Phil's the name, I'm 25 years of age. I'm half British/half Belgian. I live in Belgium where i study guitar building and on the week end I work as a barman in a Irish Pub, "the place to be" on Friday and Saturday nights in my town. The music is loud meaning a lot of potential comes walking through the door (The louder the clubs, the better looking girls walk in, for obvious reasons i should think).
I believe that my bar job gives me instant social proof (?)(i do get quite a bit of eye contact with different women throughout a night). I'm definitely not the worst looking guy out there, and i am very careful with my grooming (professionally) when i am behind the timber so that might help as well.
But, I have been out of the game for 5 years. I dumped my LT GF roughly 1,5 months ago and i have having issues with stage fright, aa's... I generally have the guts to walk over to a chick to initiate the conversation but it very often falls to a dead end, and i end up asking her a question, she answers, asking her another question, not related to the previous one, she answers...and so on... I also have the general feeling of not having anything interesting to talk about and not just in a AA phase. I mean in general i don't talk so much about myself...
Any ideas how to keep a conversation smooth?
Another issue is this one: As i have already mentioned, my Barman Job seems to work pretty well on chicks, i have corrected my posture, adapted my body language, and I now regularly get people coming up to me asking if i am the owner of the place, girls coming up giving me their phone number, or girls telling me "You're hot", "We want to meet you" or genuinely asking me to come over to their place after work (not the best looking ones tho, so far i have passed practically every time) (This trick really works for me; where ever you go walk around like you DO own the place). So i seem to have calibrated my body language correctly...
OK here is the trouble: I am looking for a genuine girlfriend, not really looking for one night stands. It seems to me tho that it is extremely hard to get a decent girl because of the unfounded theoretical success i (could) have with women. This seems to scare them off somehow...maybe scared of being too easy. I dont know...i might be wrong... To me that is the nr 1 fear of all chicks out there. That and the fear of not being appreciated. (Thats another way i try to beat AA's, i just say to myself she is experiencing the same thing)
Ok i'll leave it at that.
Any tips, comments, links are seriously welcome and appreciated.
Looking forward to reading the shat load of replys