93
    Points
    345
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: Trying to figure out what went wrong

    Thanks, guys. I think the dirty talk case I did take it too far. I had never met this girl before, but through text I was pushing it too much.

    One of my big issues, I think, is I have to find a good balance for these things. I'm working on how to better understand body language and non-verbal signals, but many times I don't escalate enough, or I escalate too much and scare them off. Overthinking is another problem, too. I'm stuck in my head too much. I've noticed most things just come easier if you listen to your gut and just jump in.


Similar Threads

  1. Can't figure her out! Need help getting control
    By bluearrowil in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 12
    Last Thread: 12-22-2012, 05:51 AM
  2. I can't figure out what's going on with this chick
    By sssha in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 07-29-2012, 10:05 PM
  3. can't figure out what to do with this girl
    By ndrd61015 in forum Isolating And Pulling
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 03-05-2012, 12:32 AM
  4. Father figure
    By pua4sx in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 08-22-2010, 08:20 AM
  5. HB 10 but cant figure how to get her
    By crobinson1 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 13
    Last Thread: 04-11-2010, 02:47 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com