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  1. #1
    BigJoeTrucking is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    I was dating my girlfriend for 4 months and she told me everyday she was in love. I thought this was the one I would marry and be with her forever. Then another man asked her out and she dumped me hardcore. I think she had many personal issues but I also know from reading on this forum I expose to much of myself and did a lot of wrong things that would make a woman wonder in a different direction. There is no cure for a broken heart unless you start dating again and it's hard to start dating when your heart is broken and you can't trust anyone or our sad. I have to get my self confidence back to a huge level and I am big guy so that is not easy. I hope the knowledge from this site will help improve my mind and my ways to women so I can better myself and that this kind of stuff doesn't happen again. I'm glad there is something out there to inform men on how to do it the right way. Where do I go from here? It sucks to feel pain and be hurt everyday.

  2. #2
    jpdrake is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    Dude, I've been there. Twice. Take a breather, allow yourself some alone time, then read The Mystery Method (if you haven't done so already).

    Best of luck to you!

  3. #3
    BigJoeTrucking is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    Thank you very much. I appreciate it!

  4. #4
    trunkmonkey is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    Agreed, Gotta deal with the pain first on your own. When your spirits rise, you'll be open to meeting people. Realize that it's a good thing she left now and not later, cause it would have happened. Now u can learn, grow, and get better in many ways. I'm in a similar boat, and it's time to work on myself. Good things happen after that

  5. #5
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    You came to the right place, dude take this time as a blessing to learn about yourself. I've always been bigger so I know the insecurites that stem from it. Learn and grow it's the only thing that dulls the pain enough to make it a distant memory. Get a hobby, join a gym, read some material of this site, keep posting eventually you evolve.
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  6. #6
    BigJoeTrucking is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    I feel I need to tell more. We lived 40 minutes apart so I spent every weekend at her apartment for 4 months. She would have mood swings and drama episodes about every weekend but I was blinded by love because she would apologize after. I know she has a percocet addiction in the past and after doing research I am convinced she was on them everyday. Sometimes unhappiness was there but also was love.

    I picked her up on a Friday and I can tell she was very different. We didn't even have any affection that night and both went to sleep. The next morning I wake up and breakfast was made and I made a comment about to much bacon. She freaked out and an we argued. She said, "I already another boyfriend anyway." I was shocked, hurt and stunned all at once. I grabbed my bag and went home. She went to the fair that day with her relatives (so she says) and then Six Flaggs the next day. I was home in pain. I'm going to try to make a long story short.

    She's now dating a construction worker that asked her out. She works at a store and he comes into the store everyday. It's been 4 weeks and I am bleeding in pain while another guy is in her apartment in the bed I slept in for 4 months. How farking painful is that???

    She moved on in two seconds and I can't. She changes her story and gives me 10 different reasons why we are not together but used to brag that I was the greatest boyfriend ever. I asked her if she thinks about our moments and times and she says now I take a pill and it blocks out the pain. She wouldn't tell me that if we were dating. She now talks to me and calls me by my name and expects me to be her friend.

    When she mentions this guy, I want to die. I took my friend's advice and doing the "no contact" rule. It just sickens me that I have to bleed for this whole time while she's banging some dude right away. How long can she block out the pain?

    Then she tells me a relative died and is crying on the phone and says, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I can't talk to the new guy about this." Oh, so now you need me? And she apologized for hurting me, only in hopes to talk to me as a friend in a time of tragedy? She also said she was pregnant twice with my baby in the 4 months. Once miscarried and once by surgery, but I don't know what to believe.

    She messed up my mind really good. When you loved something and lose it, you have to grieve. But I lost something and now someone else is loving it. How the hell do you deal with that? I lost my job over an argument with someone, because I was in a bad mood from my break up. So I lost my girlfriend, two unborn babies (so she says), my job, my heart and my soul. She took everything away from me.

    Everyday is a battle. This girl dumped me hardcore and is already calling him her new boyfriend. How do you survive something this horrible?

  7. #7
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    You recognize that this was inevitable. Heres the thing you believed yourself to be living in a mansion when in reality you lived in a shanty house. So what if she destroyed it, the nice things about life our ability to building something from nothing. You at this very moment in time are at the foundation! Build a palace screw the mansion and the shanty house. It lies on you where you want to be in, but you need to cut contact it's too painful and although it gives hope it also destroys it...
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  8. #8
    BigJoeTrucking is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Failed and hurt and hope to do better in the future!

    Thank you. I am trying to stay positive. I was emotional for the first couple of weeks and now my love has turned to hatred. I was drinking and now I am not. It just sucks you have to be alone and hurt and she doesn't have to do that. There is already someone there to guide the fall.

    My previous ex cheated on me and I was out of a relationship for three years and nothing but bad dates. I reunited with this current girl and fell in love at a time I was weak.

    I've done a lot of reading in the last couple of weeks. I realize I am attracting the wrong guy of people in my life. If you want the best, you have to be the best. If I am the worst, I am going to get the worst.

    I have to do a lot of changing for myself. But it's hard when you lose someone you love. I have been praying everyday and some days I feel like a higher power is changing my thoughts away from her and into another direction. I have been writing down advice you guys have been giving on this board and I hope to better educate myself for the future and protect my heart and emotions from getting destroyed again. Now we have to put up walls to protect our heart. Can we ever let them down again? How do you love and trust someone again? I just have to become so powerful that I don't care if they want to leave the next time. I don't know.


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