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Thread: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

  1. #1
    Fu$10N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    I never thought that I had a problem. Even though I was a loser in high school, I always thought that college will change everything. So I didn't worry much.

    On some level, I was correct. College DID change a lot. I became more confident, more secure, more intelligent. But when it came to women...I remained a loser.

    I'm 21, and my high score is 0.75. I limped to third base with the only girlfriend I ever had, but failed to seal the deal. She dumped me afterward. But that wasn't the turning point for me. I was still in denial that I had a problem with women...I blamed it mostly on her. The defining moment came during this summer while I was taking summer courses. A drunk HB9 brought me into her dark room one Friday night with the intention of having sex with me. Even though she wrapped her arm around my waist, I knew she was too shy to follow through with her plan, so she waited for me to make the next move.

    I froze. My inexperience with women, combined with not carrying protection, completely shellshocked me. I didn't know what to do and the thoughts of whether or not this would be taking advantage of her were racing through my mind. I was still pretty much "a nice guy" after all and my naive morality didn't do me any good. So what did I do? I made some sh1tty joke and retreated. It was embarrassing.

    So I decided that never again. I only just recently stumbled upon Neil Strauss' The Game, which I am still reading. So this whole PUA thing is very new to me, but I'm picking up things quick. But the important thing is, I finally realized that I really suck with women, and that is unacceptable. Especially with the fact that I'm a good looking guy and in great shape who SHOULD be great with women but isn't. So I decided that it's time to change, create my own destiny, as I like to say. I'm looking forward to reading more material and meeting new people on this forum, and hopefully even go out sarging as soon as I'm able to.

    I'm Fu$10N (or Fusion) and I'm college kid in Philly studying physics (hence the name).

  2. #2
    Prodigy84 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    imo, don't lose sight of the fact that you can still be a nice guy. This movement has more/less helped me certify to myself who I am, and a big part of that is being an honest, sincere, genuinely nice human being. I do immoral things with girls, but the improvement studying pua things has given me is the inner game, and the confidence to go after what I want. A nice guy can still be charismatic. And what I've found is that if you're nice to all people in general, its infectious, people notice, and it attracts more people to you. It's all in the execution.

    Welcome, and good luck!!

  3. #3
    Fu$10N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    Oh yeah, I definitely agree with you. When I said "nice guy", I meant in a way as someone who doesn't know how to be a real man or how to handle women. I didn't join the forums in order to become a douchebag or anything. But thanks for the encouragement, I highly appreciate it!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    Women DO appreciate "Gentlemen". As in: guys who are confident, decisive, polite and respectful.

    But the "nice guy" in context here, would be the wuss who is too passive, indecisive, timid & unsure.

    Those are the guys who end up in the "friend zone". They're afraid to have a real opinion about anything, and are generally boring as hell.

    Some people wrongly assume that when we say don't be a 'nice guy', we're advocating that someone should be a jerk or an @sshole. That's definitely not correct.

    Also- it's not really about "how to handle women", but more that it's how to understand them.

    That's another often misunderstood concept. Some "outsiders" think we're trying to control or manipulate women; which is completely untrue.

    I agree we want to be in control of our lives & situations, and achieve the best possible outcome; but it's not about being dishonest.

    Although; there will always be guys who misuse the knowledge & continue giving us a bad reputation.
    Such is life....



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    its ok to be nice, but there is a difference between a nice confident gentleman, and a nice suplicating b!tch. the difference is that a gentleman never complains to get his way and doesn't get upset when things don't go his way. a gentleman doesn't try to "buy" a womans affection and isn't appolagetic about chasing after what he wants. he simply goes after what he wants and has the balls to tell a woman the word "no" when she tries to manipulate him or tries to get him to go against his morals. always remember that in your relationship you are the most important person. no woman should ever be more important to you than you are.

  6. #6
    keeksy1984 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    Reps to T-Mal and meteora for responses

    These forums and advice are all about giving ourselves choices

    And Good luck Fu$10N.. Many have started in a very similar Mindset as you

  7. #7
    TheManSohan is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    The conflict of being a nice guy can be difficult but the main idea is to be a GOOD guy, you see to women when you are being called a nice guy is translation for being bland, forgettable and predictable.Do you want to be that guy? No. So to be this good guy that is not any of the above you need to be the man that you want to be around. Always have that statement in the back of your mind and keep it there.

    Learn how to be an alpha male, that is vital. A man who is alpha never takes shit from anyone and knows how to deal with nearly everything in their life.

    Just keep reading on PUA material, everything is gold to your brain but always remember to practise, as much as possible and you will see your hard work pay in dividends.
    I am only responsible for what I say, not what you understand - The proverb of a true activist.

    I'm not driven by fear, I'm driven by Danger

  8. #8
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    "I'm a good looking man in great shape and there is no excuse for me not to be good with women"

    You are already off to a great start
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple

  9. #9
    Fu$10N is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    TheManSohan, I think you hit the target very well there. See, here's the thing, women do seem to find me attractive. I had a few girls mistake me for a male model. But when I approach them, or get to know them more, I always take that "good guy", boring, predictable, and asexual approach. And I guess most women either lose interest because of it, start assuming that I don't like them, and/or just give me the LJBF treatment. I don't think I have a fear of approaching women in general, I think my main problem is technique, which is probably the result of my own inexperience. It's why I'm here, to learn how I should act around women properly and how I should escalate it to a sexual relationship and LTR rather than just a friendship, because that is where I get stuck. Good education and a lot practice should fix that, but I won't be able to do it alone. Thanks for all the feedback and advice guys, this is very helpful!

  10. #10
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Tired of Being "A Nice Guy"

    I am a man. I am attracted to women and wish to bed those I have a connection with. I make no apologies and have no shame for this. I embrace my sexuality, for it is a part of me and who I am.
    KISS - Keep it Stupid Simple


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