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  1. #1
    BigGuy87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I think I ruined my friendship. Or did she?

    Hello to All,

    I am new to this site so bare with me. I met a really nice woman three months ago. I am 28 and she is 34. She is single, no kids, never been married, and is very beautiful as well as mature. Her and I work at the same place of employment but not in the same location. I initiated the contact. We hit is off really well, ended up sleeping together. The one thing I can say about her is she gives me space, supports me and my career, and has never hassled or argued with me. I consider her to be a great catch. I always follow up with her to see how her day is and how she is doing. She always responds to my texts or calls. Whenever I want to see her she is always available.

    Flash forward* Her birthday was earlier this month. She had a birthday party with a few of her friends that following Saturday. She invited me, but I decided not to go. I talked to her that Friday and asked if we could see each that Saturday night before I went out of town the following week. She reminded me of the party, but suggested if it wasn't too late I could see her when the party was over. I told her to hit me up afterwards if she felt like it, then she suggested that we see each other that night if I wasn't too busy. I abliged and went to see her that night.

    Our night went as nice as always. Her and I share really good conversation. I enjoy being around her and have so much fun. I ended up staying the night and her and I talked for hours on end. Before I left, I gave her a kiss good bye and told her to have fun at her party. I let her know I made it home and that was the end of our date.

    We text each other a little bit later that Saturday morning (the day of her party). She sent me a pic of the large hickey I put on her neck...lol. She didn't seem too happy about it, but joked it off. Later that night, I received a pic from her. She was beautiful. She sent it before going to her party and she blew me a kiss by emoticon. For some reason, I didn't text her back or compliment her like I would normally. I am a very confidant man; however I wasn't sure how I was feeling that night.

    I went out of town as planned the following week and never heard from her. I knew she was going on vacation as well and didn't want to disturb her. I decided to break the silence and sent her a text last Tuesday wishing her well. She responded as normal and I even had a chance to speak with her the next day. After that no communication. I text this past Friday just checking up on her. I wanted to see her cause I miss her. I tried even though I felt a bit skeptical. Two hours after our initial texting I told her good night. She responded back letting me know how I disapper then reapper. All this time I didn't know she was hurting by me not responding back to her text she sent me the night of her party. I apologized and asked her what did she need me to do. All she asked for was "for me to not forget her". That was it. She didn't like how I dropped her and didn't communicate and then decided to resume communication.

    I personally felt like she was trying to tell me what to do, so I told her maybe we should cut out the sex until I get to know her more. She let me know that by her being older than me and with more experience, she is accustomed to men of my caliber. She also stated that she would never jeapordize my personal life, space, or career. She stated she didn't mean to make me uncomfortable and that wasn't her intentions. I text her back and said I understood and will never forget her. That I will not text but if I saw her at work I would speak to her. Yesterday when I got off work, I text her to see how she was doing. She responded and said she was just thinking about me. I asked her how her day was, she responded, I responded back then I never heard from her from the rest of the evening. I still haven't heard from her.

    So the question is...Did I run her away? Did I ruin my friendship with her? Does she not like me anymore?

    Answers/Thoughts?

  2. #2
    sailk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I think I ruined my friendship. Or did she?

    seems like you did go a little bit AFC on her..

    you should have just said that you forgot to respond and that you're sorry (here is the part where you give an ioi), but that you really like her (even though that can be too straight forward (depends on your relationship with her)).
    actually I think you might just have played wrong saying you would never forget her and what not.

    I believe everything can be fixed, but the question would be if you want to, is she worth it? can't you just find someone who doesn't think you're under her 'calliber' sounds pretty negative to me...

    but your question stated (title) who's fault it was, but your question at the end asked if your relationship was ruined... so I would say:

    title:
    nobody is to blame it's a 2 way thing you could have done better, so could she.

    end:
    friendship pretty ruined, yes you could say you ran her away, however your story does indicate she likes you...

    pretty messed up...


    -saikia

  3. #3
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I think I ruined my friendship. Or did she?

    you know what you did, you over confused her, she tried to make it simple, by not being to emotional, giving you you're space and just enjoying you, and you made it way to complicated, even for a women. now you are this complicated guy and that can be very unattractive.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.


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